Total Career Wipeout

All characters involved in the following story are over eighteen. Please note that this is a work of fiction set in the near future, is not based on any real persons or TV shows, and certainly not intended to excuse acts of non-consensual sex under any circumstances. Do not read on if you are likely to be offended by explicit material, black humour or bad puns!

(from News Nightly, 20th September:)

One year ago we interviewed Tammy Shoeburn, spokeswoman for "Studies Not Studs", a protest group which seeks to highlight the problems facing today's generation of university students, in particular the role played by the controversial gameshow "Total Career Wipeout". Tammy revisited to our offices this week to bring the story up to date, accompanied by fellow campaigner Sharon Glattimmer.

(NN): "So Tammy, why have you come to talk to us again today?"

(Tammy): "Well, firstly I want to set the record straight. After our last interview, the media seemed intent on labelling "Studies Not Studs" as some sort of feminist organisation purely concerned with the plight of female students. I'd just like to make it clear, we're well aware the boys are facing an equally tough time and we're doing all we can to help them too."

(NN): "I hate to say it, but so far it seems as if all your campaigning hasn't improved the basic situation for women students?"

(Tammy): "Hey, we are fighting against the tide here. These days undergraduates have a constant struggle to scrape together enough cash to cover their tuition fees, and the results are plain to see if you visit the venues where they work in the evenings. At the lap-dancing clubs, for example, the competition for tips has become shockingly aggressive - it's no exaggeration to say the girls are thrusting their crotches in the punters' faces the minute they step through the door! Virtually every night of the week, these ladies are pushing their bodies just as hard as they're pushing their brains during the day. In fact you could say that today, the girls are outstripping the guys - academically and literally!"

(NN): "So, if you're still struggling to make a difference to female students' circumstances, how do you now expect to help the guys?"

(Tammy): "Look, there's a lot of support we offer. For example, we provide counselling for young men who need it. In common with most of their female colleagues, these guys are often working as strippers in Chippendale-type clubs in order to pay their fees. But at that age, they're often mentally unprepared for what they encounter: having to strip to your skin in front of a horde of baying, lust-crazed women is actually quite intimidating for a lad of just 19 or 20 years old!"

(NN): "I can imagine! So perhaps you could tell us about a case where your counselling has been effective?"

(Tammy): "Oh, I'm afraid all our sessions are strictly confidential, sorry."

(NN): "But surely you can recount just one instance where you've made a real difference to a student's life?"

(Tammy): "Well... er... Sharon, how about the first time you visited our offices? That was a resounding success, as I recall - and there's no problem with confidentiality, since you weren't actually a member of staff at the time..."

(Sharon): "Seriously? But - but that wasn't really a formal session, I thought -"

(Tammy): "Oh, don't worry, it'll be fine as long as we don't use real names!" Tammy waved her away her colleague's misgivings and turned back to me: "Anyway, the case concerned an 18-year-old student - I'll call him Sam - who'd recently started work at the strip venue "Dreemstudz". He was a good-looking young man and had already proved a hit with the office workers and hen parties who frequented the club.

"Then one night, things got out of hand. The place had been hired for a charity fundraiser, so the regular doormen weren't on duty. During Sam's act, two drunken lasses got up on stage; a more experienced performer might have handled the situation better but, before Sam knew what was happening, they'd grabbed him and yanked down his G-string. Not wanting to start a riot, he just stood there while both ladies fell to their knees, seized him by the hips and took turns performing fellatio. Despite his best efforts it all proved too much and, with the crowd screaming encouragement, he shot his entire load down one customer's gasping throat!

"After that, Sam's confidence around women was shattered. The fact that literally hundreds of leering ladies had witnessed his loss of control with two strangers had left him very perturbed. In desperation, he came to us and related his sorry tale, describing the vivid flashbacks he'd suffered since that night, how the experience had prevented him from going back to work at the club and even resulted in a break-up with his girlfriend, when she found out!

"And so we came up with a plan: one of our team would infiltrate the charity group to discover the identities of the two ladies involved, and then contrive for them to visit our offices, where Sam would be waiting. Thus we were able to bring the perpetrators - Sharon here, and her friend Jacqui - face to face with their victim in the hope that everyone could come to terms with what had happened."

