Life always has a way of throwing something different into the mix. Something you never would have thought possible, not by a long shot. But one little moment of weakness, and my life took a turn so completely that I become repulsed with the depravity of such a sinful act. The shame of what had occurred still haunts me. And yet, the wetness between my legs tells me otherwise.
Maybe a little about myself. I'm a happily married, 44 year old mother of 3. I've been married to my husband, Albert, for 26 mostly wonderful years. He's a fantastic husband, lover and father and has always done a great job to ensure our family was comfortably well-off. Our 3 children, each 3 years apart, are Harry, Bethany and Simon at 24, 21 and 18 respectively. Harry and Bethany have both since moved out of the family home leaving Simon, myself and Albert in a now mostly quiet house.
My name is Sera. I'd like to say that at 44 years of age I've kept myself in pretty decent shape. I've got few more curves than I did when I was younger. Something I inherited from the birth control pill I was on for so many years that not only made me put on weight, but also diminished my sex-drive. About 10 years ago when we mutually decided we wouldn't have anymore children, Albert got the snip so I could come off the pill. Not only did my libido return in full swing, but I was able to shuck the majority of my weight fairly easily, which in turn made me feel even sexier. I was now curvy in all the right places, large breasts and a sexy round ass. My thick black hair, still shiny and full, framed a youthful wrinkle free face usually done up with some minimal black eye make-up and red lipstick to accentuate my full lips.
If I was to point out just a teenie-weenie disappointment. At 44, I was now in full swing, ready and willing. But Albert, whom was now 50, well... him not so much. He is usually good to go once every couple weeks, and even then the intensity has diminished, leaving me unsatisfied. But it's just that, a disappointment, not really a complaint.
My life turned upside down, quite suddenly, on a random Tuesday afternoon. I had finished all of my work for the day and just wasn't feeling like being stuck in an office when the day was just so beautiful outside. With permission granted from my boss I headed out the door just after 1pm and began my drive home. Taking an alternative route through town via a back road I was surprised when the traffic was backed up, coming to a complete halt.
While waiting I looked out my window at the not so nice street, focusing on a group of homeless older people littering an alleyway just across from where I was parked. They were grubby, likely hungry and my heart went out to them, as I became strangely sentimental, thanking my own personal situation for never having to live such a life. One of the homeless in the group was a woman, and something pulled at my heartstrings, telling me to reach out and help this poor soul. Without much thought I wound down the passenger window and yelled out to her to get her attention. They all looked over at me and I immediately felt foolish but attempted to beckon her over anyway. She pointed to herself and I nodded to affirm I meant her and she began shuffling her way over to my car. Once she reached me she bent awkwardly to peer through my open window.
"How would you like to get a nice meal and get cleaned up?" I offered, loudly.
She looked at me uncertainly then turned around to look at her group of unfortunates before she turned back to me. "No...," she simply replied. "I... I can't. No!" And she shuffled off again before I could fully take-in the rejection. I was quite dumbstruck to be honest. What an odd situation.
I was still leaning over the passenger seat when one of the homeless men walked over to my car. He must have been between his 50's and 60's and was scruffy, dirty and had longish dirty unkempt grey & black hair with the same colour in patches on his face where it looked like he had attempted to groom his face with a pair of blunt scissors but apparently gave up halfway through. It took me a moment to gather my bearings to what was happening and by then he had leaned down to peer though my window and i was greeted to a partially toothless dirty yellow smile.
"You know, I'd die for a hot meal," the man grumbled at me. His voice was coarse, gravelly, with almost a hint of cockney peaking through. "And what I wouldn't do to wash some of this dirt off of me, you know."
I was taken aback and I suddenly realized what he was asking for. My mind screamed NO! I become aware the traffic in-front of me was finally beginning to move and I felt a forceful desire to hit the pedal to the floor and get away from this... bum!
"Unless of course..." he continued. "... your charity only extends to other women."
He kind of just smirked at me and I panicked. Here was this hobo, questioning my generosity. Generosity that I was about to snatch back right from underneath him. He was right of course. This man was indeed so beneath me that I had no intention of helping him and instead would happily leave him to rot in his seriously miserable existence. And that truth made me feel sick to my stomach, that and the wretched smell wafting in through the window. What kind of human was I?
"Sure..." I heard myself say. WHAT? My mind screamed at me. Just drive away, NOW!
The passenger door opened, and my smelly, homeless companion fell into the seat next to me, closing the door after himself. His dirty smile never leaving his face. I suddenly became away of how this would look to other people and became worried somebody that knows me had seen me picking up strange men on the side of the road. Without a word, I quickly started the car forward and got out of there.
The smell was what brought me back to reality. It permeated around the car and I wound down all the windows to clear the thick stench of dirt and piss from the air.
"I'm William, by the way," he said, still smiling and offering a dirty hand.
"I'm Sera," I replied, shaking his hand briefly before returning mine to the wheel. I was so nervous I couldn't think straight, let alone make conversation, and the car was silent for an awkward minute.
"Thanks for this," William offered up, finally breaking the silence. "Not many peeps be this generous. You have a kind heart."
"Oh, I don't know about that..." I replied nervously.
"No?" he questioned. His voice was like sandpaper to my ears. "You're not one a them serial killers or nothing, that goes about killing the homeless are you?"
"No, of course not," I gasped allowed. Jesus!
He cackled loudly at my reaction, clapping his hands. "I'm just playing with you, Sera. You're obviously one of them ladies that like to pick up homeless men for sexy times. Anyone can see that!"
"No, definitely not!" I snapped abruptly.