When One Day We Are Gone

[Author's note: Cassidy Hayes, psychologist by day and mother of two, is struggling as her husband Damian cheats on her with Lily. Blackmailed through incriminating videos into doing what Lily tells her, Cassie finds herself yielding to the domineering sexy blonde younger woman. Meanwhile, Cassie is exploring a strange world, having made a new friend in Madame Syn, the owner of the Lost and Found and a highly accomplished Dominatrix.

Cassie thought she knew what she wanted, stripping naked in the car for her fitness instructor, Aidan. But she realises that she needs something else. As she accepts that her marriage is finally beyond saving, Cassie chooses a new life and an unexpected beginning.]

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WHAT WE TELL OURSELVES IN THE DARK

Cassie rode the elevator, feeling suddenly like she was making the wrong choice. She was still dressed in her long-sleeve top and her dark leggings, in suburban chic. The elevator pinged, announcing her arrival on the penthouse floor. The doors opened and after a moment's hesitation, she stepped out.

The corridor was plain, with hard-wearing carpet and neutral tones. There were four doors, two in front and then one at each end. She turned left and walked down the corridor to apartment one but before she could knock, the door opened.

"Cassidy, what a lovely surprise," Syn said, smiling.

She was dressed in jeans and a light woollen sweater, more casual than Cassie had ever seen her. It made her seem more relaxed, somehow. Her feet were bare and her long, silvered-blonde hair was pulled back from her delicate face in a ponytail.

"Thanks for making time," Cassie replied as Syn beckoned her in.

"I think we're a little past the stage of making appointments," Syn said, her expression soft and playful. "Would you like the tour?"

Cassie liked seeing this side of her, out of costume, in the light. She followed as Syn led her into the apartment, pausing to show her guest around.

"Toilet, master bedroom through there. Guest bedrooms here."

The apartment was sparsely furnished but finely detailed, reflecting the understated elegance of its owner.

"What's through here?" Cassie asked, pointing to a closed door.

"The gateway to hell," Syn intoned, arching her eyebrows. Her hand settled on the handle.

"What?"

"Sex dungeon."

Before Cassie could respond, Syn opened the door to reveal a small room with a washing machine and dryer.

Syn laughed, "Laundry, actually. Come this way."

Cassie followed Syn through an entranceway and came to a halt. The space was large, floored in an expensive dark wood, completely open plan with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out from her high vantage point towards the tall office buildings in the centre of the city. To her left was an ultra-modern kitchen in the latest designs, an island counter with a fruit bowl and a stack of papers. To her right, a low lounge suite curved around a coffee table that may have been a work of art, facing a large flat screen recessed into the wall. Near the windows on that side, behind the living area, was a desk and chair, flanked by a bookshelf and overhanging standard lamp. In the far corner where the glass walls met, Cassie could see a sumptuous daybed and occasional table positioned to take in the expansive view of the cityscape.

"This is fabulous," Cassie gasped. She was drawn to the windows and stood, looking out at the streets far below.

"Who would have thought torture pays so well?" Syn replied from the kitchen area.

"Really?"

Syn opened the fridge.

"Heavens, no. I barely keep the club afloat. Room hire and drinks margins wouldn't cover even the guest bedroom. Wine?"

Cassie looked around again, taking it all in. She nodded distractedly.

"Harvey had a number of interests. He was very astute. Property was his business, the club was his hobby."

Syn poured the wine and came over. Even barefoot, she moved with a subtle grace.

"I was his passion."

She handed a wine to Cassie and raised her glass. Cassie raised hers in reply and when Syn drank, Cassie took a sip too. The pale blue eyes were studying her. Cassie was trying to find the words she needed to say.

On the phone, it had felt simple, uncomplicated, a woman asking a friend if she was busy or not. But now Cassie was actually here, standing in Syn's fabulous penthouse apartment, her courage had deserted her. The aftershocks of her morning with Aidan had shaken her, pushing her out of her comfort zone and now, here she was following that new trajectory. All she had to do was hold her nerve.

"So," Syn began, pre-empting her, "Is this a tete-a-tete? Or is it a confession?"

Syn took another mouthful of wine and Cassie followed her.

"Or is it Dutch courage?"

Syn let the sentence hang, waiting for Cassie to fill the silence. Cassie felt herself trembling under the gaze of the older woman. She'd cut straight to the heart of it, immediately.

Cassie raised her chin, steeling herself.

"The last one," she replied.

Syn's response was not what she expected.