(NN): "Sounds like a risky strategy!"

(Tammy): "Yes, but I was convinced it was the only way forward; and as it turned out, Jacqui and Sharon were very keen to help as soon as they saw Sam's predicament."

(Sharon): "Well, it was actually kind of embarrassing! The truth is, we'd both had a few drinks that night and neither of us could recall events too clearly; it was only when Jacqui laid eyes on Sam again that she remembered exactly what we'd done to him!"

(Tammy): "Yeah, the atmosphere was rather awkward at first. But then, out of the blue, Sharon came up with a winning idea: since they'd both already seen Sam naked, she proposed the rest of us should take our clothes off too, to "get everyone on the same level" as she put it. It was a stroke of genius - though I wasn't too keen on participating myself! So as Jacqui began plucking at the buttons of her blouse, I retreated to my office next door to let the three of them continue their discussion in private."

(NN): "So Sharon, how did the meeting go?"

(Sharon): "Gosh, I really didn't think we were going to discuss this today! Well, I thought it went very well... I do think getting everybody naked was an important initial step, to remove the barriers between us, although I guess it came as something of a surprise to Sam - normally, that's his job!

"From my nurse's training I knew a little about counselling, and realised this was no time for half-measures. I declared that nobody was leaving that room until we'd achieved a satisfactory outcome; I think Sam understood then that he was in for the long haul. It was a struggle - I mean, you're always up against a big obstacle when you try and get guys to talk about their feelings - but I knew that to help Sam I'd have to be completely open with him and take him fully into my confidence. Of course, it wasn't long before Jacqui insisted I should "hand over the baton" to her, because she wanted to take him fully into her confidence as well."

(Tammy): "I have to confess I was a bit concerned by the raised voices coming from the conference room; it sounded like you guys clashed rather badly to begin with?"

(Sharon): "Oh, that was our fault, I'm afraid! It was only when Jacqui and I properly engaged with Sam that we fully appreciated the size of his problem, and its sensitivity. That was a real eye-opener for us; but we soon learned to relax around him."

(NN): "So it was all a matter of trust, then?"

(Sharon): "Er - yeah, we showed Sam that if he would trust in me and Jacqui, we would trust back in equal measure. Mutual trusting was really important."

(NN): "And once you'd raised his self-esteem, did everything else follow naturally?"

(Sharon): "You make it sound easy - it wasn't! Even after his heart-to-heart with Jacqui, it was obvious Sam hadn't achieved the breakthrough he needed so badly. I realised us girls would have to take charge, and I decided on an intense, three-way counselling session, with Jacqui and me simultaneously pushing Sam harder and further until he reached some kind of epiphany. This time, I told him, I didn't want to see him holding back at all: he needed to let go of everything he'd got bottled up inside.

"So I got Sam to lie back on the couch, and then we set to work. I knew Sam needed a deeper insight into a woman's sensual side, and I told Jacqui she'd just have to confront him head-on with her own raw sexuality. Luckily, she understood exactly what I meant! Her "in-your-face" approach caught Sam by surprise - in fact he could barely get a word out - but Jacqui pressed on with her agenda, determined to show him that a woman's libido was something to be explored rather than feared.

"While Jacqui got his head sorted out, I concentrated on the root of his recent problems. Between us we piled on the pressure, urging and cajoling him on; it was a lot for Sam to take on board, but there was no way me and Jacqui were going to ease off at that stage. We were so close, I couldn't just let him slip out of my grasp!

"Finally Sam achieved the breakthrough we'd all been striving for; we both hugged him tightly then, wanting to share in that magical moment. As I held him, I could feel all that pent-up tension just pouring out, and Jacqui said that when he cried out she felt it strike right at her core."

(Tammy): "Yes, I think everyone in the building heard that one! But I'm puzzled: it sounded almost as if you ladies had epiphanies too, right before Sam did...?"

(Sharon): "Well, actually," Sharon blushed, "We just faked our epiphanies to give him encouragement!"

(NN): "Wow, that sounds like a really intense therapy session!"

