PART 10
The dreaded Monday morning finally arrived. Lillian woke up at 8:00 AM when her roommates had already left. Her pussy still dripped from the previous night events. It was becoming a routine for her to wake up with her pussy and ass soaked in semen. She thought bitterly that Megan and Karen should throw the couch away once she left, as it was becoming more and more tainted with spunk and female juices.
Lillian felt relieved to be alone, she found an envelope over the trunk, it contained the release forms from her porno-session. She held them to her chest happily and then cut them into little pieces. For the first time she felt hope of finally regaining some control of her life. The shameful contract she just signed was still nagging her in the back of her mind, but she managed to cope with the fear thinking that it won't mean anything unless she signed a contract for a porno session. Still, she was a little afraid that 'Lilly' could be subject to sign something in a moment of horniness.
"No," She said to herself, "From this moment Lilly no longer exists. I am in full command of my life now."
While she showered she went again thru the plans that she had made overnight, and even rehearsed a lot the interviews that she had ahead of her for the day.
She planned to deal with her blackmailer first, then go to see Ms. Barbara and ask her advice in order to find a way to drop her thesis gracefully, so she could retry the following semester with a new one. She also planned to go to the bank and ask for a credit of around $700 to $1000 backed by her monthly income and her vast trust fund. She thought that amount would be enough to buy some cheap but decent clothes and rent a cheap apartment to regain her independence.
She smiled shyly thinking that if she managed her interviews right, by the next day she would be free again, and would be able to finally leave all that craziness behind. If she could find the time, she also wanted to assert herself in front of Mr. Palmer and resign from her crappy job. She would threaten him with an accusation of sexual harassment if necessary; Once she dropped her thesis, Mr. Palmer's blackmail will lose most of its strength, especially if she made a preemptive talk with Ms. Barbara, telling her that she will resign to her internship and letting some hints that Mr. Palmer sexual innuendos could be the cause.
She started to feel better, thinking that from Thursday she will be back in her life. She will even look for a new job, just to prove herself that she was still the most promising undergrad student of her generation. She only regretted that she hadn't thought of these solutions earlier. She realized that she had behaved like a frightened animal in a stampede, just running and running and doing things in cascade without much thinking, just reacting, and doing anything to get away from a supposed danger just to run towards a much more dangerous and much more certain cliff.
But, as she combed her hair, she started experimenting more than simply regrets. Whenever she left her mind drift a little, her doubts started to grow and grow, and her insecurity became overwhelming. She rather liked it to be Thursday already; Despite her hopes and her carefully crafted plans, she felt really afraid of facing her blackmailer as well as Ms. Barbara. Even worse, she felt incapable to manage those interviews professionally; somehow her shameful interviews with Mr. Palmer and Bruce Taylor at the Ambassador had almost entirely destroyed her self-confidence. Even in her rehearsal of the coming interviews, her mind started wandering, and she could not avoid imagining all kinds of humiliating scenarios, which shamefully aroused her.
The fact that Ms. Barbara had seen her embarrassing photos didn't help at all to her self-confidence, even when she knew that Ms. Barbara wasn't aware that the wanton girl in the photos was her. Just the memories of the last meeting at Ms. Barbara's office, with her secretary and that student clinically studying her naked photos, made her shiver, but strangely, it also stirred her pussy with a feeling that she found hard to admit.
Lillian bitted her lower lip in front of the mirror. She no longer felt so confident. A part of her wanted to hide behind her alter-persona Lilly, and simply go back to do a slutty stunt instead of living that dreadful Monday as Lillian, the responsible student. She scolded herself at the thought and applied herself to get the most professional appearance ever, focusing herself completely on that task, and relegating her other thoughts to the back of her mind.
An hour later Lillian was taking the bus to her college. She was neatly dressed in her favorite ensemble: a business-like gray skirt that went below her knees, a blue, long sleeve blouse, and a dark gray blazer. Her beautiful red hair was elegantly done and she was wearing her favorite style of makeup. She was wearing high heels, underwear, and a pantyhose; all items were borrowed from Karen, the last ones without her knowledge, but Lillian wanted to look her best. One last look at the mirror and she felt better than ever.
