Torn Paige Day 05

Day 5 -- Monday

The early hours of the morning saw Paige plagued the thoughts of what was happening to her. Just a week ago, less even, she'd been a shy, quiet girl, good in school, moving her way along the path she and her father had set her toward.

One mistake, born of her trying to get by easily, had no put her in a position where she felt no control of anything happening around her. Now she had a neighbor who was daily tightening His control over her, a man she'd now indentured herself into for the foreseeable future.

On top of all that, she couldn't even turn to her father for help, because even if daddy could get her out of this, she knew that he'd never see her the same way again. It almost hurt her inside to think how excited her father was about the current arrangement, but she couldn't blame him for it. On the surface it seemed so perfect that she'd be working right next door, but the pieces that he didn't, and couldn't, know painted a scene far different from that idealized picture.

Paige's alarm went off around just before 6 AM, far too early when laid against the very little sleep her mind had allowed her to steal. Nonetheless, she dragged herself out of bed and into her bathroom for her early morning shower. After days of what she could only term as violations by her neighbor, she was cautious to make sure her shower curtain left nothing to be seen from outside, even though she knew no one would or could be looking.

After a quick shower and dressing for her school day, Paige rushed downstairs, pasting the same sweet, beaming smile on her face that her parents had seen nearly every day of her life. She always made sure to be awake in time to say good morning to her parents before they left for their workdays.

Paige embraced her mother in a long hug, her voice bubbling "Have a good day mommy." She then turned to her father, and locked her arms around his neck. Again, she tried to express her current predicament to him in this hug, but she couldn't think of how he could possibly hear a plea that she knew she couldn't make. "Have a great day, daddy," burst cheerfully from her lips as her parents departed.

After a light breakfast, Paige exited the house. She locked the door behind her, as always, and stepped out onto the sidewalk to await the school bus. Minutes later, she heard Lee's door open. She refused to even look in His direction, choosing to try to ignore Him.

Lee looked across at her from His garage, simply greeting her with "See you after school; I have plenty of chores for you."

Paige struggled to settle her breathing and not outwardly show her frustration and anger. His words were always so perfectly chosen to appear totally innocent to anyone looking on from outside of their current arrangement, but always pointed specifically enough to make her feel completely helpless.

Relief set in for Paige when she finally reached school. This was a place where she was still in control of herself. No one here knew about her ordeal. No one here knew anything about what she had done or why. Here, she was every bit the sweet, innocent girl that she wanted still to be.

The school day went by as so many had before. Paige reverted from her state of shock and dismay over her neighbor's extortion of her and became the girl everyone knew. Her natural personality sparkled through the fog surrounding her. Her laugh and her smile came back, not the forced smiles she'd been giving her parents over the past days, but the real, sparkling smile of a teenage girl enjoying every moment of her youth.

Getting on the bus to go home, though, put Paige back into her state of subdued panic. She sat in her seat throughout the ride home, staring out the window, listening to the churning engine of the bus bring her closer to her fate, to Lee.

Arriving home, Paige waited a few moments for the bus to disappear around a corner, then walked directly over to Lee's front door, determined to get done whatever He'd have her do. Seeing a light on in His home office, she rang the door bell.

"It's open, Paige." Lee's voice boomed from inside.

Paige turned the doorknob slowly and stepped inside cautiously, though she couldn't think of much that Lee could have set for her that would make her feel worse about this than she already did.

"Come into the office." Lee's voice commanded from the short distance.

Paige dropped her book bag near the entry way and walked meekly across His den to the office. Lee sat at His desk, going through digital photos on His computer. Paige stood just inside the office door, not wanting to be any closer to Lee than she'd have to be.

Lee's eyes gave her only a passing glance today, spending much more time focused on His work.

"Water the plants, pick up in the den, and clean up the kitchen." Lee commanded simply, becoming again engrossed in flipping through the photos He'd taken on His recent trip out of town.

Paige stood in the doorway; looking confused at the simple list of chores she'd just been given. She'd walked in expecting a continuation of her previous humiliation. Lee had seemed so pleased to make her relive every moment of it, reveling in her emotional turmoil. But today, there was nothing of it, not so much as a mention of what had brought her here; nothing but a simple list, a list that quite frankly, she'd be happy to do for an after-school job.

"Is there a problem?" Lee asked, in a tone that underlined His usual calm control with just a hint of soothing ease.

"No, no, I'm sorry." Paige quickly stammered, as she stepped out of the office and set about her given tasks.

"If you have any questions, just ask." Lee's voice followed.

Paige decided to start with the kitchen, finding the remnants of a recent meal around the kitchen counter and sink. She took a few moments explore the drawers and cupboards, taking Lee's ambiguous directions as an implied consent to acquaint herself with His home.

