Some transitions between relationships can be smooth, with nice long gaps of healing and getting over your ex. Sometimes it's a lot more complicated than that. David had broken my heart one too many times with his commitment issues, and though I said I was done and got back on tinder, I still cared for him deeply.
I only meant to get on Tinder to get over my anxiety about first dates, but surprisingly, I found someone who I truly liked, maybe even loved, and who felt the same about me. Unfortunately, I still had feelings to work through with David, who desperately wanted me back.
My relationship with David was always kinky and possessive, in fact that's how we started. With just a little BDSM amongst friends to relieve some tension. It quickly became more than that. All our darkest desires aligned, and soon he was choking me until I lost consciousness will fucking me from behind and whispering in my ear that he could kill me if he wanted at any moment. And I loved every moment of it. He was territorial and violent, but only in ways that felt good. But there were too many emotional wounds to heal from, so I had to step away.
Adam was just as kinky in all the same ways, and was similarly bisexual. I suppose I have a type. I told him of all my woes with David, and he understood that I was still working through those feelings. He understood I was still deciding between them in a way, and was completely comfortable with my planning to meet with David one last time to get everything out on the table and get some closure. And break it to him I was dating someone else now. Even if it wasn't official, it was butter to say it was and make a clean cut. I wasn't excited. I was acutely aware of a dark hickey on my neck as well that David would NOT like. I tried to cover it with my hair.
It was nearly midnight when I met David at the park. I lived at home and he lived with his ex still, so we were used to sneaking around here. I sighed knowing it wouldn't be fun this time.
I parked and got into the passenger seat of his car. I had been trying so hard to convince myself I was over him, but my body melted just a touch when I saw him regardless. Just a touch taller than me and slender, his long pale fingers gripped the steering wheel. Memories came flooding back of those hands around my throat. Of those hands inside of me... I tried to push those thoughts away. I was with Adam now.
A shock of straight black spilled down his face, concealing his eyes from my view.
"You're dating someone else."
It wasn't a question, but a statement.
"How did you know?"
"I just do."
"I...I still have feelings for you. Strong ones. And he knows that too I just... You know we can't be together anymore. I'm sorry."
His muscles tensed but he sat in silence. He jerked his head to look at me. Those eyes. He looked sad and desperate but also... Hungry.
It was a look I'd seen many times before, and it made me shift in my seat and my cheeks felt hot. I hoped he didn't notice. But his eye twitched. And something dark fell across them.
"I probably don't want to know the answer but I have to ask... What have you done with him so far?"
He was staring directly at me, his breathing heavy, knuckles still white against the steering wheel.
"Not that much sheesh. I haven't even seen.. It ya know..." I avoided his gaze but I could feel it boring a hole into my burning cheeks.
"Has he seen you?"
"...Yes."
"..And has he touched you?"
