"So, I get this package... It's weird because it was just left on the hood of my car. It's like someone left it accidentally on the hood of my car... like they were looking for their keys, and they left this little shoe box type-of-thing on my car and drove away and forgot about it."
"This was in the parking lot at work?"
"Yes."
"So you opened it?"
"Yes."
"And...?"
"Inside I found this pair of shoes."
"Wait - was it wrapped, like a gift?"
"Yup... like a birthday gift, but no name, or anything... They were – are - really pretty... Sorta' sexy high heeled things."
"Huh...? You sound like you liked them."
"Yes, actually..."
"That's funny... You never wear shoes like that, which – by the way – we really need to talk about. For someone with your curves, you really do a good job at hiding your body."
"And there was this note, too..."
"Oh, wow. So what did you do?"
"Well, I was looking around, just to see if anyone was watching – it was just me – you know how I'm always the last person to leave and that parking lot is deserted at night, right? And, anyway, I read the note."
"What did it say?"
"It said: wear these shoes if you want to be used..."
*************************
"What?"
"That's all it said: wear these shoes if you want to be used... Well, the word wasn't actually 'used', if you know what I mean. I can't even say that word."
"Oh good Lord."
"But this is where it gets really weird. The shoes fit me perfectly."
"You tried them on? Let me get this straight: There's a note - threatening you with something if you put on these shoes - and of course, you put them on! You are crazy!"
"Oh, please, it wasn't like a black helicopter was going to appear all of a sudden and take me away... Not right then, anyway."
"Still..."
"So here's the thing. Well, a couple of things..."
"Okay."
"I wore the shoes to work today..."
"Oh, Lord, you are so stupid. What happened?"
"First, let me tell you, I think I know who it is... Well, I'm not one-hundred percent sure, but, you know... Sometimes you can tell."
"For the love of... what's gotten into you? You have a boyfriend, remember?"
"Him? Oh, that's funny. Do I need to remind you about our last conversation on that topic?"
"Okay, yes. I remember. You want to be 'fucked'... and he definitely won't 'fuck' you. That's what I guessed, anyway, because - apparently - that's another word you can't say. For a girl that dresses and acts so conservative, you really do have some surprisingly strong feelings on the subject."
"I know. Look, I have some issues... I dress like a typical suburban mom... even I know that. I have a square job and a boring life. I know that nobody – except you – has any idea of what I'm really like... what I really want."
"It's the same for a lot of people... I just think with you, it's..."
"More obvious?"
"Yup. Kinda'... Well, completely obvious, actually... I see you checking out other guys, and I see where your eyes roam to... You just never act on it."
"Sometimes I feel like a freak... like I shouldn't think about it so much. Like there is something wrong with me."
"So you said you think you know who it is?"
"Yes... I was sitting at my desk a week or two ago, and I had one of my shoes off – I was rubbing my foot – and I know I had this look. It was probably pretty weird."
"Like you were enjoying your foot rub too much?"
"Yes... exactly." - Laughs. "And he happened to walk by at just that moment... we talked for a little bit, and I swear I saw him take a big long look at the inside of my shoe..."
"Where the size is printed?"
