Thesis Topic 23 Ch 05

Part 7

Sunday morning Lillian woke up in Megan and Karen's apartment. She was still wearing Megan's little yellow dress. It was all creased and bunched around her waist letting her beautiful ass in full display. She had a serious hangover, she didn't drink that much but she wasn't used to alcohol, and the mix of different kind of beverages almost without eating, maximized the effect of the alcohol in her blood and her stomach.

Her headache made it difficult to concentrate. She tried to remember how she got home the previous night, and the scattered memories came little by little to her fogged mind. Mr. Palmer and his pals left soon after using her, and a little later Tim, the Dark Horse manager, seeing that she was drunk and smelled of sex, and all in all was in no shape to continue working, dismissed her after paying her $20. He was even kind enough to get her a taxi, after all, she was a cute girl and had helped him to keep a very important customer happy, as a matter of fact, Mr. Palmer left him a generous tip before leaving. Tim was indeed so satisfied with Lillian's weird performance that he handed the girl a business card and said

"If you need a job, even for a night, don't hesitate to call me."

That memory pulled Lillian from her stupor, and in panic she looked around for the card and after a few desperate seconds, she found it over the little table beside the couch. She breathed more at ease. She didn't want Megan to know anything about the Dark Horse or her shameful behavior there. She grabbed the card and returned to lay down on the couch. She closed her eyes tightly while crushing the card in her fist like trying with that gesture to erase the memories; one thing she knew for sure, she didn't want to see John, Sam or Mr. Palmer again in her life, she just couldn't face any of them after her shameful behavior.

The only positive was that after paying the taxi cab to return home, she still had $240.

"I made it," she thought, trying to convince herself of her little victory.

But she was still apprehensive, she will not be at ease until she had in her hands all the money needed to pay her blackmailer. She knew Karen will take care of that, but she will be on the edge until Karen gave her the money for her stuff and paid her the $200 that she promised for keeping her wardrobe.

Another thing about the money kept her nervous and edgy. It was the shameful origin of this money, but she tried to keep that idea out of her mind.

Trying to find something to distract her, she looked around for the shoes that Megan lent her the night before, but they were nowhere to be seen. She tried to remember what had happened to them, but the only fact that she could extract from her ached head was that she had arrived at the apartment barefoot.

She then listened to Megan, who was talking on the phone in her room. Lillian blushed ashamed,

"What will Megan think of me when she realizes that I lost the shoes and the underwear that she lent me. It surely will only reinforce her idea that I am a slut and a bimbo."

She thought bitterly while trying to fight the thought that she was all that indeed.

She decided to do something to stop thinking, but as she left the couch, she realized with shame that her pussy and ass had leaked semen during the night, and there were now two little, but clearly visible stains adorning the couch.

"oh, no!, Could this get worse?" she thought.

She heard Megan finishing her phone conversation, and she hesitated about what to do, but she was sure of one thing. She didn't want to talk with Megan right then.

She looked around for something to cover the stains on the couch, and out of desperation she took off her dress and put it over the stains.

She wanted desperately to take a shower, maybe if she stopped smelling like a whore she could put all those awful memories aside. She ran to the bathroom; she could feel each of her heartbeats pounding her head like a hammer; she promised herself to never drink again.

A minute later she was finally under the shower. She stood there until she ran out of warm water. She had to scrub herself hard to get all the crusted semen out of her skin. In fact, most of her skin was red by the time she had finished.

She could not believe what she had done. In just one day, she had sucked the cocks of 4 different men, she also let John Wallace fuck her doggy style, and that bastard of Mr. Palmer had fucked her in the ass. But the most shameful of her memories were her orgasms under those degrading circumstances.

As she closed her eyes under the warm water, Images of her shameful day flashed randomly on her mind. Memories of her failure at the job interview mixed with her humiliating "love-making" with Megan, and then they were replaced by Patricia's despiteful smirk as she found her hidden naked behind the couch in Mr. Bruce Taylor office. She shivered and tried to shake that image out of her head, but only to find it replaced by memories of herself knelt naked and sucking Sam's cock.

