- 1 -
Roberto was killing time in his uncle's flower shop, tending the exotic plants he knew nothing about. The old florist had forbid him to water anything without supervision after the "massacre" that drowned half of the tulips last month. Roberto didn't know yet, but the tulips were meant for a most distinguished customer.
He flipped through a motorbike magazine, drooling over those beautiful imported models, when he heard a car outside. Roberto went out and saw a beautiful green sedan parked along the road. His uncle was already ahead of him. With his hands carrying a bundle of yellow tulips wrapped in white cotton, the old man looked like a page boy.
The back row window rolled down, and out reached a woman's small gloved hand. With a gentle flick of fingers she acknowledged the florist's presence. Then her palm stretched out, nonchalantly, as if to repossess something that was hers all along.
The florist handed the flowers over and had a chat with unseen passenger, a one-sided chat that saw him mostly nodding and beseeching. Roberto couldn't suffer his uncle. A hopeless royalist who's willing to lick any rich people's ass!
The window rolled back up and the car started off. The florist watched it go as if with a great sadness.
"Who was that?"
"That, young man, was the most distinguished person you'll ever see in this life."
The woman in the car was a certain Lady Delphine, who had just moved here not two weeks ago. Naturally Roberto had never heard of her, but she was a real countess and, when she was younger, used to be one of the most famous socialites in the capital. The old man lived there for three years and became an expert on its high culture ever since.
He proceeded to tell Roberto about the countess's lineage that stretched back for 800 years, and it swiftly bored him.
"Where does she live?"
"That large chateau to the south."
"I thought it had become home for vampires."
"How you like to jest! But you're not all wrong. No one had lived there for half a century since the war. The old earl fled to Brazil and never came back. But I heard it's been fixed up beautifully now. One day we should go and pay her ladyship a visit."
"Someone like her just doesn't sit well with plain folks like us."
"What do you know, rascal? Better stay in favor with the powerful people."
"I spit on those aristocrats."
"Heaven bid your tongue, youngster! Now get back to work."
Roberto threw his hands up and went into the shop.
But at night the young man dreamed of the countess. Somehow he was the one handing to flowers to her, and was invited to a lunch at her chateau. On the way in her green car, he turned to kiss her on the lips, which were adorned with rouge. She did not object, but encouraged his offense, and his hands was reaching deep into her fur coat...
- 2 -
The next day Roberto asked his uncle if Lady Delphine was good-looking.
"Why, certainly! She almost became our queen twenty years ago. The young prince was absolutely bewitched by her. All the newspapers said she was the one. But in the end he was forced to choose a political union, with a distant cousin, if I remember correctly. The countess never seemed to recover from that defeat."
How his uncle always remembered these pointless trivia by heart, Roberto thought. The florist continued:
"Sadly she has no children, and her great bloodline is threatened to come to an end, now that she is no longer young."
"How old is she?"
"No one knows for sure, but I bet she must be in her fifties now."
"Why doesn't she send a servant to get the flowers?"
"Well, imagine, lad, it must be awful dull alone in her big house. A ride in town will do much good to her health. Speaking of which, there's some orders you can help me with."
Roberto said goodbye to his uncle and rode on his bike to deliver the flowers. Frances the horse breeder had ordered again a huge batch of lavenders she thought her horses loved to sniff at and then eat. Some old women who rarely ventured out of their homes would prefer the fragrance of some gardenia.
He rode down the narrow country road absent-minded, humming a tune that he improvised. The fields on both sides stretched in the distance to the edge of woods. Not far ahead, there was a woman walking her dog. She looked somewhat out of place with her black hair loose over her shawl and a pair of tan leather boots.
It must be one of those tourists, he thought, staying at a country inn and enjoying the rustic scenery. As he rode closer he could see her face. She had a prominent nose and looked weary yet mesmerizing at the same time. It was cold out there and her cheeks were red like a countrywoman. He slowed down in front of her.
"Morning, madame."
The woman gave a curt reply. She took notice of the bagged flowers on his bike. "Are you from the flower shop?"
"Oui, madame. Do you often come to our place?"
"You have excellent tulips."
"My uncle will be so happy to hear this. He spent his whole life taking care of his flowers."
"That is lovely."
"Isn't it? Wait, I have something for you--" He reached into the bag to take a few of those purple bushes meant for Frances's horses and handed it to the woman.
"I cannot take this."
"Please, madame, think of it as a gift!"
The Pomeranian wanted to play with him, but its owner held the leash tight.
"It's alright, I mean, Frances' horses won't notice a few missing, they'll just chew them to pieces in a minute..."
Roberto immediately realized the mistake he made. The woman's face frowned.
"A pleasure to meet you, young man."
She lowered her head and walked on without looking at him again.
Roberto cursed as he rode on. "You log head! Never know when to be proper and discreet!"
He played out the scenario in his head for a few more times thinking how he could have saved the situation, then it suddenly dawned on him that the stranger was probably Lady Delphine, who had ordered a bundle of tulips yesterday morning.
- 3 -
That evening Roberto had a most bizarre dream.
He was on his bike delivering the flowers again, when he ran into the countess with her Pomeranian. After the same exchange he searched for the flowers in his bag for a gift. When he looked up again, Roberto saw the countess had become naked. She parted her legs, wearing only her tan boots, and her hands were aggressively flirting her sex:
"Stick it up my cunt!" Her voice was cold, almost like a military order.
He threw down his bike and ran away, but the woman had set the dog loose on him, and the little devil chased him at his heels on a road that never seemed to end. When he woke up his bed was soaked with sweat, and his legs hurt as if he had just run a marathon.
"That bitch is driving me crazy!" He cursed.
That day Roberto skipped work, much to his uncle's dismay, and met up with Lucas, who was a friend of his. Lucas used to be a member of a small guerrilla but had since become an unhappy plumber. He had a white van fit with all of his tools. They got in it and drove to the nearest spot where they could get some weed.
It was clear as day that Lucas was not in a good shape. He told Roberto about some fight with his girlfriend Martha and how he had slept on the couch for an entire week.
"Stupid cunt! But it's her apartment, so what can I do? This farce will blow over once she finds something else to be angry about!"
"That's fucked up alright."
Lucas heard this and smiled with satisfaction.
"So Luke, I know this might sound weird, but do you know much about that new countess in town?"
Fortune must have smiled upon Roberto, for Lucas not only knew her, but he had an appointment this afternoon at her place.
"It was her butler. Said they're gonna hold a party tonight, some fancy shit, but things aren't working properly. Said I 'must fix it.'"
"Screw those entitled people."
"Hell yeah! I say screw them too. But they pay good money. A big house like that always needs fixing. I say it's good for business."
"But money isn't everything, Luke. It's always us hardworking and them laying back and enjoying our work. I bet that countess thinks we're all some filthy peasants. We should make her pay for real, you know what I'm saying?"
"Not sure but I'm listening--"
"Luke, this is the real thing. A freaking countess! We'll have her noble ass and it'll be a service to our country - viva la revolucion!"
The salute was sudden but calculated. Roberto saw that his words pulled the right string in Lucas's heart. The underground rebel immediately threw his fists in the air and saluted with him, letting the wheel run its own course, and almost drove into a roadside ditch.
"What a coward I have been these days! You're a real rebel, Roberto. Roberto the Rebel! Hah! I can see you as a colonel in no time. The revolution will reignite with this coup and spread through the continent! But we'll need more hands. The chateau could be heavily guarded!"
Lucas' military planning went into an overdrive, and soon Roberto began to lose interest.
