All characters involved in the following story are over eighteen. Please note that this is a work of fiction set in the near future, is not based on any real persons or TV shows, and certainly not intended to excuse acts of non-consensual sex under any circumstances. Do not read on if you are likely to be offended by explicit material, black humour or bad puns!
(from News Nightly, 20th September:)
One year ago we interviewed Tammy Shoeburn, spokeswoman for "Studies Not Studs", a protest group which seeks to highlight the problems facing today's generation of university students, in particular the role played by the controversial gameshow "Total Career Wipeout". Tammy revisited to our offices this week to bring the story up to date, accompanied by fellow campaigner Sharon Glattimmer.
(NN): "So Tammy, why have you come to talk to us again today?"
(Tammy): "Well, firstly I want to set the record straight. After our last interview, the media seemed intent on labelling "Studies Not Studs" as some sort of feminist organisation purely concerned with the plight of female students. I'd just like to make it clear, we're well aware the boys are facing an equally tough time and we're doing all we can to help them too."
(NN): "I hate to say it, but so far it seems as if all your campaigning hasn't improved the basic situation for women students?"
(Tammy): "Hey, we are fighting against the tide here. These days undergraduates have a constant struggle to scrape together enough cash to cover their tuition fees, and the results are plain to see if you visit the venues where they work in the evenings. At the lap-dancing clubs, for example, the competition for tips has become shockingly aggressive - it's no exaggeration to say the girls are thrusting their crotches in the punters' faces the minute they step through the door! Virtually every night of the week, these ladies are pushing their bodies just as hard as they're pushing their brains during the day. In fact you could say that today, the girls are outstripping the guys - academically and literally!"
(NN): "So, if you're still struggling to make a difference to female students' circumstances, how do you now expect to help the guys?"
(Tammy): "Look, there's a lot of support we offer. For example, we provide counselling for young men who need it. In common with most of their female colleagues, these guys are often working as strippers in Chippendale-type clubs in order to pay their fees. But at that age, they're often mentally unprepared for what they encounter: having to strip to your skin in front of a horde of baying, lust-crazed women is actually quite intimidating for a lad of just 19 or 20 years old!"
(NN): "I can imagine! So perhaps you could tell us about a case where your counselling has been effective?"
(Tammy): "Oh, I'm afraid all our sessions are strictly confidential, sorry."
(NN): "But surely you can recount just one instance where you've made a real difference to a student's life?"
(Tammy): "Well... er... Sharon, how about the first time you visited our offices? That was a resounding success, as I recall - and there's no problem with confidentiality, since you weren't actually a member of staff at the time..."
(Sharon): "Seriously? But - but that wasn't really a formal session, I thought -"
(Tammy): "Oh, don't worry, it'll be fine as long as we don't use real names!" Tammy waved her away her colleague's misgivings and turned back to me: "Anyway, the case concerned an 18-year-old student - I'll call him Sam - who'd recently started work at the strip venue "Dreemstudz". He was a good-looking young man and had already proved a hit with the office workers and hen parties who frequented the club.
"Then one night, things got out of hand. The place had been hired for a charity fundraiser, so the regular doormen weren't on duty. During Sam's act, two drunken lasses got up on stage; a more experienced performer might have handled the situation better but, before Sam knew what was happening, they'd grabbed him and yanked down his G-string. Not wanting to start a riot, he just stood there while both ladies fell to their knees, seized him by the hips and took turns performing fellatio. Despite his best efforts it all proved too much and, with the crowd screaming encouragement, he shot his entire load down one customer's gasping throat!
"After that, Sam's confidence around women was shattered. The fact that literally hundreds of leering ladies had witnessed his loss of control with two strangers had left him very perturbed. In desperation, he came to us and related his sorry tale, describing the vivid flashbacks he'd suffered since that night, how the experience had prevented him from going back to work at the club and even resulted in a break-up with his girlfriend, when she found out!
"And so we came up with a plan: one of our team would infiltrate the charity group to discover the identities of the two ladies involved, and then contrive for them to visit our offices, where Sam would be waiting. Thus we were able to bring the perpetrators - Sharon here, and her friend Jacqui - face to face with their victim in the hope that everyone could come to terms with what had happened."
(NN): "Sounds like a risky strategy!"
(Tammy): "Yes, but I was convinced it was the only way forward; and as it turned out, Jacqui and Sharon were very keen to help as soon as they saw Sam's predicament."
(Sharon): "Well, it was actually kind of embarrassing! The truth is, we'd both had a few drinks that night and neither of us could recall events too clearly; it was only when Jacqui laid eyes on Sam again that she remembered exactly what we'd done to him!"
(Tammy): "Yeah, the atmosphere was rather awkward at first. But then, out of the blue, Sharon came up with a winning idea: since they'd both already seen Sam naked, she proposed the rest of us should take our clothes off too, to "get everyone on the same level" as she put it. It was a stroke of genius - though I wasn't too keen on participating myself! So as Jacqui began plucking at the buttons of her blouse, I retreated to my office next door to let the three of them continue their discussion in private."
(NN): "So Sharon, how did the meeting go?"