Author's note: Hello everyone. I am sorry for my tardiness with chapter I have been in hospital again but am on the mend once more although my writing is considerably slow for which I apologise. Again, I am grateful to MsSensualiT for her continued help to be my second sets of eyes. I hope those of you who enjoy this series continue to do so. ~ellie.
Marcella felt Noah slide from the bed sometime later. She didn't open her eyes or make any movement that would show she was awake and aware of his movements. She burrowed slightly deeper under the single sheet covering her nakedness until she heard the shower and the tell-tale change in the rhythm of the water that told her he was under the water. She quickly gathered her clothes and dressed. She hoped to make it back to the room she had been given in the main house where she could shower alone and get away from the man her muddled her mind and made her lose focus on what she was doing here. She had to concentrate on what she had to do to ensure the safety of the people she cared about, including him.
The door opened, easily swinging on silent hinges as she made to leave the pool house before Noah got out of the shower. Neither of them had slept more than to doze fitfully before he rose. Her scrambled brained was so concentrated on the sound of the shower and Noah within it that she barely noticed the man who stepped into the doorway before she almost ran into him.
"Can I help you with something Miss Gambaro?" the man asked.
"Oh! No, thank you, I was just going back to my room to shower," she stumbled over her words. "Although if there's coffee available, that would be welcomed, too," she added and stepped through the door closing it quietly behind her. She was determined to make it to her room despite the giant blocking her way, and before Noah came after her and the arguments started again. "You could also tell the man still inside here that I don't want to fight with him this morning, please.
"I'll be sure to get that message to him," the man said with a slight smirk. "There will be coffee available in the kitchen on your way to your room, Miss Gambaro. Enjoy your shower."
Marcella hurried toward the house, and she noticed a second man wearing the same black pants and white shirt strangely threaded with gold was following her. Were they watchers? Had the Farnese put watchers on her, so she didn't run straight back to Konrad? More likely, Noah had done it to ensure she didn't try to leave without him again. It was going to be yet another day of fighting with him. She knew she didn't want to keep going down that road, and for her, the only option was escaping him and these people to gain her independence again.
She could and would protect them, only they didn't want that. They had thrown her protection back at her, and tried to turn the tables to protect her. She didn't need their protection! They needed hers! They had always needed her to step in and protect them, whether they knew it or not.
For now, she would be happy with some coffee and a peaceful shower to sort out her plans. She needed to get to Perth. That was the priority, so playing along with Xavier and Noah to get there seemed the best option. She just had to decide what to do once she got there and had the means to pick up the pieces of her shattered life to become independent again.
She could come back here to look after Jessa and the boys. Not that Jessa would want that, and the Farnese would only call Noah again. Olivia didn't need her anymore; that much was obvious. Maybe it was time to take her mother in hand and get her the help she needed. It was too late to help her Aunt, and that fact wrenched at her gut, but her mother was still redeemable, wasn't she? She could fight for her mother if these people didn't want her protection. These people, she growled, picturing Noah as he had been the night before, ranting and raving at her as if she was a naughty child in need of scolding.
Marcella was still stoking her anger at Noah continually interfering in her life as she walked into the kitchen and found Olivia and Vivienne in there waiting for her. Her hands went to her hair, trying to smooth down the foreign blonde locks and backed out without saying anything at all. Fuck, she wasn't ready to face them, fight with them, not Olivia and Vivienne. She only wanted to help them, not be supported by them. She didn't need their help! If she could make it to her room, she could shower, change and prepare herself for the confrontations she would have to face with her sister and Vivienne.
"Marcella, wait!" Olivia's voice rang out behind her, but she just turned and ran up to her room, hearing a curse and heavy footsteps behind her as someone hurried after her. Closing and locking the bedroom door behind her, Marcella let out a long breath. She needed a shower and some space to think. They could all just wait to yell at her again. It didn't make any difference at this point; she had limited choices about what she could and would do. She ignored the knocking on her door, cursing at being trapped in this place despite knowing she was at the mercy of their goodwill to get back to Perth. She headed into the bathroom.
The shower's hot steamy water was a balm to her body. Now that she was calmer and in her own space, she could think about more than escaping Noah and the others. The mild pain of her bruised body now took her attention. She was marked from her night with Noah, and she could remember every delicious moment of how he had claimed her body as his. The smaller, softer voice within her mind purred at the sensations and the memory of claiming him in return in a moment of weakness. Still, it was quietened as her fighting warrior side growled her disapproval.
If only she could give in to that feeling, but she knew it was never in her destiny to be loved like that. She was broken and incapable of the sort of love he wanted and deserved. He needed a woman who could open her heart fully to him, and that wasn't her. The thought saddened her as her quieter voice spread warmth and reassurance through her that she could be that woman if she wanted to be. Then she had a momentary vision of him looking into another woman's eyes the way he looked into hers, which made her feel sick. She pressed her hand to her belly as the warrior voice inside her mind growled out her reminder that she was strong and could overcome anything thrown her way.
Her dual personality borne from a lifetime of suffering went to war within her mind, refusing to come together for the greater good as they had before when she escaped her family home and the dark influence of the Tables. Letting her legs relax beneath her, Marcella slid down the wall and sat beneath the shower spray with her head down and eyes closed. Her head hadn't been this full of inner voices since she had chosen emancipation and education over a life of subjugation. Marcie had made that decision and saved herself, but Marcie was gone now, ripped apart again. Now there were just her broken halves.
When she had gone to Darwin, Marcie had embraced her warrior side while staying in control. She was there to save her sister, after all. Since meeting Noah and the rest of the Zenati, including Vivienne, she had become a basket case again, her inner voices fighting for dominion. Marcie grew to like the voices of her conscience, which were never drowned out or subdued by her circumstances and who she needed to be at any given time. She knew both the warrior and the submissive well. Still, she tried to focus on that third tiny voice of reason which brought the two together, her sense of self that was Marcie. Only Marcie's fragile blend of egos drowned in despair at her current circumstances and knowing there were few options available to her.
The warrior Marcella raged at her wanting to tackle the world alone. She needed no one and nothing. She could save them all and be home in time for dinner if she would just let go of the others who crowded her brain and another tiny voice asked, "At what cost?" It was the warrior within her that had brought her to this. Perhaps it was time for her to rest and let someone else drive the agenda while she calmed down and took stock of the consequences of her actions.
"I can rest for a day, maybe at least until we get to Perth. Fighting here will accomplish nothing but delay our return to life as it should be," Marcella agreed with her conscience as if talking to a completely different person. All the while, the soft voice within her mind spoke gentle reassurances to her as she took control of their life. The warrior would always be there when they needed her. It wasn't as if she was defenceless without all that self-confidence and bravado. She could protect herself in other ways, and she drew a deep breath lifting her head and letting the spray of the shower wash over her face. Taking one last shuddering breath and allowing a small smile to escape her lips, Chella stood up and turned the water off.