"And what gives you the impression that I'd be amenable?"

Syn's gaze was steady as she studied Cassie's reaction. Cassie had the uncomfortable feeling that Syn already knew how the conversation was going to go.

"What gives me the impression that you're not?" Cassie countered.

A faint smile danced at the corner of Syn's mouth. "Do you even like women, Cassidy?"

"I... uh...."

"Let me ask a different question, do you think I like women?"

"I... I don't know."

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere. So, what facts do you have to go on? I was married for years to a man I loved very deeply, who is no longer in my life. I haven't sought out anyone else since, nor did I ever expect to because one partner was enough."

Cassie blushed furiously, suddenly ashamed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't...," she mumbled, her voice trailing off. "What am I even doing here?"

She put down the glass of wine and looked towards the door.

"That's the real question, Cassidy. Why did you come to me?"

"Because. Just because," Cassie murmured, uncomfortable now, wanting to escape.

"Because what?"

"It's just a feeling."

"And what do you feel?" Syn pressed.

"That you're interested in me too," Cassie replied, then seemed to pull herself together, looking up to meet the curious gaze of the older woman.

Cassie began to settle. There was no point being ashamed or embarrassed, the only thing that mattered now was the truth.

"I think," Cassie said, "That you like me."

"And you like me too?"

"Yes."

Syn said nothing, leaning up against the counter sipping her wine.

"It's been a long time since anyone told me they liked me," she conceded, "A lot of other emotions, but never that."

Syn placed her glass down carefully and then approached Cassie.

"Have you ever had sex with a woman?" she asked.

Cassie shook her head.

"Have you ever even kissed a woman? I don't mean a greeting, I mean a real kiss?"

Lily. No, not that, Cassie thought, Lily didn't count. Lily just used her, it wasn't making love. Cassie quelled those thoughts ruthlessly; that bitch wasn't going to intercede here, not now she was standing before this elegant, beguiling woman.

"No," Cassie confessed.

Syn placed her hands on Cassie's shoulders, her thumbs stroking the sides of Cassie's neck gently.

"Then let's start there. Let's see if you like it."

Syn approached, gradually, her eyes searching Cassie's face. She paused just before contact and pursed her lips together to moisten them, then she touched her lips to Cassie's so softly Cassie barely felt the contact. It sent shivers down her spine and into her core, delighting in the feather-light touch of the other woman's lips. Syn pulled back.

"How was that?"

Cassie's mouth opened, but she couldn't speak; she was lost for words. In reply, Syn kissed her again, letting Cassie enjoy the lingering touch of her lips. She pulled back again, waiting.

"That was nice," Cassie breathed.

Syn chuckled. "Nice? Oh, Cassidy Hayes, you are a tough one to please."

Cassie found herself laughing too, expelling some of the tension: whatever they were going to do, there was no more need to anticipate because they had already begun. Cassie leaned forward, planting a kiss on Syn's lips, repaying the favour, pulling back to study the ice-blue eyes. She smiled.

"How was that?"

Syn smiled back. "Nice," she drawled, "But lacked finesse. There is an art to kissing a woman. It's very different to kissing a man."

"Harsh."

"But fair, and no, this is not my first time, though...."

Syn pulled back abruptly, reaching for her wine glass and taking a sip, contemplating Cassie from a distance.

"Though? What?" Cassie asked.

"Nothing. Ah. I guess I'm not used to it. This."

"Kissing?"

Syn looked at her strangely. "Yes, just kissing. Just... this," she replied, "As opposed to this and everything else, all at once."

She drank some more wine, seeming to come to a decision.

"A confession," Syn stated, "I have found it very hard to date anyone. In the club, of course, it's out of the question. Madame does not do feelings. Then, what else is there? Dating apps? My name in a search engine, a little bit of digging, and then suddenly they're either gone or painfully eager to meet up. Or friends of friends? All my friends are either through Harvey or through the club."

"So, you're stuck."

"Yes. Madame Syn's reputation has trapped me in a gilded cage where I spend my days making everyone else's fantasies come true."

Syn lifted her chin, staring at Cassie now. "Am I here to make your fantasies come true, Cassidy? Is that why you came?"

"I'm just here to take it one step at a time. I'm just following my instincts, and they led me here to you," Cassie replied, "And you know what? I'm done with planning, and measuring out and consequences. None of it got me any further than a dead marriage and an empty bed."

Cassie reached past Syn to retrieve her wine. Fixing Syn with a look, she finished the half-full glass in two gulps and put the glass down on the countertop.