For a moment she realized that she didn't even know Sam's last name, which led her to a new memory, this time of her new humiliating photos on the internet; she could not avoid thinking that she had the semen of eight different men all over her body the day before. And she didn't even know the first names of the four kids that threw their cum filled condoms over her body.

All in all, she had made 9 people come that dreaded day. 8 men and 1 woman.

"I can't believe it," she thought bitterly, "What did I become?"

But then she corrected herself, "I am becoming nothing. It is just a part that I am playing. Like an actress or something. I am just a very determined girl, willing to do anything to get my goals. I am brave, that's all."

She walked back to the living room, looking for something to put on to regain a little bit of normality, and trying with the change of scenery to change her train of thoughts but she could not avoid to think that having sex with 5 different people of both sexes in just one day was something that no one that she could think of would do, not even the worst sluts that she had met in high school or college, not even probably those girls in the porno sites, at least not the tame ones. Probably just the whores would do it.

That last thought made her blush deeply, especially as she saw the bills resting in the little table beside the couch. Still naked and hearing Megan in the kitchen, she took the bills with trembling hands and, out of instinct she smelled them, like trying to decide if there were the fruit of her tips, or if they were the payment for the sex she had with four men the day before.

She felt a tingle in her pussy, and could not avoid clenching the bills against her nude breasts. She shivered with embarrassment and arousal.

She heard Megan's voice singing in the kitchen and she felt her embarrassment triple, it was as if Megan knew what she was doing, but it was just a feeling because Megan was busy coking.

Lillian wanted desperately to dress. She tried to open the trunk with her clothes but it was locked, then she looked for Megan's yellow dress but it wasn't on the couch anymore.

She blushed with shame and rage; she will have to put on with Megan's stupid rules of nudity once more.

Reluctantly she walked to the kitchen.

"Morning Sleepyhead!" said Megan cheerfully.

"Morning," said Lillian, her low voice sounded like an angry teenager trying unsuccessfully to conceal her rage from her parents.

Megan ignored the tone and said, "Do you have a hangover?"

Lillian merely rolled her eyes.

"I thought so," said Megan who handed her a glass filled with a red substance. It looked like tomato juice but was way denser.

Lillian looked at the glass doubtfully.

"Just drink it. It will help you. You may trust me; I have a lot of experience in that area."

Lillian started giving little sips to the juice, and it wasn't as hideous as it looked. To her surprise when she was a little more than halfway thru she noticed that her head had stopped pounding and the noises around were way more bearable.

By the time she finished the glass, she was ready to eat the meal that Megan had served her on a plate.

As she felt better she started to feel also more self-conscious to be eating naked in front of the fully dressed Megan. They started to make some small talk as they ate, at some point Megan asked how was her night, but Lillian evaded the question and continued talking about the laundry and other stupid little things.

The ring of the doorbell almost gave Lillian a heart attack; before she could do or say anything Megan marched to the apartment door and let somebody in. Lillian crouched by the kitchen door, trying desperately to hide, and hoping that the guest would leave soon.

She could hear Peter's voice in the living room. Talking and laughing along with Megan. Then she felt her heart stop as Megan said.

"Come on join us, we were eating right now"

Lillian tried to dash to the bathroom, but she practically crashed with Peter and Megan that were entering the kitchen.

"No need to be shy Lilly. Peter knows about your habit of being nude in the apartment, and he already saw the whole you, don't you remember the photo session?"

Lillian blushed, she was trapped as the pair was blocking the Kitchen door. For a moment she just stood there, like trying to decide what to do, but Peter broke the awkward moment.

"Hi, Lilly! It's good to see you again"

"Hi," said Lillian shyly and looking at the floor. She was about to extend her hand, but he approached her and kissed her on the cheek, which felt awkward because she was fully nude and he was of course dressed.

Lillian returned reluctantly to her seat on the table. The worst was that her nipples were pretty hard, and her denuded pussy couldn't hide her arousal.