(Sharon): "You're not kidding! Towards the end we were all emotionally exhausted. Sam described our encounter as "draining". But he's a much more confident young man today, and I feel very proud to have played a part in that transformation. And for me personally, it was such a great learning experience - young Sam forced me to stretch myself in ways I'd never imagined!"

(Tammy): "And after a five-star performance like that, what could I do but offer Sharon a job? She's now one of our trained volunteers, handling all the male sexual dysfunction cases at college! These days when a new visitor arrives on our doorstep, Sharon's smiling face will usually be the first thing he sees, ready and waiting for him to unload his troubles onto."

(Sharon): "Hmm, I was unsure about it at first; but when Tammy showed me the state these young men were in, I just couldn't turn my back on them. Although it's meant giving up my old job, my work here is far more satisfying. It's a wonderful moment when you finally achieve a breakthrough with a client."

(Tammy): "Yes, I think the thing about Sharon that really impresses the clients is the depth of her commitment. From day one, she's taken on some really hard cases, but somehow she always finds room in her schedule to accommodate them, no matter how tight things get. Any hour of the day, I can be sure Sharon will be hard at it in her office, busting her ass to keep on top of her workload. I've even known her to counsel two clients at once: frankly, I don't know how she does it!"

(Sharon): "Well, it's never easy - even now, I still have to phone up Jacqui sometimes for a helping hand!"

* * * *

(NN): "So, there are clearly many students out there with reason to be grateful to the dedicated staff of SNS. But Tammy, I'd like to return to your old bête noir, the gameshow "Total Career Wipeout". As you predicted, TCW recently ended its final run with no more series planned. So why exactly is SNS still pursuing them?"

(Tammy): "Because there are still a lot of questions that need answering. Firstly, we'd like to know what happened to all the secret recordings. Whether they're aware of it or not, every contestant who appeared on the show was filmed by hidden cameras and that footage is still out there somewhere. Until it's all found and destroyed, there'll be no closure to this sorry tale."

(NN): "It certainly wouldn't be the first time people have done outrageous things only for the photographic evidence to surface later. But the production company always argue that what they recorded was little different from the wild antics that students get up to behind closed doors anyway."

(Tammy): "C'mon, there's a big difference between having fun in private and seeing it broadcast across the entire country! Let's face it, the TCW show was just a tacky display, laid on for the punters; why else did Ursula always give a detailed description of every bloke's erection? You'd have thought the expressions on the ladies' faces as their vaginas were stretched to their limits told the viewers all they needed to know!

"And for many people the ordeal still isn't over - take Tina Bowmastle for example, who competed over a year ago. The video of her wild ride is still an internet sensation today, galloping headlong towards her climax with her boobs jiggling like crazy, all her protests completely ignored as she's pounded from below by an unseen stranger. I expect that footage will dog poor Tina for the rest of her days."

(NN): "Yes, I noticed they re-showed her performance recently in roundup of "Top-40 Embarrassing TV Moments". But despite all the controversy, you must agree the show did provide a boost for the winners?"

(Tammy): "Not always the kind of boost they were expecting. It's been widely reported how contestants and male volunteers all reconvened at after-show parties, where the winners were routinely plied with free drinks. Those parties could get pretty wild, with students often becoming completely insensible on free booze - a mistake they later regretted. One girl described to me how she woke up the following morning, butt-naked in a hotel room with one massive, throbbing headache and three massive, throbbing black men! When she asked them what the hell had happened, they proved only too happy to help remind her, going to great lengths to help jog her memory until it all came flooding back to her. When she finally staggered out of the room two hours later, she told me, she felt so sore and bruised she actually wished she'd lost the damn contest! Of course, she got pregnant; it seems that even the winners are expected to do their bit for the good of the nation."

(NN): "Well Tammy, you've given us plenty to think about, and even though TCW has apparently been consigned to the archives, I'm sure the debate will carry on for some time.

"But to round off, I'd just like to ask about your personal experience of appearing on the show. You've repeatedly stated what a terrible ordeal it was; however a number of TV pundits have commented that you actually appeared to be rather enjoying yourself. Is there any truth in this at all?"

