"Charles, I have a problem," announced the Lady Margaret Spendmore.
Charles Spendmore regarded his sister with surprise and suspicion.
"You, Lady Margaret, engaged to, and very shorty due to marry, the Earl of Havalot, have a problem?" queried Charles. "And you've come to me regarding it? Why not to the parents?"
"Because it concerns the marriage bed and the duties therein," snapped Margaret. "In a nutshell, I have no idea of what takes place in the marriage bed or what I'm supposed to do, and you are going to help me resolve the matter."
Charles regarded his sister, somewhat taken aback. How could she know nothing?
"Margaret," he said patiently, "we have a home farm. We also have a horse stud, hunting dogs and cats galore. How can you possibly not know about sex? The marriage bed is just about sex, you know."
Margaret glared at her brother, blushing slightly.
"I know that marriage includes sex. Or at least, I know it in theory. But what on earth do I know about sex? When have I ever had a chance to learn? The home farm or the stud? I've never been allowed near them if something as unmentionable as sex is going to take place. If they take a stallion out to the mares they also take me for a long walk in a different direction. I know nothing."
"Then why don't you get mother to talk to you about it?" asked Charles in some exasperation. "Why come to me?"
"Right. Talk to Mother. Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head over it, darling. The Earl will know what to do. Well, hooray for the Earl, but that doesn't mean he wants to sit down and explain to me what I should be doing."
Charles laughed at the impersonation of their mother. He had to admit that Margaret was right. Their mother would avoid a discussion about sex as though it was a contagious disease.
"Point taken," he allowed. "Still, why can't you discuss it with the housekeeper or one of the maids?"
"Our housekeeper?" scoffed Margaret. "I tried. She's worse than mother. Just close your eyes and let the Earl do what he wants, was her advice. And it's really not something I could discuss with the maids. They'd laugh at me. It would be a terrible loss of prestige."
Charles was amused.
"So you've run out of options and have come to me for instructions on what to do in bed?"
"Not instructions, as such," said Margaret, looking innocent.
Charles knew his sister and totally distrusted that look.
"Then what precisely do you mean, as such," he demanded, his suspicion plainly on display.
"I was hoping more in the lines of a demonstration," Margaret calmly informed him, and watched with interest as Charles choked.
"Damitall! You're my sister! I can't touch you that way and you damn well know it," snarled Charles, once he got his voice under control.
"Really, Charles, I'm shocked at you. The very idea. And please don't swear. It's ungentlemanly."
Now that she had Charles off balance, Margaret went in for the kill.
"My idea was that you should take one of the maids to bed and I could observe. That way I'd know exactly what was going on. It wouldn't be any hardship for you, either."
Charles was relieved but still highly dubious.
"Oh, no worries," he said. "I just wander in, grab a maid and drag her off to the nearest bed. Or maybe just push her down to the floor."
"Not exactly," said Margaret. "Tomorrow is fair day. Most of the staff have been given permission to attend the fair and there'll only be a couple of people here. The parents are duty bound to attend the opening and after that they'll go the Squire's place for drinks and dinner.
The only maid on my floor will be Ella, the new girl. The one I've seen you watching. We only need to wait until everyone heads off to the fair and you can come upstairs, grab Ella, and give me the demonstration."
Charles was impressed. Margaret had put some thought into this. And she'd chosen a nice piece of bait. He'd actually been considering trying to seduce Ella.
"I see. A reasonable plan," he admitted. "Possibly one small flaw. What if Ella doesn't want to be part of your demonstration?"
Margaret gave him a surprised look.
"So what if she doesn't? She's a maid. She'll do as she's told, like it or not."
"You don't mind if I have to force her a little?" asked Charles.
"She's a maid," repeated Margaret. "You don't have to force them. Just make her do as she's told. From what you've told me she'll enjoy what you do, so it doesn't matter if she's a bit reluctant."
Amused, Charles decided to go along with Margaret's ploy. It wouldn't be the first time he'd had to use a little muscle to assist in a seduction, and Ella was a nice little package. He found himself looking forward to the next day.
Fair day broke with clear skies and a slight breeze. The staff hurried through the essential chores, eager for their rare day off. By mid-morning they'd gone, leaving the skeleton staff who had the misfortune to remain on duty. During the afternoon the unlucky few would swap with another unlucky few, but they'd still miss out on that early rush.
Lady Margaret watched the staff leave, a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. Charles stood by her side, amused and anticipating a little fun.
With the last trailers walking out Charles turned to Margaret.
"Why don't we wander along to your room and you can summon a maid."
Margaret nodded.
"Have you worked out how you're going to tell her what is required from her," she asked, curious.
"Oh, I thought I'd just dispense with the asking," Charles said. "When she comes in I'll just push her over the end of the bed and toss up her skirts. Then you can see what I do and how she reacts. I'll try to remember to explain things but if I forget feel free to ask."