"So yes, maybe I'm following my fantasies for the first time. Maybe that's what you are, the unknown, but I'm willing to find out."

Syn's mouth creased with amusement. "Then let me ask you a question. Do you want to take a bath?"

Cassie nodded, "Let's go."

Syn laughed and turned, picking up Cassie's empty glass and retrieving the bottle from the fridge, beckoning Cassie to follow as she began to walk back towards the hallway. Cassie followed.

"By the way," Syn called out over her shoulder, "That was a vintage Chardonnay you just chugged. Very expensive courage."

---

Syn turned off the taps and sprinkled some more bath salts into the water, swirling them around with her hand as she sat on the rim of the free-standing marble bathtub. The bathroom was sumptuous, marble tiled to match the bath, with a contrasting feature of slate hexagonal tiling running up each wall. The far wall was floor-to-ceiling glass, looking away from the cityscape, out to the hills. They were too high up to be overseen by the lower buildings; the view was breathtaking.

Cassie let Syn take the wine glass from her hand and set it down on the little table next to the bath. Syn had rolled up the sleeve of her sweater to sample the water temperature; now she reached down to her waist and pulled the woollen garment up over her head, revealing her modest breasts in a plain white bra. She folded the sweater up neatly and placed it on the washbasin counter, then unhooked her bra and stripped herself topless. Cassie found herself staring at Syn's breasts, but was powerless to do anything else. Syn approached her, stalking across the marble tiles barefoot, like a cat.

Syn took Cassie's hands in hers and brought them up to her chest. Cassie didn't resist as she was made to cup Syn's breasts. As she touched the soft flesh, she trembled as a buried, forbidden feeling deep inside her pushed to the surface.

"How do I feel?" Syn asked, a light smile playing on her lips.

"So, uh... so soft."

"Don't be shy. It's little bit late for all that now."

Cassie could feel her hands trembling, and knew that Syn could feel it too, but the older woman merely smiled reassuringly. Cassie ran her thumbs over the delicate skin, feeling the weight of the pert flesh. Her eyes were locked on Syn's nipples, watching them swell as Syn's body reacted to her touch. Tentatively, Cassie stroked the darker rings of her areolae, feeling the change of texture, the tiny bumps in the silky skin, occasionally glancing up to Syn's face for reassurance. Syn's eyes were on Cassie's face, still smiling. Cassie summoned up the courage to brush her thumb pads over Syn's nipples, and Syn emitted a languid sigh.

"They're beautiful," Cassie murmured.

Syn took her by the shoulders, gently manoeuvring her until she sat down on the rim of the bath, Syn's breasts now at Cassie's eye level. Syn took half a step closer, allowing Cassie to explore her cleavage with her fingers. Cassie was lost in the moment, enthralled by the feeling of her fingertips over another woman's breasts. It didn't feel strange or obscene, but she was aware of just how different this was to running her hands over her husband's chest. Another unwanted thought; she banished it from her mind, concentrating on the luxury of permission to touch Syn's body so intimately. She knew what she was going to do, and as she leaned forward to touch a swollen nipple to her lips, she felt no anxiety over this, just a strange sense of relief.

Cassie pursed her lips and placed a tiny kiss on Syn's left nipple, feeling the other woman's hand stroking the back of her neck in response. Cassie leaned forward again, opening her lips this time, drawing the nipple into her mouth. She closed her lips around it and Syn's body shifted. Encouraged, Cassie began to suck gently, the way that she liked to be treated herself, and thrilled at Syn's immediate response, feeling her quiver. Syn stepped back, breaking contact, a strange expression on her face that passed momentarily, replaced with her standard laconic grin.

"They're not real of course," Syn said, "Gravity has its way with us all, but it can be resisted. Harvey found a man in New York and offered me the choice," Syn said, "I took it, obviously, and have never looked back. I have never regretted allowing Harvey to shape me."

She cupped her own breasts, looking down at them.

"He could have asked me to go up a bra size, or even to balloon to comical proportions and I would have done it," she mused, caressing herself, "But he wanted me just like I was, he said, perfect forever."

She hitched her thumbs into her jeans and snaked them down her hips, pulling her panties down at the same time, stripping herself nude in front of Cassie, revealing a polished crotch. Once again, she bent down to retrieve her clothing and folded it neatly beside the washbasin before turning back to Cassie. There was no hint of self-consciousness in her movements as she approached Cassie again, leaning forward to wrap her arms around the seated woman's neck. Naked, she bent down to give Cassie a lingering kiss on the lips.