Megan put a plate in Peter's place and they started eating. Peter and Megan were talking animatedly of some event they were preparing in the office, while Lillian's eyes seemed glued to her plate. She didn't dare to look at any of them in the eye.

"Peter must have the worst image of me. He must think I am a complete slut. If he only could get to know the real me, to know that I am not like this, I am not a slut who wants to be naked in front of people she barely knows..." Lillian thought bitterly.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Megan's voice.

"Ok, Peter it is enough of work talk. It is Sunday and we are boring Lillian to death. As a matter of fact, Lilly was starting to tell me about her Saturday night. Don't You?"

"er... it was nothing... well... I just worked... and get back home...it was a pretty normal night..." she said looking down, and very insecure of herself.

Megan laughed out loud, much to Lillian's embarrassment. She was blushing red.

When Megan finally calmed down enough to talk, she said to Peter

"Lilly needed some money yesterday, so I asked Bruce a favor to employ her at the Ambassador, unfortunately, there were other candidates and she didn't make the cut, so Bruce recommended her with Tim of the Dark Horse, so the last I knew was that she went to work there.

Now, our little Lilly must be proud of herself, she not only made the money that she wanted, but she surely had a lot of fun during or after work.

She arrived home at 3:00 AM; she was pretty drunk and smelling of spunk a mile away. Somehow, like a good slut, she managed to lose the underwear and shoes that I borrowed her, and she even must have had pretty wild sex because both of her holes were dripping semen and her tits were also pretty smeared."

Lillian was blushing bright red, she could not even talk. A few days ago, during the first stage of the photo session, she had earned Peter's respect. He even proposed a serious modeling career. She knew she had destroyed her reputation for him since the rest of the photo session, but today it was even worse.

"Now he knows I am even sluttier outside the studio." she thought bitterly.

"Cat got your tongue?" said Megan amused, "at least answer our questions, but remember, I could get to know the truth, I have friends in both places, so you better be sincere or I would know and it could have consequences."

Despite the threat, Megan's attitude was mostly playful, however, Lillian could not avoid feeling certain fear for what Megan could do. If she used the release form to sell her porn session photos, that could haunt her for the rest of her life. She tried not to think much in the photos that she had posted on her amateur site, even knowing that some of them showed her face.

"It is a low traffic site compared with professional ones, I could make a discrete legal action to have my photos pulled from the site still, and even if that wasn't possible I could still deny that it is me if someone finds out," she still shivered remembering that her little post had more than 4000 hits. If she had known that her photos were already widespread in a bunch of sites and that it would be impossible to pull them from the internet at this point, she could possibly feel more desperate and hornier.

Megan was oblivious to Lillian's thoughts, and she continued the interrogatory.

"Did you have sex at the Dark Horse?"

Lillian nodded

"With customers that you were serving?"

Lillian nodded again, it seemed that her face couldn't turn redder or her nipples harder.

"With how many men did you have sex at the dark horse?"

"Three," came the almost inaudible answer.

"That's my slut. With more than one at once?" said Megan.

"No!"

"Ok. And they tipped you before they have sex with you or after"

Lillian didn't like the path that question will lead, but she answered anyway.

"after"

"So they practically paid you for sex," said Megan with a bright smile.

"No! I waited their table," she said with less conviction than she intended.

"Well. Did you know them before tonight?"

"A couple of them"

"Did you have sex with Bruce?"

"Can we change the conversation please?" said Lillian looking at Peter and then back at Megan. All the revelations were making her relive the events of the day before, and she felt quite embarrassed and even more aroused, especially as Peter was listening to all her shameful answers.

"Don't worry. Peter already knows that you are a slut. There is nothing to be ashamed of," Megan said, then turning to see Peter she added

"Lilly is a cute little slut, but she is still ashamed of it, so she tries to keep her real self a secret from everybody else. That is why we have not sold her studio photos yet. "

"I am not..." said Lillian more out of social reflex than real convincement, but Megan interrupted her, saying to Peter.

"See what I said? Listen Lilly, the sooner that you admit to yourself that you are a big slut, the sooner you can start your porno career. What would you call a girl that have sex with 4 different men in a night, two of whom she had never seen before?"

