Many thanks to Kitty Pain for first editing and improving this story and to Treasure Townes for further help.
Ramona was sick to death of anal.
Every night: anal anal anal.
When she married Ralph, she knew he was a good salesman and proud of his persistence. He bragged that he never gave up, but she once made him show her his call reports and proved to him that though he closed more than ninety per cent of the time, even he couldn't sell every customer.
That was one of the hundreds of ways she tried to convince him that no matter what he said, what he promised, what he bought her or where he took her, she was never going to do anal.
************
When they were dating, before he proposed, he had tried once to go there. She had apologized to him the next day for biting, scratching, screaming and somehow managing to pick his body up and throw it off the bed before running out of his apartment so fast she didn't stop to zip up her skirt.
She patiently explained she would never give her ass to anyone -- not him, not a handsome movie star that she might fantasize about, not anyone.
She admitted that maybe he was right. Maybe she had been brainwashed into believing that organ was for one purpose only. But she wasn't going to spend good money on a psychologist to get over her hang-up. She was holding onto her phobia, and he needed to accept that.
Despite her declaration, Ralph kept trying to convince her. It exasperated her so much that a week before the wedding, she told him she was ready to call it off. She asked him to go home and think hard about what he really wanted.
The next day, he told her that though he hoped she would someday change her mind, he would drop the subject because he loved her, anal or not.
************
For a while, he left her alone. But after a few years, he started bringing it up again. At first, he only mentioned it occasionally, but gradually he brought it up constantly, to the point where it drove her to distraction.
She found herself starting to anticipate his persuasion even before he started in. She pleaded, begged, insulted and screamed, but nothing slowed his anal lobbying. She put more effort than ever into sex and got to the point where she had no problem inserting a finger into him. She even let him stick a finger into her ass and controlled her urge to throw up.
*********
One day, she was thinking about how much of her time was spent on anal. It intruded into her thoughts while she was at work, with friends, cooking, watching television and reading a book.
She was walking in the park and saw a man shaking his leg trying to dislodge a dog who was dry-humping him. Like a bolt out of the blue, it came to her that her problem wasn't Ralph's fault at all. It was hers.
Ralph was like a dog who couldn't control his animal impulses. He needed to be trained, but she was letting him run wild. She was enabling him.
Her realization stimulated her imagination, and ideas came flooding into her mind. She quickly walked home, went to her office, took a piece of paper and started writing them down. They were coming so fast that she could barely keep up. When they finally slowed, her hand hurt, but her head felt clear, as if she had just gotten over a cold.
She looked at her notes. Some of them were so bizarre that she was astonished at herself. How had those ideas ever entered her head?
She laughed as she started crossing them off her list. Some of the craziest ones would have sent her to prison. But she was glad she wrote them down, because they showed her how deep her feelings ran. She realized that the survival of their marriage might depend on her controlling Ralph's obsession.
She also crossed out many ideas she might have gotten away with. Some of them would have turned Ralph into a zombie and some would have meant she would have no children with him.
As she narrowed the list, she stopped at an idea that was far-fetched but so appropriate that she had to see if it was possible.
For the next two weeks, she spent every spare minute making calls, meeting people and visiting businesses. But she enjoyed it, because she was no longer frustrated. The more she worked on her goal, the happier she became.
When Ralph would start in on his anal marketing campaign, she no longer rebuked him. She just smiled. Soon this would be over. He smiled back and thought he was making progress.
On his own, he decided to move more slowly now that she seemed less upset. He would only mention anal if he saw some positive indicators that might lead to success on a given night. He asked about her day and about her job and listened hard to see if she was in a good mood.
She was so absorbed in her preparations that she didn't notice his new strategy, and when she was ready, she became frustrated. Her plans would be set into motion the next time he brought the subject up, but he didn't. Did she go through all that work for nothing?
For two days, she was upset, but on the third day, she woke up and gave herself a talking-to. Why should she care what caused Ralph to stop tormenting her? She needed to relax. Even though she had spent a lot of time on her plan, at least she was saving the money she would have spent on it.
