I force myself upon my girlfriend about twice a month.
Such a statement sounds so cruel and negative I am obliged to explain it. Ours isn't a common situation and the explanation is quite lengthy. But I want to write about it, as I believe explaining the details will help me feel a little less guilty about the most exciting sexual relationship of my life.
My girlfriend's name is Lisa. Lisa and I met about eighteen months ago. I think most relationships like ours, serious dating relationships, begin in much the same way. We met at a party and found each other there because our circles of friends overlapped. We got to know each other at that party, and I asked her out. We dated for a couple of months before progressing to an exclusive relationship. About eight months ago, she moved in with me when her lease ended.
She's is personable and friendly and we're very compatible. She works a little bit too much, just like I do. While I work as a process engineer at an oil refinery, she works as a bartender at a hotel near the airport. The hotel has a wonderful restaurant, and her bar is in that restaurant.
Lisa has been bartending at that hotel for years, earning a few regular customers—including businessmen who commute to our city for their work. I'm always impressed by her tip take, though it doesn't surprise me that she gets along well with her customers. Her outgoing and upbeat personality is just as attractive to me as it must be to the bar patrons.
In addition to that work she is also taking a few classes towards becoming a doctor of veterinary medicine. Her progress has been slow, but it accumulates steadily and she's always just a little closer to her goal.
I keep busy at work, since my responsibilities are all over the refinery. If you live within a couple hundred miles of our town, you probably put my gasoline in your car. If you've ever flown into or out of the airport near the hotel that hosts Lisa's bar, the one that serves our city, your airplane has been serviced by a truck carrying jet fuel or aviation gas from my refinery.
We're very happy together, and I've thought of asking Lisa to marry me. The subject hasn't come up yet, though, at least not seriously. But I suppose I'll do it, as the time we have had in our relationship together has been enjoyable, constructive, pleasant, and fun.
We frequently enjoy sex together. Lisa is a beautiful woman, just turning 25 last month. She's a little more than a year younger than I, and will probably tease me about the apparent two year difference in our age until my birthday in the fall.
Her hair is a medium brown color. Ending well past her shoulders, it's a little longer than that of most women I've previously dated. Her grey eyes are bright and wide, setting off her dark complexion and hair like a spark in the forest.
Lisa's lips are thick and soft, but not obscenely puffy like some of the actresses you see these days. Her nose is just a bit big and she's very self-conscious of it, but I think it matches her wide eyes and full lips perfectly. Her face is broad and bright, balanced and warm.
My girlfriend's body is a delight. She's a bit petite, standing about five-feet, four inches and having a very slight build. Her shoulders are proportionally broad and her chest is very ample for her body size. Her breasts aren't exactly large, but are very plump and wide, forming a wonderful cleavage, particularly under her broad shoulders and thin frame. For some of our formal dates, she has worn an off-the-shoulder dress that she fills wonderfully. When aroused, her soft conical areolas crinkle into hard rubbery points.
I'm sometimes worried that I actually worship her pussy. Lisa's keeps herself trimmed neatly, though not completely shaved. Her tiny opening has thick and soft folds, pink and sweetly scented. She gets wet at the drop of a hat. Once, when I went away on business, she came to pick me up at the airport and refused to get out of the car at the curb. As we drove away, she showed me why; in anticipation of my arrival, she had made a rather visible damp spot in her jeans!
All the things I wanted for myself, wanted to give to someone else, are almost fully realized in our relationship.
Almost fully, I say, because I've sometimes found that my sexual appetite is slightly larger than Lisa's. At least slightly larger, and maybe substantially larger. Or a little bit more diverse, or perhaps just a little bit more aggressive. Maybe it's just that I am more dominant, or more exploratory. We have grown comfortable together, and are sometimes too distracted or busy or tired to properly satisfy each other.
However the difference would best be described, and whatever its cause, it is certain that my physical attraction for her at times is almost overwhelming while my ability to demonstrate my carnal desire for her seems at least limited.
Having an incredibly attractive live-in girlfriend flaunt herself in front of me, often without even realizing it, builds my libido to a tremendous pressure. I started secretly masturbating when she was working late, but soon became frustrated with that. My desires have begun to gain momentum and they often exceed my ability to keep them in check.
Perhaps I'm lying to myself about it, and it's really just that I'm too weak. Or that I see no reason to deny myself what I want, or deny myself what I already have. Whatever the explanation, the disparity between my sex drive and Lisa's has caused me to force myself upon her.
The first time I had my way with her was about four months ago. Lisa woke up a little late, and ended up rushing into the bathroom while I was shaving. She told me that she needed to make a meeting with her advisor at school, and that she had forgotten it last night so she hadn't set her alarm. Now that she remembered the appointment, she felt lucky to have woken up. If she hurried, she told me, she would probably still make the meeting.
While I finished shaving, she showered. By the time I was done cleaning up, she was finished with her shower. Completely nude and leaning slightly forward over the counter in the bathroom to apply her makeup, I studied her body hungrily. I think we hadn't had sex for about a week at that time, and simply viewing her soft, toned body in a slightly provocative posture and made me physically aroused almost immediately.
After toweling off, I walked behind her and pressed my erection into the cleft of her ass. She smiled at me in the mirror, and leaned back as I hugged her and kissed her shoulder.
"I'd love to play," she said. "But I'm late."
"So be a little late," I said. I almost told her that it wouldn't take long, that I'd be happy to give her a pounding and send her on her way. Instead, I tried to build her interest by caressing her sides. She leaned back into me, closing her eyes, until I touched her breasts.
"No," she said, snapping to attention. "I have to get to the administration building for my meeting, and parking there is terrible."
Despite her excuses, I felt as though she was being a little less than truthful. She might not otherwise want to play, as she put it. Though I might have been too harshly judging her, just thinking of her not wanting to execute on an opportunity to have sex made me feel at least slightly resentful.
I didn't say anything. Instead, I leaned back a bit and pressed my erection down so it was now between her legs, pushing up against her pussy. Leaning forward again, I collected her in my arms and pressed my hips towards her.
"You're relentless, Joe! I really have to make it to this meeting."
