"I'm sorry... Can you explain it again please?" I asked Joan Megacorp's HR representative.
"It's actually pretty simple, here are the highlights. If you accept the job transfer:
1. You will get a 75% raise.
2. You will be transferred to our traveling cruise ship office.
3. Your room and board will be covered on the ship.
4. You will have one week of vacation / shore leave for every 4 weeks on board."
Joan explained for the 3rd time.
"Ok so, why does this makes sense for the company? We are a tech company, why do we want to operate out of a cruise ship?" I asked.
"It's a nice perk we can offer our employees who overwhelmingly voted to work from a cruise ship if possible. We partnered with a cruise line that had trouble selling out, so we got the entire ship at a great deal. And... Well the company has been spending a ton on sexual harassment lawsuits lately. Being in international waters gives the company a lot of legal protection from that kind of frivolous lawsuit." Joan explained.
"So... What's stopping me from getting sexually assaulted at work?" I asked.
"Great question Laura. So first let me make a distinction between harassment and assault. For the purpose of the cruise ship office, if anyone lays a finger on you without your expressed permission, that's assault. They will be fired and brought up on charges. Harassment is just something you don't like. Remember you can always just leave the room if there is something you don't like. If you are easily offended... This is probably not the right job for you." Joan explained.
Three weeks later with two large suitcases in tow I boarded the one and only S.S. Risky-business. A ship host helped me with my suitcases and gave me a tour. I learned with my arrival there were 138 Megacorp employees and 31 ship staff including cooks and housekeeping. There were two movie theaters, a bowling alley, two heated pools, four hot tubs, and two bar / night clubs.
Feeling good about my decision to transfer I started to unpack. I found a gift basket with a note on my dresser.
"Dear Laura,
We are very excited to have you join our team. This is just our way of saying welcome. We hope your thirsty. We are having drinks tonight at 7 pm by the pool bar to welcome you on board.
Love Mitch & team.
P.s. You would be surprised how often people forget their swimwear."
In the bag I found a bottle of Tequila and a red string bikini.
Not being sure of the dress code for tonight I put on a professional button up black top and black slacks. Under them I had on the red bikini. The bikini top did not offer much support but as I had tiny 32 A tits I didn't need much. I was 5'4 110lb well-toned stomach and legs. The bikini was more revealing then I would have picked; but I had put enough time in at the gym that I had earned the right to show off a little.
I showed up at the pool bar to find six shirtless men drinking beer in a large hot tub. They ranged in age from mid-twenties to late fifties. Four of them had significant beer bellies and two look they to be in very good shape. They all turned as a walked in. The oldest, a man with a bowl cut of white hair and tummy that could give Santa a run for his money, climbed out of the water. After drying his hands, he offered a shake. "Welcome Laura, I'm Mitch. We are all excited to have you here." He ordered a margarita for me. Putting his hand on the small of my back. Mitch guided me over the bubbling tub of men soup. Pointing to each man in turn he introduced Matt, Tom, Bob, Roy, and Mark. They all encouraged me to join them as my margarita showed. Not wanting to seem like a stick-in-the-mud I went to the locker room and took off my business attire. They all watched me as I walked from the locker room to the tub, margarita in hand. I gave them a shy little wave as I walked over, they smiled back in return.
I stepped in between Mark and Tom. I sipped on my drink not sure how to break the ice. The jets had been turned all the way up I could not see into the water. "You look like you work out a lot." Bob a well-muscled man in his mid 30s said with a smile. "Oh thanks, yeah I run a lot and do a little weights. I guess you're a gym rat too I replied."