Something very traumatic happened to me recently - something that could have killed me. Since then, I have been reliving all of the major events in my life. Fortunately, I have plenty of college friends and family to discuss things with. However, there is one event I must keep secret and anonymous.
During my senior year in high school, I was a determined, albeit slow, member of my school's track & field team. A week after I turned 18, our beloved coach retired after 30 years. He was very old, but very good at coaching track. All the girls loved him like a grandfather.
He was quickly replaced by his oldest son, Matt, who seemed more than competent. I think it had more to with the fact that he was super-hot - dark brown hair, ripped muscles, perfect teeth and a sexy smile - everything a girl dreams of. He was only in his late twenties, and all of the girls fantasized about him constantly. He didn't have to work hard to motivate us to perform better at meets.
Everything seemed normal during our first few workouts and practices. He was good at his job. However, I quickly noticed that he loved to stare at the girls. It made some of us uncomfortable.
At first, no one complained. In fact, many of the girls began to instigate, later bragging about being undressed by Matt's eyes. I was not one of them.
Though I now know that I am decently attractive, during high school, it was up for debate, at least in my mind. Most of my friends say I look like a short, skinny, brunette version of Fiona Apple. But during high school, I had a self-esteem problem, like most girls that age.
As his behavior continued, Matt begun to make some of us uncomfortable. Once, he "accidentally" found himself in the girls' locker room. Acting shocked, he played it off, saying he wasn't familiar with the school building.
The next day, a friend of mine made the mistake of mentioning her concerns to a teammate. The other girl became hostile, telling my friend he was harmless, and not to do or say anything to get him fired.
One Monday afternoon, after a grueling practice, I stayed behind to help a teammate to the locker-room. She had injured her ankle during practice. As we approached the field-house, my friend stopped.
"I think I'm going to skip a shower and head home. My ankle is killing me."
I said, "Okay, the parking lot is closer anyway."
We changed directions and headed toward the parking lot.
As we made our way closer to her car, my friend turned to me. "Thanks for helping me, Abbey."
"No problem."
Finally, we arrived next to her vehicle, and I helped her inside. "Can you drive home?"
"Yeah, I'll be alright."
I said goodbye and headed toward the field-house.
By the time I arrived, the locker-room was empty. Ignoring the warning in my heart, I undressed and headed toward the laundry-room for a towel.
Once inside, I grabbed a towel out of the dryer, and wrapped it around my body. Suddenly, I heard a noise in the shower area next door. Thinking one of my teammates had decided to wait for me, I felt better. I reached for the shower door.
Opening the door, I walked inside and turned on the light. The place was empty. I glanced around the room. No sign of the noise. I swallowed hard and headed for the shower stall.
I reached for my towel to undress. But before I could pull it away from me, I heard a man's voice speak softly.
"Abbey."
I freaked.
I quickly whirled around to see Matt leaning against the shower-stall entrance.
I screamed, "What are you doing here?"
He immediately started walking slowly toward me. "Waiting for you."
Something in his voice terrified me. I watched his eyes trace the outlines of my body. "Don't be afraid."
My voice quivering, I asked, "Why should I be?"
He seemed so huge compared to my 5'1" frame. The closer he got, the more terrified I became. I wanted to run, but I was petrified.
He kept smiling as he stopped in front of me. I instinctively lowered my head, at the same time sensing the panic creeping into my body. All of the signs - the deliberate stares, his excuses for showing up unannounced in the girls locker-room -- flashed through my mind. My body began to tremble. What would he do to me? Is this really happening?
Through my terror, I couldn't help but notice how hot he was. It angered me that I was actually getting turned on by him being there. I wasn't that type of girl.
Though I had experimented with boy friends - hand-jobs, being fingered, and that one blow-job at church camp - I had never had gone all the way with anyone, aside from my vibrator.
He reached out slowly, and tried to pull my towel away. I jerked it back and screamed, "Why are you doing this?"
He whispered, "Calm down. Everything's fine."
Slowly regaining my senses, I quickly turned and headed through the shower doors, choosing to ignore what had just happened.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hands reach for me. I tried to duck, but he was too fast. He forcefully grabbed both my arms, pulling them behind my back. I screamed and fought against his grip. He was too strong. He shoved me against a wall, and covered my mouth with his hand.
He ripped my towel away, revealing my nakedness. His hand slowly caressed my body, starting with my stomach. He moved his hand upwards, touching my face, rubbing his thumb over my chin. I could hear him whispering, "Abbey, you are so beautiful. I've wanted you since I first saw you at practice."
I whimpered through his hand, "Please don't!"
He picked me up with his other hand, and angled me against the wall, his hand tight over my mouth.
He whispered again, "You will enjoy this, I promise."
Holding me in place with one arm, he positioned my thighs against his hips, holding me against the wall. I could feel his cock pressing against my nakedness. He reached down and opened his zipper. My eyes were closed tight, and I began to whimper softly.
His free hand reached up and gently tweaked my nipple and then the other. He did this for several seconds - holding the tip between his index and middle fingers, and rubbing it with his thumb. I tried to scream again. But it came out a muffled groan behind his hand.
As he rubbed my nipple back and forth with ever-increasing pressure, I began to feel a faint warmth, as if it were being transferred from his hand to my breast. I shuddered. Within seconds, my nipples were hard. It was then that I started to hate myself. Why? Because I was actually enjoying this part.
He continued tweaking me, pinching my nipple between his fingers, and then rubbing it softly. The pinching was painful, but his soft caresses washed away the pain. He continued this as the warmth grew into a slow, deep heat. My reluctance began to fade.
Like an out-of-body experience, I watched as my neck arched upward. My eyes began to roll to the back of my head. I surprised myself with soft moans. I bit my lip. From somewhere deep inside, I heard a voice screaming, "Why are you enjoying this?" The voice repeated itself, demanding an answer. The longer I ignored it, the more faint it became.
He abandoned my nipple and started gently squeezing my tiny breast. He ran his hand across the nipple and squeezed. He repeated this several more times. A war between desire and terror raged inside of me.
He took his hands off of my mouth and gently grabbed my throat, his fingers wrapping all the way around to my neck. I had my chance to scream for help, but I forgot to. I could feel my defenses slipping away like an ice-cube on hot pavement.
As his hand left my breast, still red from his touch, I felt a sense of disappointment. I wanted him to keep touching me.
I curiously opened my eyes and watched as his hand reached down toward my crotch. A jerked slightly as the back of his hand grazed my stomach.
I became aware of how tiny I was nestled against his body. This made me even hotter. His body overwhelmed me. The circumference of his upper arm was almost as large as my waste. His hands were as large as my stomach.
As he reached my pubic hair, I flinched. I let out a rushed breath as his fingers teased and twisted the curly black hairs. I grabbed his shoulders, lifting myself away from his touch. He slowly moved down to my opening, his fingers covering my clit. A finger traced the outline of my pussy, causing me to jerk and shudder. My opening was only an inch wide, and the tip of his warm fingers covered it completely.
I didn't realize how moist I was until he pulled back the lips of my pussy. I felt the slippery substance seeping onto his fingertips. I convulsed in ecstasy.
Breathing heavily, I whispered, "Finger me."
He deliberately slid his fingertip between my lips, spreading the moisture onto the rest of his finger. He rubbed the length of my opening, causing me to seep even more. He slid it up and down, getting a little faster with each trip.
I found myself getting more and more frustrated as he teased me. Each time I thought he would plunge his finger inside of me. But he held back.
I whimpered, "Put it inside of me."