"I bet those acne boys wouldn't even recognize me if they saw me," she thought amused.
One thing that she noted during the commute was that people weren't staring at her openly. That gave her great relief. It was tranquilizing to be finally free from all those women looking at her with scorn and anger, and of all those low-class young men, looking at her as she was some object whose only function was to satisfy them, at least visually.
A businessman smiled politely at her and she felt good, "I sure can attract the right kind of man,"
she thought cheerfully, but he ignored her from then on, and Lillian felt childish and stupid for thinking that he was drooling after her.
Halfway thru the commute, a couple of young men boarded the bus. They were probably construction workers by the look of their clothes. Lillian noticed that she grabbed their attention, but to her disappointment, they seemed to lost interest very fast. She felt oddly disenchanted. She started to feel insecure again, but now for other reasons. She felt she looked dowdy, and despite her conscious mind fight, she could not avoid thinking that Lillian was completely unable to grab a man's attention, while Lilly was an immediate magnet for any man's eyes.
Lillian lifted her skirt a little to show her knees and a bit of thigh and then unbuttoned the top button of her blouse without giving it too much thinking. She was getting in a behavior toboggan that would certainly lead her to do more stupid things, but fortunately for her, she arrived at the university bus stop.
She buttoned up her blouse hoping that nobody had noted her stunt. She was blushing and feeling stupid as she stepped down the bus.
Lillian had to reunite all her strength before entering the university and walking to the art department to meet her blackmailer Mr. Jackson. The walk along the aisle was unnerving, on one side she felt really good to be portraying a professional image. She felt that it would help her downplay her shameful behavior and photos as just a young woman's game. On the other side, she felt very insecure. Somehow Lillian and Lilly worlds were not so clearly apart right then. She was dressed as Lillian, but Lilly's slutty fingerprints were all over the place, invading the university that she considered Lillian's sanctuary.
"What do I do if I find John Wallace? What if he told her friends about my shameful behavior?
They probably wouldn't believe him, but..."
"Mr. Jackson will see you now. His office is that door at the end of this aisle. You don't have to knock, he is already waiting for you."
That phrase pulled her out of her stupor. She didn't even remember entering the teacher's lounge and asking for Mr. Jackson. She mumbled a "thanks," stood up, and marched like a robot to the designated place.
"Hi, Lillian."
Lillian thought that Mr. Jackson didn't look too impressive he was a skinny white man, probably just a couple of inches taller than her. Somehow she realized that he looked gay indeed, it was maybe the neatness of his attire, or probably the artful details in his very clean office.
She seemed to regain some confidence maybe seeing her adversary wasn't physically powerful, but when he smirked Lillian could not control a shiver. The man could seem weak, but his manners revealed he had a cruel side, maybe a bottled resentment from his young years. All in all, Lillian felt intimidated by his presence, specially knowing that her life was in his hands.
"Hi," she said in a very low voice, overwhelmed by thousand emotions running thru her mind. The witty opening phrases that she had thought while rehearsing this interview seemed to fly away from her, leaving her mind deserted, and filled with fear. All in all, she wasn't in shape to drive the conversation.
"Did you bring the money?"
She merely nodded. She had planned to bargain, to say that she only got $1300, but she felt paralyzed and wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.
"All of it?"
She should at least had said "yes," but instead she said, "I only brought $1700... you told me... remember..."
Mr. Jackson twitched his lips in a way that made Lillian nervous. He hadn't even offered her a seat, and he seemed ready to back off his deal.
He was thinking, "I expected a party girl afraid of his parents, but the way this girl is dressed, and her manners tell me that she had much more to lose than I originally thought. No wonder she brought all the money."
"I don't know Lillian. I am having second thoughts. I am risking my tenure here. Look I already prepared my inform."