(Tammy): "It's not the first time I've heard that ridiculous accusation, and it just goes to show how easily people's perceptions can become distorted. Those critics are in denial over the awful harm television can do. They only see what they want to see: in this case, that all us girls are "in on the joke" and having a great time bouncing up and down on a bunch of strangers' cocks. Can you imagine?"

(NN): "So there's no truth in the rumour that you actually resisted the stagehands' attempts to free you at the end of the game?"

(Tammy): "Oh that's total bullshit! I was fighting desperately to escape, and when the stagehands were letting me out, some people thought I was fighting with them too! I wish I could get all those oh-so-righteous TV journalists and "media experts" to sit down and watch the whole episode again, so I could point out what's really going on at each stage of the contest. I'd soon put them straight on a few things."

(NN): "Well Tammy, it seems your wish is granted: just this morning, the company announced the release of the full, unedited version of Series One on DVD! I happen to have a copy here. It's promoted as containing: "Every thrust, grunt and gasp in striking hi-definition" and promises us previously unseen hidden camera footage from over one hundred sexual encounters."

(Tammy): "Whu - what are you talking about? You're wrong, you - they'd never release that! It's got to be faked!!"

(NN): "'Well, I have to say it looks genuine enough; let's play it and see if we recognise anybody..."

I popped the disc into one of several players in my office. Tammy looked utterly dumbfounded still, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming forth. I flipped forward to "Bout One - Final Round". On the plasma screen a picture flicked up showing the game in full flow; at this point, three of the four players were already firmly impaled on their partners' pistoning cocks, while the groans and gasps of desperate copulation from both males and females suddenly filled the meeting room. Tammy and Sharon were both stunned into silence.

"What's really impressive about this DVD is the new player-tracker feature," I continued, "Here, let me demonstrate -" A menu popped up in the corner of the screen, showing options "Player1 - Player 4"; I chose Player 3.

The image instantly switched to a hi-def close-up of conjoined sex organs engaged in vigorous intercourse. A hairy pussy squished hungrily around the base of a caramel-coloured cock, the woman's pelvis alternating between energetic pumping and small, rapid circular movements. Tammy and Sharon watched mesmerised as the camera gradually drew back, revealing first the lower body of an Asian man, straddled by a Caucasian woman's hips; then the woman's sweaty torso came into view, pert breasts bouncing away, then her slim shoulders and finally... Tammy's face!! Perspiration dripped from her angular nose and chin, only to be lost in her partner's prolific chest hair, and her lips moved unceasingly, though whatever she was muttering was drowned out by the moans and groans from her similarly engaged neighbours. The present-day Tammy looked mortified, while her loyal employee Sharon seemed to be desperately trying not to smirk.

Then Tammy's face turned dark with anger: "This is disgusting!" she spat, "How can they sell film of me being humiliated? I'm being forced to have sex against my will, and they've just turned it into cheap entertainment!"

I pointed out it wasn't all that cheap at £18.99, but Tammy didn't want to hear it. "Give me that remote!" she yelled, reaching for the DVD controls. But before she could snatch them from me a comment from her co-worker Sharon stopped her in her tracks:

"Actually Tam, from the look of things, you seem to be doing most of the work in that relationship. What's that you're saying to the guy there...?"

"Whu? I - I don't know!" Tammy rounded on her colleague, her face dark with anger, "For fuck's sake Sharon, just shut up!"

Her outburst silenced the blonde, and I took the opportunity to jump in:

"Ah, you've just reminded me Sharon, we can easily find out what Tammy was saying. The player-tracker allows us to isolate a head mike, so if I just go to this menu here..."

Suddenly Tammy's breathy mumblings were amplified to full volume on the surround sound speakers:

"Ooooh you gorgeous bastard... don't you dare come until I say so... oh my God, your prick feels so fucking good! Quick, get your thumb up my arse again... now rub my clitty... no, HARDER... yeah, that's more like it - nnnggggghhhhhh!!

There it was, the damning evidence! And this was no fake; the running commentary was in perfect synch with Tammy's lip movements on-screen. In the office meanwhile, Tammy had her palms clapped to the sides of her face, looking absolutely devastated, her mind groping helplessly for something to say in her defence.