It became a matter for debate, later on, who the first to suggest the arrangement was. I had been the one to ask if there was any way to persuade him to keep my secret. He had been the one, however, to jokingly suggest sex slavery. I knew he was joking when he said it, but I also knew there was a grain of truth in that request. In the long awkward moment that followed, both of us avoided looking at each other. We knew the stakes. Knew I would do almost anything to avoid being deported. If he was discovered keeping my secret, he would likely face jail himself. It was a risk I couldn't ask him to take without recompense, but I had nothing of value to offer. Nothing but myself.
The thought turned my stomach and made my knees weak, but it might be my only recourse. Could I do it? In that silence that stretched on and on, I saw my fate if I were sent back to China. I had forged a Green Card from my student Visa. America would deport me. China, likely, would imprison me. My family would be shamed, and my life would be forever ruined. Could I become a sex slave to this man to save myself? I realized in that moment, that I could.
But would he accept it?
My eyes finally met his. He must have seen the resolve in my eyes, for his eyes widened, his face flushing. I had to ask him. I had to hear him say it. Would he accept me, my body, to keep the secret?
After a long moment, he asked the question: Under what terms?
And so we discussed it. It was a horrible, terrifying thing. Yet, we discussed it like a business transaction. I was sick inside, but I knew this was the only way. I hoped he would go through with it. I needed him to go through with it.
He already had a vasectomy several years ago, so there was no danger of conception. We were both clean. I hadn't had sex in almost a year. He'd been celibate since his wife died 3 years ago. In order to both stay clean, we'd restrict ourselves to each other. He couldn't interfere with my school-work or class schedule, but all of my free time was open to him. Most terrifying, I agreed to refuse him nothing. I would do anything he wanted me to, and I would let him do anything to me.
In return, he would never tell anyone about the things I accidentally emailed him with my final project. I had kept the digital documents I doctored, in case I needed them. I hid them by labeling them as a project. I never thought I, in a sleep deprived stupor, would accidentally attach them instead of my actual project.
Now, my foolishness had led me to this.
With the details concluded, neither of us spoke. I was sickened at what I had done, but grateful he had accepted. I held him blameless in this, it was my mistake that brought this upon me. I was thankful he wasn't more self-righteous. Thankful, I had a body that could entice a man like him. Thankful his long span of celibacy had made him more amenable to the agreement that still turned my stomach.
I could tell by his breathing that he was aroused, perhaps painfully so, but he was still hesitant about the agreement. I had to seal the deal. I had to make sure he was on board. That meant giving him more incentive.
"Would... would you like me to start now?" I asked, breathless. We were in his living room. He hadn't wanted to discuss the files I sent him on campus.
For a long moment, he didn't reply. Then, in a strangled voice, he simply said, "yes."
He didn't move, he just sat there watching me, but I knew what he wanted. Doing my best to hold back tears, I stood and began to undress. My jeans came off first. I turned around so he could watch my ass as I slid the denim down my legs , bending deeply at the waist when I reached to pull them off. Kicking my jeans to the side, I turned to face him once more. His eyes were wide, glued to my slender olive colored legs. An unmistakable bulge had inflated the front of his pants. My heart dropped a few more inches into my stomach when I realized he was bigger than any guy I'd been with.
Steeling myself, I quickly pulled my t-shirt off before I could change my mind about it. I had been in bed when he called earlier and didn't stop to put a bra on before rushing over, so I now stood before him, naked from the waist up. A barely audible groan passed his lips as my bare breasts fell free. I am not large chested, a respectable B cup, but my breasts are well proportioned to my size and well rounded, topped with dark, coffee colored nipples. While proud of my breasts, I never felt 100% comfortable with people seeing my breasts. So standing there topless, knowing what I was getting myself into, was just shy of horrifying.
Pausing for a moment so he could enjoy the sight of my tits, I hooked my thumbs through the band of my panties and slid them down. Now completely naked, I had never felt so vulnerable, so exposed. I wanted to cry, to cover myself and run, but I knew I had to do this. A more skilled seductress would have put on more of a show, but I was so terrified, it was all I could do to walk up to him and kneel between his legs.
"Kari, you don't have to do this tonight, if you're not comfortable." He was trying to be kind, to make accommodations for my feelings. I was grateful, but I needed to make sure he was sold on this.
"What I want doesn't matter. I agreed to this." I put my hands on his lap, one hand squeezing his cock through his pants while the other fumbled with the button. "Do you want me to continue?"
He groaned as my hand kneaded his cock. "God yes. Forgive me, but yes."
"There's nothing to forgive. I agreed to do anything you wanted. To let you use me anyway you want. And right now I know you want this."