She started off rounding up all the dirty dishes and cookware from around the room and quickly scraping and rinsing them clean, scrubbing anything needing further attention, and organized them into the dishwasher.

A quick washcloth taken around the surfaces of the kitchen made barely dirtied countertops and table shine like new. Finishing the job with a quick sweep of the floor, deciding that should be satisfactory.

"This can't be it." Paige thought silently to herself.

The tasks she'd been assigned were nothing different than she'd done at home pretty much every day. It was hard to call what she'd been entrusted today as even a job, Lee's house was pretty much clean the moment she walked in.

Her mind flashed back to exactly why she was here, the servitude she'd sold herself into. She shook all this confusion from her mind, deciding that the price of Lee's continued silence was for her to simply do what she was told, so that's what she would do.

The den would be next, Paige decided. She was far more familiar with this room; this was where her true shame began. She went around the room, picking up a few stray magazines, cleaning up a rocks glass on the corner table next to His favorite chair. She paused a moment as her arm brushed against the soft fabric on the arm.

In that momentary touch, Paige couldn't help but remember what she had done in that very chair a few days before. The reminder was cemented into her consciousness a moment later when her eyes locked on the digital picture frame sitting on the end table.

Paige was mortified to see the frame scrolling the very pictures she had taken of herself for His pleasure and silence. She squeezed the glass in her hand as the memory's flooded through her mind. She was standing next to that chair, forced again to relive every moment of that first day.

It was almost the same mortifying feeling that Paige had felt when she thought she was about to get caught. She froze in place, leaning over the chair, only able to squeeze the glass in her hand as she watched the pictures scroll through on the digital frame. Every time the screen faded to momentary blackness, she hoped for a split second that the next picture would be something other than herself, and every time her heart sunk when her body appeared again.

"I hate Him." Paige whispered to herself, stopping for a few deep breaths.

Lee was in control at this point. He held her father's perception of her in His hands. Paige thought about what it would mean for her if her father ever found out about all that had happened.

"Maybe he wouldn't be so mad." Paige thought silently to herself, considering her father had always supported her.

Even as she thought about the best-case scenario of her father finding out, she remembered the few times Paige had actually seen her father angry, and suddenly, in her mind, that anger was directed at her. Would he ground her, kick her out, or even worse?

"Maybe he would." Paige argued back to herself, wiping a tear from her eye.

The subtle sound of cracking glass was the catalyst this time that woke Paige from her seemingly catatonic focus on the frame. She quickly dropped the glass into Lee's chair, lucky to not have broken it fully. She huffed with anger at having to once again see the pictures of her humiliation.

"Chores." Paige said to herself, snapping herself back to the reason she was there. The word carried all the weight of why she had agreed to this. If her father ever found out about all this, she knew for sure that he'd never look at her the same way again.

Paige carefully carried the cracked rocks glass and took it to the kitchen. She wanted to avoid Lee for the moment, she couldn't really look at Him after being forced again to look at her pictures.

Paige finally went about watering the plants throughout the house. The time and the simple task gave her a chance to calm herself. Finally, she returned to the kitchen, finding the cracked glass and taking it to Lee's office.

"Um, Lee," Paige stammered out, standing just inside the office door, "I, um, cracked this glass."

Lee looked up from His work, noting the cracked glass in Paige's hands. "Are you okay?" Lee asked, stoically.

Paige found herself shocked that Lee would ask that first, it was too caring for the Man she'd painted Him as in her mind.

"Are you alright?" Lee asked again, in a similarly stoic, but firmer tone.

"I'm fine." Paige finally replied.

"How'd it break?" Lee followed.

"I..." Paige started, searching for a diplomatic excuse for breaking the glass. She looked down for a moment at the glass in her hand, and remembered why she'd broken it, how much she hated having to look at those exploitative pictures that Lee had made her take. "I got angry looking at the pictures on the frame by your chair." Paige replied, with a bit of her anger boiling into her voice, "I hate them."

"I think they're beautiful." Lee shot back, His tone never anything but even, smooth, almost uncaring. "Why should I not have them where I can enjoy them?"

Paige chose not to answer, knowing that whatever she said wouldn't matter anyway. She chose instead to just move the conversation forward.

"What else do you want me to do?" Paige asked, trying to remain calm, even though she feared more degradation was about to be asked of her.

"That will be all." Lee replied, "There's twenty dollars for you on the table next to the door. See you tomorrow."

Paige looked at him for a moment, shocked she wasn't asked to expose herself to some new humiliation. Her mouth opened to question for a moment, but she stopped herself, taking the opportunity to scurry home, twenty dollars richer.

Dear Diary: I just worked. I don't get Lee at all. Now that he has me and he knows it, all He wants is for me to clean His house. It was simple, and twenty bucks is a lot for working barely an hour. Still, I had to look those pictures again. It kills me to think how much He must look at them.