That night she was all smiles and whistled happily while making dinner. Ralph decided she must have had a good day and was in a receptive mood. He waited until they were almost done with dinner before he brought it up, and he didn't make it blatant. He thought he was just slipping it smoothly into their conversation.
From her startled reaction, he knew that his soft-soap effort hadn't worked, but then she gave him a broad smile. He smiled back at her.
"Ralph," she said, "you've finally made me realize how important this is to you, so I'm going to give you anal."
"Oh Ramona! You don't know --"
"Hush, Ralph, and listen. I've told you a thousand times that no man is ever going to shove his thing in my ass. It's nothing against you. Think of it as a law of nature that applies today, tomorrow and the rest of my life.
"But I know you want anal so much that you are willing to break the promise you made to me before we were married. Even though I'm not happy about it, I've decided to give you a one-night hall pass.
"My hope is that afterward you will never bring it up again. I've arranged everything, and I'll even be there watching.
"Maybe you're thinking that once I see you do it with someone else, I'll realize it's not that bad and will give in some day. I promise you that's not going to happen, but I am going to have a video made so you can watch it whenever you want to.
"I hope your anal on Saturday will put an end to the subject and we can move forward. If my plan doesn't work, well, it can't get any worse than it is right now.
"Yes, this is happening Saturday night at one of those places where men pay to watch women have sex with other men or women. The men sit behind a glass wall. They talk to the sex workers though a microphone and tell them what they want to see. They can hear every sound on the other side of the glass, or they can choose music."
Her eyes were closed as she spoke, but now she opened them and saw Ralph's mouth hanging open in amazement. He began to say something, but she spoke again before he could get a word out.
"Don't ask any questions. I'm not telling you anything else. Saturday night is two days away, and the subject is closed until then."
She saw Ralph was ready to explode from curiosity. That night and the next and all day Saturday, she saw him sneaking looks at her. He was dying to say something, but he wasn't going to jeopardize his opportunity.
**************
The place she had picked was in a slightly seedy area near downtown, with a gaudy neon sign out front. There was a parking lot on the side with a security guard.
Once they walked through the front entrance, Ralph saw that the interior was clean, sleek and modern. A woman in a business suit led them down a hall and into a room with a bed and nothing else in it. Ralph wondered how much Ramona was paying for this.
The bed was in the middle of the small room. It was high, just above stomach level for him. The room was barely larger than the bed so when he walked around it, he often rubbed against the wall or the bed. The wall was padded with spongy foam. Ramona explained the set-up.
"There are video cameras embedded in the walls and ceiling all around the room," she said. "The bed is high to make it easy for the girls."
"Girls?" asked Ralph, astonished.
"Down, Ralph! You only get one anal. I mean the two videographers who are going to walk around the bed filming close-ups. As you can see, there's barely enough space for them to move.
"Once they're in here, there's no danger of anyone falling. If it gets so wild that bodies are flying, they will bounce off the wall and back onto the bed. If someone is close to the edge, one of the girls will move over to block the body before it can slide off the bed.
"The lighting will be dim and moody at the beginning like it is now. I'll be controlling it. Once I see the action is starting, I'll make everything super bright, like this, so the high definition videos will come out crystal clear.
"The speakers are up on the ceiling. I've picked 'Stairway to Heaven' first because it starts softly, but about halfway through, it gets really loud and frantic. Then it's 'Purple Haze,' 'Free Bird,' 'Layla' and 'Won't Get Fooled Again.' I timed them out, and that should be long enough.
"I'll be watching from behind this glass wall. You can set the lighting so the glass looks black and the sex workers can't see the men watching them. But I told them to light up my room so you'll be able to look over and see me watching you.
"Oh, one more thing. To make the video more interesting, you're going to have to earn your anal by catching Terry. The space around the bed is so narrow that it shouldn't take long. Terry gets a bonus for every minute eluding you. Take off your sandals and give them to me. You'll be able to run faster without them.
