After hanging up the call and walking Montana, Jasmine winds down in the last hour of her 3-2-1 bedtime ritual. Three hours before her 11pm bedtime, she stops eating and only drinks water. Two hours before bedtime, she puts away any work and tries not to think about it. At 10pm, she puts away any screens.
This includes refraining from texting her boyfriend, Ryan. He only lives 20 minutes away, and they see each other at least once a day, but, since the 6 months from their first date, she's been completely smitten. Even though she just hung up from a call with him, they text each other good night.
"Sleep well baby," she reads from him, smiling to herself.
"I can't wait to see you after work tomorrow," she responds.
Her final hour is dedicated to herself. It consists of a shower, full body moisturizing, music, and reading or writing until her eyes inevitably get heavy with sleep. She puts on music, the only exception to the no-screen rule. Tonight she's feeling some Bad Bunny and reggae for her shower.
With the music playing, she strips down and turns on the water as she steps into it. The cold shocks her, bringing goosebumps all over her body. She holds back a moan from the discomfort, but she stays in the water because she's a tree hugger at heart, living in the desert, and she doesn't want to waste water.
Besides, she thinks, remembering an article she read, cold showers are good for you. Something about clearing the mind or being like an ice bath.
She also remembers cold showers having a reputation to calm people's sexual desires, but this shower wasn't doing that for her. The pain of the cold excited her. Anyway, now the warm water was flowing, and she shampoos her hair and scrubs her body, lathering quickly because she really didn't like to waste water. The only time she allows herself a little more water than necessary to flow down is when she's rinsing thoroughly, closing her eyes, running her fingers through her hair and body. With Bad Bunny's song playing, her hips instinctually sway to the music. People sing in the shower. Jasmine dances in the shower.
After showering and drying, she moisturizes with a Kate Mcleod body stone her best friend, Kay, had gifted her, rubbing the lotion bar all over her body, enjoying the smell of the bar and the softness of her skin. The cocoa butter makes her oily for the night, but her skin is always extra supple through the next day.
Jasmine created this bedtime ritual with Kay 8 months ago, on one Molly-fueled night of a soul-searching weekend at a beach house. Kay was going through a break-up, so Jasmine drove 3 hours from a desert town in southern California to Los Angeles to whisk her away from the drama. The girls talked about their futures through dreams and goals and reflections. Independence was something they valued and sleep was something they both lacked in their foundation, so they made a plan to solve their lack of sleep and to maintain their independence.
Though she was missing Ryan, Jasmine used this hour to distract herself from missing
him, never wanting to be codependent on anyone.
But if I were to be codependent on anyone, it could be him, she finds herself thinking while she is snuggled under the covers with her notebook out, a pen in her hands, and her lamp on a timer. She's on her stomach, ready to write in her notebook about her day or check in about her dreams.
She starts to think about Ryan's strong arms and wishes she was in them. Jasmine wants to reach for her phone to check if he's maybe texted but reminds herself of her own rule. Instead, she lets herself remember their last encounter and writes down her thoughts, needing a release.
____________
It was a day they were working from home together at her place. He was on the couch working on his laptop, and she came over from her desk to sit next to him. She couldn't resist planting kisses on his cheek, seeking his attention.
"Break?" Jasmine suggested. "I just finished 4 hours of meetings. Cuddle me."
"Give me 30 more minutes. I want to finish this review," he said, placating her by kissing her on the cheek.
"No. It's been four hours of no cuddling," she argued, pulling his hands away from his keyboard.
"Behave," he commanded, not taking his eyes off his work.
Jasmine grinned. They both knew that word just made her all the more disobedient and that it made her want him more. He internally knew he messed up, but he was so close to finishing his review of his intern's code. She kept kissing him and whispering "cuddle me" while he ignored her and her hands that were unbuttoning his shirt. After maybe 3 minutes of her kisses getting more and more aggressive on his face, ear, and neck, he sighed and accepted she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He was a little annoyed with Jasmine's relentless requests for his attention, but her soft kisses and naughty hands made him hard. His erection was starting to push uncomfortably against the warming laptop through his pants. Exasperated, he stood up and set down his laptop gently on the coffee table, reasoning he could let his laptop cool down at least while he prepared for a better work environment.
Hopeful that he was going to give her attention, Jasmine started telling him about how her meetings were all going over time. He didn't pay attention, knowing there was one thing that would shut her up when she got like this. He turned her around to face the couch and groped her from behind, mauling her tits with one hand and pulling down her shorts with the other.
Jasmine whined, wishing for cuddles, but she didn't make an effort to pull her shorts back up. Doing her best to not let it show how much she wanted what was about to happen, she continued to ask him for cuddles.
"Ryan, baby, I just want to cuddle," she cooed, with her head over her shoulder looking innocently at him.