A couple of weeks ago on a Friday night, one of my recent fantasies came true but not how I ever expected it to. My cousin, John and his second wife, Satana (the female version of Satan as my wife calls her. LOL) went out drinking with several friends. They all consumed way too much alcohol and not were in any condition to be behind the wheel.
I was in bed with my wife in a deep slumber when I was awaken by the phone ringing. It was Satana asking if I could pick them up at the bar and drive them home. She asked me to bring my wife's suburban as they had a group needing a ride.
I said, "Give me about 10 minutes to get dressed and I would be right there."
I woke my wife and told her what was going on and for her to go back to sleep as she had to work the next morning. I dressed and left my house to pick them up. When I arrived, I found six drunken people sitting by the building. They all climbed into our suburban and off we went. I dropped off the first couple, then the next couple and was soon on the way to John and Satana's house. I look over and they are both passed out cold. Great -- now I get to deal with this too. When I pulled into their driveway and stopped the car -- I had to find a set of keys to gain entry into their house and neither of them was going to be any help. I finally grabbed Satana's purse and fished out her set of keys. I took the keys and opened the front door before returning to the car to get both of them. Since John was by the door, I grabbed him and dragged him into the house first. He made it to the middle of the living room before he vomited on my jeans and shoes. I was pissed off now but it was too late to do anything but continue on into the bedroom where I dropped him onto the bed.
I went back to the car to retrieve Satana before I lost my temper. I managed to get her into the house and into the bedroom without getting more vomit on me, so that was a good thing. With both of them passed out on their bed I went and cleaned up the mess in the living room. I decided it would be best to call my wife and let her know what happened and that I would be a little while as I had to get cleaned up and wash and dry my jeans. Since she had to leave for work soon and I did not want to get any vomit in the car, I needed to wash and dry my jeans. I told her to go ahead and drive my truck to work and that I would switch vehicles later if I needed to. She agreed and we said our goodbyes.