(C) Copyright 2006 by choclit_tai.
I'm torn. I know I should be ashamed of what I've done, but every time I think about it I cannot help but smile. It was priceless- something I'll never forget. But unfortunately you are the only ones I can share this with. In fact if anyone found out, it could destroy two families.
I guess I should back up and explain myself. A couple of weeks ago I ordered the PPV boxing match between Bernard Hopkins and Jermaine Taylor. I invited over my neighbor Richard, who is a big boxing fan. Richard and his wife Darlene are kind of friends of ours. I say kind of because our relationship which once was very close is now estranged. If it weren't for the fact that our kids absolutely loved each other we probably wouldn't speak to each other. The problem is not so much with Richard and I, but more so Darlene and my wife Veronica. That whole competitive thing brings out the worse in women. I'd like to say that it's all Darlene's fault, but Veronica can take a little part in the blame. Accusations, misunderstandings, etc, have led a deterioration of sorts of the friendship, with Richard and I caught somewhere in the middle. So my invitation to Richard was a bit in vain. And I was not in the least be surprised when he called back to tell me that he had ordered the fight himself and that I was welcome to come over their house.
I had my drink in hand and was content in watching the fight alone when right before the main event I got a call from Richard. Apparently, there was a problem with his order and he wanted to come over and watch the fight after all. He brought his friend Leo, whom I've hung out with many times. So they showed up and we watched the fight. I was the gracious host, keeping their cocktails filled and supplying them with snacks. After the fight over I asked them if they wanted to shoot some pool. That's when the night took a turn.
As I said, Richard and I get along ok, but there has been a bit of distance with the friction between our wives. I guess we each want to support our respective spouses and keep some semblance of friendship. That night though, Richard was in rare form. I couldn't get a word in without Richard making a joke out of everything. He and Leo were childhood friends, so there were a couple of inside jokes that went right over my head, but apparently were gut-busters to the two of them. Leo really wasn't insulting me or anything, but instead played the ultimate side-kick to Richard's comic act. The drinks turned to shots and by the end of the night we were all pretty hammered. I'd had just about enough of Richard's comic relief at my expense so I kindly hinted that it was time for them to go.
They had walked to my house since we live right around the corner from each other, however Leo didn't live close to us and I was concerned because he was in no shape to drive home. He assured me that his wife Rita was at Richard and Darlene's house and that she'd drive them home. I thought it was a bit rude that the ladies hadn't invited Veronica over since the guys were all at our house, but like I said, the relationship was a bit strained. I'm sure Veronica noticed it too, but took the high road and didn't mention it before she eventually excusing herself and going up to bed.
It was about 2am when we loudly stumbled up to Richard's house and before we could fumble through his pockets for his keys, Rita came outside shushing us. She informed us that Darlene was tired and a bit tipsy and had gone up to bed. Rita had been looking out waiting for us. I told them to get on the road and assured them that I'd handle getting Richard inside safely. Leo thanked me for my hospitality and they were off.
I'm a pretty big guy (6'3", 215lbs) and I'm in shape, but I knew there was no way I was going to get Richard upstairs to his bedroom. Our houses have the exact same floor plan, so knew where their family room was and I took him to the couch. I figured I could leave him there on the couch in hopes that he'd sober up and make his own way upstairs to his bedroom. I was just about to leave him there when out of his drunken stupor he cracked one last joke. My first instinct was to literally knock him upside the head with a sofa cushion, but then I got a much better idea.
He laughed himself back to sleep, so I left him on the couch and took off my shoes. I left them at the bottom of the stairs and made my way upstairs. It must have been a mixture of the alcohol and my anger clouding my judgment, as what I was determined to try was insane. I crept into their bedroom and turned down all the blinds to seal off the moon light coming through the windows. I then shut and locked the door to protect from sounds, but also to give me warning if Richard or one of their kids tried to come in.