"a slut," she said reluctantly.

"Did you come last night?"

"yes," she said looking at the floor.

"more than once?"

She simply nodded, she was about to explode.

"So you are a slut and you enjoyed it, but still don't want people to know."

Her answer came from the bottom of her heart.

"It is shameful to be a slut, nobody likes a slut."

"There is nothing shameful if that is what you want, otherwise it means a lack of character, and that is shameful, but if you want to be a slut and you are, well you are simply accomplishing your goals, and that is not shameful. And certainly most men like a slut, you had four yesterday, don't you? And I bet that Peter is dying to have sex with you."

Lillian felt more and more trapped by Megan's logic, it was maybe due to her receding hangover, or because of her horniness, or her confusing feelings, but she was having a hard time contradicting Megan. She wanted that conversation to end, but have no arguments until she thought of something desperate.

"But Karen... I don't want to be a disappointment to her... you know," she felt completely ashamed of saying that, but it was somewhat true, and it was the only idea that she had to stop that craziness.

"Now I see your point, Lilly. Fortunately, I can help you"

"Thanks, Megan," said Lillian finally relieved, but to her surprise Megan said

"The point is that you and Karen had very different paths ahead, trying to be what she wants you to be will only lead you to failure. Listen, Karen didn't have the guts to enter the porno industry, at my begging she only did a little very conservative nude studio that she kept mostly for her. When the money got tighter I pressured her to go for an audition but somehow she blew it, I think she probably chickened out. Now she is happy while pursuing a business career, it looks like her true call. But you don't have to be as prude as her just to make her happy. I bet I can make her understand, but you have to stop looking at her as a role model because you are not her. You are not a career woman; you are a very slutty little girl with a great future in porn."

Lillian felt ditzy, these people thought that Karen was an unreachable role model for her.

"Listen, Lilly, I bet you had sex with more people just yesterday than Karen in all her life. I am a lot less prudish than Karen, You know I even worked for the porno industry for a while, but I never enjoyed a photo session as much as you enjoyed yours, and I never have sex with more than a couple of persons in a day."

Lillian was feeling worse by the minute, "Am I such a slut?" she thought bitterly.

"The only way for you to be happy is to break apart from that role model. You have to be yourself, and not a Karen wannabe. You are different, she is a nice prudish, businesslike person, and you are a nice slutty, sexy person," then after a couple of seconds pause she thought,

"I have an Idea, follow me to Karen's bedroom"

Peter and Lillian followed her, mostly out of curiosity than of anything else.

"We will model your new wardrobe after your role model's one. Find me Karen's littlest panties, her shortest short, and her sexiest shirt.

Lillian didn't like the idea but started looking through Karen's clothes and to her surprise she didn't have tongs, most of her underwear was just a bit sexier than grandma's panties, she finally found a bikini panty. She continued and found some denim shorts, whose legs were not more than a couple of inches long, nothing that a college girl wouldn't wear. Lillian started having hope, maybe her argument of bringing Karen to the conversation will finally result in a good thing, maybe Megan would let her tone down her slutty attires. She completed the outfit with a crop top. It wasn't that bad, she normally didn't like to show her navel, and she also used to hate blouses with thin straps because they made it hard to hide bra straps, but as she won't be wearing any bras, it wouldn't be that bad.

Megan made Lillian try each of the garments one by one. She brought a measuring tape and started making annotations in a little notebook, saying out loud what she was writing.

"OK. Panties let a little bit more than 2 inches of your buttocks on display, and on the waist, they end around 2 inches below your belly button."

"The shorts end up around 1.5 inches below your crotch, and a little bit higher than the panties waist, maybe 1 inch bellow your navel"

"The shirt straps are 0.5-inch width..."

"OK, she said, we are going to shop now. We will completely replace your current wardrobe with new clothes that will make a statement that you are pretty different than Karen, even if they are inspired by Karen's clothes. That way you will be somehow following her, but marching your path at the same time. But first, you need to reaffirm your own identity by doing something that you'll love but Karen would never do."