[This story is a continuation of 'Experimenting with My Friend,' also posted on my account. It would probably help to get familiar with the characters and what happened, if you read that one first.
***If not, here's a recap: The story is from Arnob's perspective. Orin and Arnob are two friends from a south Asian country, with a conservative view. Orin started dating this guy, who is kind of a womanizer. He had been with many girls before, and when Orin would sleep with him, she didn't want to be unprepared. So she asks Arnob, who was also a virgin, to try it out with her. They try it out, but after that, Orin blocks Arnob from her life and cuts any kind of connection. Arnob being too egoistic, didn't try to get back either. But maybe it meant a lot to him.]
I know what I said at the end of the last story. But I guess heart wants what heart wants.
It wasn't long before I started missing Orin. What made it worse was that our classes started soon after that, and I had to see her at the university. Not gonna say that I was in love with her, but every time I saw her kissing her boyfriend or them being together, it felt like a gut punch. It didn't feel good.
I wanted to talk to her about it, yes, but she would never give me a chance. Any time I saw her, she would just ignore me or just walk away with her friends. This one time I wanted to go up to her, even though she had friends with her, but couldn't, after the look she gave me.
And, at times, she would even kinda show it off, I guess. Well, what she'd do is, if she saw me, and was with her boyfriend, she would kiss him or make out with him, and give me a look. As if to remind me that she's with him, and I was nothing but a practice run. I know, I shouldn't complain. It was fun for me too and I knew what it was, but it still did hurt.
But then something happened.
***
It was the graduation ceremony. I wasn't really looking forward to it, I wasn't really a fan of all the people I went to university with, and kinda hated a lot. But I had to, so I did. I just wanted to get it over with.
I had couple friends though. So, I was with them. Walking around, having fun. The guys wore shirt and pants, and the girls wore saree. Fact: saree is one of my biggest weaknesses.
So, I was just hanging out with my couple friends, watching all the girls in saree, walking around, having fun, taking pictures and all that. But then I saw her.
Orin. She wore a blue saree, it was so simple, but she looked so beautiful in it. She had her hair in a bun, which I'm not gonna lie is not my favorite, but it still looked perfect on her. She was also wearing blue blouse with an open back. All I could think about was walking up to her and kiss her.
But then, I saw her kiss. I saw her kiss her boyfriend, and taking pictures with him. Laughing at something he whispered into her ear. He had his arm around her waist. Tracing his fingers, and she was blushing and giggling.
She hadn't notice me, she had no reason to. She was surrounded by her boyfriend and her friends.
And from that moment, I couldn't focus on anything but her. Remember I was checking out girls with my friends? Not anymore. Now my eyes just followed her, watching what she does.
It was the hardest gut punch ever. And I just wanted to run away.
Oh, by the way, I didn't tell my friends about her. About what happened at her place or anything like that. Thought it was too much of a precious memory to share with others. Which also means that they didn't really know what I was feeling. I was trying to hide my pain, but I guess they could sense that something's wrong.
I couldn't help but feel like, maybe it wasn't precious for her. She didn't care. At lease it didn't look like she did. She was happy with him, ignoring me, like I never mattered. Maybe I didn't to her.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be emotional like this, but I just can't help it. I missed her. She was the one who cheated on her boyfriend, not me. Why am I the only one suffering?
I was angry. And jealous. And sad. And a whole lot of feelings that I'm not sure of.
***
I had left with my friends soon after that, and tried to distract myself. We roamed around, seeing other people, saying "hi" to some people and being glad that I'll probably never see them again. It had been a couple hours, and I think I was slowly feeling better about the whole "Orin" thing.
"Hey, I'll be back, gotta pee," I said to my friends, as I left them to go to the toilet. Which is where I ran into Orin again. Weirdly, she was alone. She's normally always with her friends or her boyfriend, so I was surprised.
We both shocked and stood there, staring at each other. She was looking around to find an excuse, or I don't know what. Then I realized that I was blocking her way with my body, there were some boxes stacked by us and there was no way for her to walk around me.
And I realized that this was the chance. I grabbed her wrist and she looked up at me with fear in her eyes, she started to try to tug her hand away, but I didn't let go. I pulled her through the door, as she continued groaning and telling me to let her go.
Then I locked the door behind us so that nobody could come in.
I looked at the stalls, and they all looked empty.
"What the fuck Arnob, what do you want?" was the first thing she said.
I snapped at her. I was furious. You know the feelings I was talking about just a while ago? That I was slowly get out of? Well, it all came back. Pent up anger, waiting to burst out.
But I didn't want to. I turned towards the mirror, and punched my fist onto the countertop.
She took a couple steps back. As I asked, "Why?"
"Why what?" she asked, in a low voice, I think she was scared someone might hear us. She had her arms crossed as she also looked around to make sure the stalls were empty.
"Why did you shut me out like that?"
O: Then what do you think I'd do?
A: I don't know... not that? why did you do all that with me?
O: I told you. I needed experience and I chose you.
A: So that's it? That's all it was? I didn't mean anything to you?
She snapped at me, "Mean something to me? What's that supposed to mean? You knew what we were doing."
"Yes... I don't know," I turned towards her. "I didn't expect you to just throw me away... I thought we were friends."
"You were an experiment, Arnob. I needed experience and I tried it on you. Nothing else," she said, not meeting my eyes.