"The water will be getting cold."

Syn stood up and raised a leg over the rim of the bath, sliding her foot into the steaming water. She swung her other leg over the side and allowed herself to slip into the water, leaving Cassie poised on the rim, still fully dressed and looking down at the older woman as she sank to her shoulders. Syn's pale blue eyes were studying her intently, but not harshly. She was waiting.

Cassie rose to her feet, her hands coiled in the fabric of her top, motionless. Was this what she wanted? After giving herself to one man for all those years, would it be Syn with whom she ended her marriage? Syn's expression changed.

"You don't have to undress, Cassidy. You don't have to get in," Syn told her, "Even if you do, you don't have to go any further. I won't ask you."

Cassie felt the knot of nerves in her stomach and the fabric of her top, bunched in her fists. She could see the welcoming, uncomplicated smile of the woman in the bath.

"And even if you do go further," Syn continued, "It can be just this once, a little moment of life experience. You're not changed forever, unless you choose to be changed."

Syn closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting her hair fall into the water, until she had sunk to her jawline. Her hair began to fan out around her in the water.

"You could just have a bath. The water's lovely."

Cassie pulled her top up over her head, spurred into motion. She worked quickly, stripping herself nude, as if any delay might give her the chance to back out. She rolled up her clothes and dumped them next to Syn's, in contrast to her neat little pile. Cassie sat down on the edge of the bathtub at the opposite end to Syn and lowered herself into the welcoming water.

For a long while, she sat there with her back against the bath, not moving. Then Syn's head rose from the water, the pale, icy blue eyes finding hers, enthralling her. Syn leaned forward, water running from her long blonde hair as she rose up further, her breasts surfacing at last. Cassie found herself leaning forward too, to meet the other woman halfway. Syn reached out and stroked Cassie's cheek then leaned into a long, lingering kiss that made Cassie's stomach churn.

"Turn around."

Cassie obeyed, then felt the other woman's hands on her shoulders, pulling her backward until she was supported by Syn's body beneath her, with Syn's mouth next to her ear. Lips brushed her earlobe, sucking gently, sending a shiver through her. Syn's hands caressed her neck with long, unhurried strokes, letting Cassie acclimatise to the feeling of being wrapped in a woman's embrace. Cassie felt as if she had stepped outside herself now, as if Syn was stroking the body of someone else and Cassie was simply watching and feeling her tender ministrations. Syn's hands drifted to Cassie's shoulders and then began to run down her arms, making Cassie's body shudder with sudden delight.

Syn's fingertips reached Cassie's elbows and then swept inwards, over her stomach and then up through the valley between Cassie's breasts to finish at her shoulders again. No words were spoken, the only sound being the soft rippling of the water as Syn's fingers traced out the same route again. Cassie closed her eyes, concentrating on Syn's touch, feeling the way the experienced woman caressed her skin, fingernails edging closer and closer to the landscape of Cassie's breasts.

Cassie squirmed in Syn's arms and was rewarded with a kiss on her ear. The fingers trailed down her arms again, over her tummy button and then up. This time, they parted, circling under Cassie's breasts, the featherlight touch trailing over her soft, sensitive skin. Syn's fingers traced around each breast in lazy, ever decreasing circles, orbiting around Cassie's erect nipples, making them throb. Cassie's eyes were closed tightly now, all her senses focused on Syn's steady progression.

A kiss on the side of her neck; the shifting of Syn's naked body under hers; the fragrance of the warm water lapping around her body; the fingertips spiralling inwards around her areolae and then finally across her sensitive, swollen nipples. Cassie gasped at the contact, feeling an electric pulse pass from her breasts directly into her groin. Maddeningly, Syn's fingertips began to spiral away, and Cassie groaned. She felt Syn's body shudder and realised that she was laughing quietly. The fingers began to spiral inwards again, making Cassie wait for that blissful moment of contact.

When it came, it was unexpected, a sudden sliding of a finger under her delicate nubs and then a thumb above, applying a little pressure and squeezing gently. Cassie's body responded, her knees rubbing together in arousal as she arched her back to push her breasts upwards into Syn's firm touch. But then the fingers were gone, settling over her tummy button, the lightest touch, but conducting a strange, wild energy directly through Cassie's skin into her core. Glacially, inevitably, the fingers began to descend, moving underwater over her stomach to her waxed mons, where they halted.