"I hear you," Octavia said for the hundredth time, trying hard to keep the frustration out of her voice. "You want to go to the police and report the asshole that did this, too. And if I had his name or a phone number I'd--"
"No, you're not hearing me. You're not." she interrupted. Despite the tension in the conversation she made no move to leave her roommate's arms as they snuggled together in Octavia's bed. She'd rarely slept alone since that night, and though she understood why Christine feared the dark now, Octavia was desperate for a night or two alone. "I know that they won't catch him, but shouldn't we at least get what we know out there so he won't do this to anyone else? Maybe we aren't the only victims?"
"I'm sure we aren't. I get the feeling he plays these games with lots of women, so that might have led him to believe that everything that happened was consensual. It was just a game that went way too far and involved you", Octavia lied. That had been the cover story she'd used with her roommate since the morning she'd freed Christine from the duct tape. It was all just a sick game that she'd started by accident with a stranger online, and she'd make sure it never happened again. That was a much easier explanation to sell than 'an online weirdo that found me in rape forums tracked me down and forced me to become his accomplice after he was done using me against my will.' Octavia would love nothing more than to testify at that monster's trial, but she had nothing on him, so any guilt that was found would be hers alone to bear.
"I know, but--" Christine started.
"No buts.", Octavia corrected, playfully flicking her roommate's butt as she said it. "I told you that if he reached out again and slipped up I'd send it all to the police and let them sort it out, but so far that hasn't happened yet. Please try to get a little sleep now. You know I have to get to the clinic early tomorrow."
"Alright," Christine said. She was only agreeing to try to get some sleep though. Octavia could tell. Tomorrow night or the night after she'd bring it all up again. It was an endless cycle, and it had been since the night it happened. Ironically her roommate was the hardest part of putting the whole thing behind her. She would have thought that her own personal trauma from being raped by a stranger, who was trying to breed her, but that had faded almost as soon as her pregnancy test and STD panel had come back negative. In place of those worries there was nothing but an ache to try that scenario again with a lover she actually wanted to fuck. Even the guilt of what she'd done to poor Min hadn't stuck around as long as Christine's anguish, and she was the only one who hadn't actually been raped.
It actually bothered Octavia quite a bit that her complicity with Min didn't bother her more. Not just because she'd done something horrible to a sweet, innocent stranger, but because she enjoyed it. If Christine wasn't in this bed right now she'd probably be masturbating to that night again right now. She'd tried to stop of course. Many times. She'd been mostly successful too, until her rapist had sent her that little present.
She'd received the plain brown package in the mail a few days after the incident. Inside was nothing but a microSD card and an internet enabled toy. She'd resisted watching it for a whole hour before she finally turned it on, only for it to turn her on more than she had thought possible. That asshole had planted a couple of Go Pros in the corners of the room while she'd been at the gay bar and he'd stitched together a highlight reel of that terrible night for her viewing pleasure. It had made her sick, but not so sick that she'd been able to resist cumming three times on her first viewing. So she'd managed to resist the temptation to install the toy's app on her phone, but she'd certainly thought about it. The idea of letting her partner in crime molest her from who knows where while she watched the worst thing she'd ever done was intoxicating.
She could thank Christine for that much at least. Octavia probably would have given in by now if it wasn't for her constant presence. Instead she sublimated her overflowing sexuality into taking selfies and tit pics in the bathroom at work. She'd steered away from the darker subreddits her old account was focused on, and found more wholesome outlets for her exhibitionist urges in gonewild and its galaxy of offshoots. As much as she wanted it not to be true, being an online rape slut just wasn't very safe. As she drifted off to sleep she promised herself she'd find a normal guy to hold her down and say awful things sometime soon on tinder or something. God knew she needed a good dicking.
...
In the end it didn't take long to find a man that promised to scratch her very particular itch. She hadn't even needed to resort to Tinder. Instead over the last week she'd struck up a conversation with a man she'd met on her new safe but not safe for work account on reddit. He'd stood out from a field of simps that were telling her how pretty she was with nothing more than an off handed comment that 'her tits would be a whole lot prettier if they had a bite mark and a bruise or two to decorate them.' It was almost instant chemistry after that and she'd found a little time between each part of her already busy life to flirt with him. He sent her pictures, and his bearded face and broad shoulders were almost as sexy as his words were, but that wasn't even the best part. The best part was that when she hinted she wasn't looking to date so much as play out a few fantasies he didn't freak out. He just asked if she wanted him to find her on a jogging trail or if she expected him to sneak into her apartment building.
After that he was the first man to replace her rapist in the reoccuring fantasies she'd been cumming to on the rare nights she was alone in her bed. In her mind, he was big and strong, and though she managed to put up at least a little bit of a fight, he always forced her down with those big strong hands and he had his way with her. She doubted she'd do as well in real life, but it was hot all the same. They'd eventually agreed on a night after a late shift at work. She'd be getting off a shift just after midnight, and where she parked her car was already pretty sketchy. The lot she parked her car in was poorly lit and would probably be empty except for her Prius.
Octavia had often imagined that it would be the easiest thing in the world for a man to appear out of the shadows, pin her to the wall, and fuck her hard whether she wanted it or not. She'd never had a boyfriend to try it out with, but if this guy could fuck half as well as he could talk, that might just change. She thought that setting up a night like this would make things in her crazy life start to come together, but once they'd set that date nothing she did could take the edge off. All her toys and fingers did was remind her that they were nothing but a pale shadow of the dick that had forced its way into her body, and that no fantasy could match the fear and the danger that a real partner could inflict on her.
By the time the scheduled day rolled around she spent half her shift worrying that a planned encounter like this would be just as disappointing. That, without the real fear of a stranger taking advantage of her, she might never have the orgasm she craved again. One of her coworkers even commented that she was acting like a zombie, but Octavia just laughed it off and told her she hadn't been getting enough sleep. It was true enough. She might as well have told her that she had a hot date after work, but she didn't trust herself not to slip up while she was trying to turn her planned CNC encounter into a normal sounding date. 'How did we meet?' -That's easy - 'We both thought my tits would look better with a few bruises.' She laughed to herself at the thought. That wouldn't be weird at all.
It turned out that she didn't have to worry though. The moment she stepped outside and the steel security door closed behind her, the fear that this was going to be a terrible disappointment evaporated, and was replaced by a much worse fear: the fear that he was already here. She could practically feel him, watching her like a predator watches its prey before it attacks. She could feel his hunger, and it made her pause for a moment to steady herself as she tried to decide if she should call this whole thing off. If she could call it off, she admonished herself. Anyone willing to arrange something crazy like this probably wouldn't take a rain check.
