Part 1 (of 2)
I got a call from my cousin Tiffany one night. It had been years since we'd spoken. She grew up around these parts but moved away years ago. It was an awkward conversation. I knew she wanted something, but she just couldn't seem to spit it out. She finally said that she'd write me.
A week later, I got a large tan envelope containing some papers...old papers. I started reading...
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It's me again.
Finally had sex with Gregory. It was sweet, but it just didn't do it for me. I wish I could figure it out. Why am I like this?
There were a couple of incidents when I was younger that might help explain. The first one coming just after I graduated from high school.
He was a surgeon. I think he gave old people new knees and hips. I'll call him Dr. Smith. I was out one night parting with his daughter, Veronica (my next door neighbor and best friend for years). We had a blast, but I guess we stayed out a little too long. When we got home, Dr. Smith was waiting for us in the foyer. He yelled at his daughter and then sent her to her room, telling her he'd deal with her in the morning.
He turned to me with fire in his eye, "Get into my office, young lady...I'll deal with you now."
I gulped, remembering his office is where IT had happened.
Slowly marching down the hall, my mind flashed back to the last spanking that I received at his hands. It was two, maybe three years ago, when Veronica and I got caught smoking cigarettes at school. After a lengthy sermon about the dangers of smoking, he had us both lean over his desk. He pulled my pants and panties down to my knees and spanked my bare ass, though Veronica got to keep her jeans on. The humiliation of it all had kept me in line for years, and, as I stood at his door, I couldn't believe I was back in this situation.
But I thought with a sigh, "I'm 18 and headed to college in the fall. Surely he wouldn't try and spank me again."
"Get in there," he barked, swinging the door open. He didn't wait. He pushed me into the room.
"Please, Dr. Smith. I-I...just let me go home." My nerves were going crazy.
"I just can't believe your stupidity!" he screamed.
"Please," I pleaded. He was really scaring me.
"What time is it?" He was tapping his watch.
I couldn't say anything. I knew I was past curfew, but just by one hour. A lot of my friends could stay out until 1am. Sometimes I could, too, but not when Dr. Smith was watching me. I had to check in with him on the weekends when my mother did inventory at her work because she didn't get home until 3am. For some reason she trusted him. I think it was because he was a doctor.
He pulled me close. "And it smells and looks like you've been drinking."
I pulled away. (I'd had a couple of screwdrivers at the party, but I wasn't smashed.)
"And to top it off, you drove home and had my daughter with you in the car."
I lowered my head; he had me there. (Ok, they were large screwdrivers, but like I said, I wasn't smashed.)
He sat behind his desk. "Look at me."
It took some nerve, but I finally lifted my head. Dr. Smith's steely gaze was kind of scary. Normally I consider him somewhat attractive in a older-man-fantasy type of way, but not tonight.
"Clear...off...my...desk."
I shook with every word of that command because that's exactly how it all started the last time. I knew that he intended on punishing me now.
"Please, I'm too old," I begged.
"Apparently not," he sneered. "You've made some juvenile decisions tonight, and I plan on correcting that right now. You know your mother has given me the right."
I did (she even laughed when I told her what happened last time and then she grounded me to boot), but that was a couple years ago. A tear rolled down my cheek. I started stacking the papers on his desk, all the while wondering how I could get myself out of this. I cleared off his desk and placed most of the stuff on a wooden chair in the corner. I put his telephone on the floor underneath. His desk was now clear. He tossed me a rag, and I wiped off the top of the desk. I know it wasn't the same, but it felt like I was preparing my own electric chair.
"Stand up straight," he ordered, grabbing the rag. He took off his nerdy glasses and sat back in his office chair and folded his arms. His dark eyes ran up and down my body. His sudden case of hungry eyes only added to my nerves.
"Look at you," he finally said.
"W-w-what?" I mumbled, confused.
"What you're wearing. Can that white top be any tighter? You can practically see your nipples."
My hands flew up over my chest. "Please, Dr. Smith."
"And that black skirt, it's short enough, and with those high heeled shoes, I bet half the guys at the party know what color your panties are." He chuckled, and then teasingly added, "You ARE wearing panties?"
"Yes," I hissed.
"Well, I guess they didn't come with a matching bra."
I was still holding my hands over my chest. I was used to guys staring at my chest ever since I developed into a C-cup. But I was dressed to party, and maybe attract Kevin Michelle's eyes, not Dr. Smith's.
"I can see now why my daughter now dresses like a tramp."
"We're not that way; it's just how we girls dress."
"That doesn't mean it's right, or that I have to put up with it."