Sally-Mae was home alone when she got the call.
"Sally-Mae, it's your Pappy done speaking. Now listen, that damn Sheriff done arrested me. He reckons I own a moon-shine still and wants to know where it is. Aint that the craziest thing? I done told him I don't own no still but he just pure don't believe me. Where'd you get that jar of moonshine I found in your truck, he wants to know? Was a gift, I told him. Couldn't rightly remember who gave it to me.
He still stuck me in a cell and said he's going out there to search the place. If he asks you where the still is, you don't know nothing."
"Well, Pappy, it's easy for me to not know nothing about where your still is 'cause you done moved it and didn't tell me where."
"I did no such thing. I never owned no still. And you shouldn't have been pinching the 'shine from it. That's why I moved it. Or why I would have moved it, if I'd ever owned a still, which I hasn't."
"Well, when the Sheriff gets here I can just look him in the eye and tell him I don't know where your still is, if you had one, which you aint. Um, Pappy?"
"What?"
"If the Sheriff done locked you in a cell how come you are able to call me?"
"Well, it might be because the Sheriff's little phone fell out of his pocket when he wasn't looking and I sort of borrowed it."
"Yeah, well you'd better not have it when the Sheriff comes looking for it."
Call over, Sally-Mae continued with what she was doing, grumbling to herself. "Don't tell the Sheriff where the still is. Pappy, you must think I'm an idiot. If I knew where it was I might just tell the Sheriff just to teach you not to hide it from me. As it is I have to tell the truth and say I don't know. It don't seem right, telling the truth to the Sheriff."
It was a couple of hours later that the Sheriff arrived. Expecting him, Sally-Mae still got a surprise. She met the Sheriff at the door.
"Two cars?" she asked. "Has Pappy done something bad and you're after him in earnest? Usually you just use one car to arrest him."
"We've already got your Pappy locked up. I'm here with a search warrant to find his still. Billy has come along to help search. Why don't you save us a lot of trouble and tell us where the still is?"
"Still?" asked Sally-Mae, smiling. "Them things are illegal. I'm sure Pappy wouldn't have one. If he did, he'd never tell me where it was. He reckons I couldn't keep a secret, being a woman and all."
"Now don't you be lying to the law, Sally-Mae. Everyone knows that your Pappy has a still. Why not make this easy on yourself and just tell us where it is?"
"Everyone knows? Not everyone, because I sure don't know any such thing. Still, talking about what everyone knows, did you know that Billy has a still in the shed back of his place? It aint Pappy's still, as he don't have one, but it's a still. Have a look and you can arrest Billy. Hell, he can arrest himself and drive himself to jail in his very own police-car."
"That's a lie, Sheriff. There isn't any still in my shed. You know there isn't."
"How does he know? Did you move it before he came looking? Awfully sneaky of you, Billy."
"Now don't you go trying to confuse me, Sally-Mae. We aren't here to talk about Billy owning any still, which he'd better not have. We're talking about your Pappy and his still. If you don't tell us and we find it anyway we'll have to arrest you, too. You're an adult now and could go to prison."
"Arrest me? For not knowing that someone is breaking the law? Since when was that illegal? Won't happen, anyway, 'cause Pappy aint got no still. I keep telling you but you aint listening."
"Well, you listen. This is a search warrant and we're searching the place."
"Knock yourself out, Sheriff," said Sally-Mae with a smile. "Just wipe your feet before you come in. You, too, Billy."
It only took five minutes for the Sheriff to check the house. Not much more to check the few out-buildings. No still was detected. Back to Sally-Mae.
"Listen, Sally-Mae, we're going to keep searching until we find it. Why don't you be a good girl and just tell us where to look. We won't tell your Pappy you told us."
"I know you won't, because I still don't know. I guess you'll have to search the entire property. Don't worry. There's only a hundred acres of brush and trees. You might get lucky. One thing. Our boundaries aren't marked. If you find a still out there, which you won't, how will you know it's on our place?"
The Sheriff gave Sally-Mae the evil eye and said nothing. He was beaten and he knew it. Billy stepped in and threw his boss a life-line.
"Listen, Sheriff, things is fairly light right now. Why don't you go back to town and I'll stay here and look around. I might strike it lucky. You never know, I might even coax Sally-Mae into telling me where it is."
The Sheriff departed, Billy and Sally-Mae watching him drive off.
"No good trying to sweet-talk me into telling you anything about any old still," Sally-Mae told Billy. "I done told you, I know nothing."
"Your Pappy done caught you raiding the moon-shine and moved it without telling you, didn't he?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"So it wasn't you who sold a Mason jar of moon-shine to them tourists? They gave me a pretty good description."
"I still have no idea what you're talking about. Pappy hasn't got a still so how could I be raiding it?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. What for did you tell the Sheriff I had a still in my shed?"
"Um, the fact that you do have one there probably helped."
Billy grinned and looked Sally-Mae over. It was a warm day and all she had on was a light dress. He was willing to bet that, in fact, that was all she was wearing. The way her breasts bounced when she moved screamed no bra.
"Anyway, I had no intention of sweet-talking you into telling me where any old still is. Matter of fact it would be better for the Sheriff if he didn't find it."
"I know it would be better for Pappy if the Sheriff didn't find no still, but how would it be better for the Sheriff?"
"He'd have to break it and charge your Pappy. No more top quality moon-shine available. He'd be voted out at the next election sure as shooting."
"So if you don't want to find the still and have no intention of sweet-talking me, why are you still here?"
"I figure I need to paddle your tail for telling tales on me. You really should have kept quiet about my still. The Sheriff will think it over and then go and check my barn. It will look bad."
"So maybe instead of bothering me you should be running home and hiding your still."
"Already done," said an amused Billy. "When the Sheriff announced his crackdown on stills I dismantled it for a while. This leaves me free to bother you."
Before Sally-Mae caught on to what he was doing Billy had seated himself on the edge of the veranda. At the same time he reached out and caught Sally-Mae's arm, dragging her over his lap. Her dress flew up as she landed and Billy smiled. He'd been right about nothing under the dress. One hand holding Sally-Mae firmly in place, his other hand was helping the dress to move higher, tugging it up and over her head, ignoring Sally-Mae's vociferous protests.
To Sally-Mae it seemed as though one moment she was standing there, having a few shots at Billy, then she was lying across his lap, naked, her dress resting on the veranda.
"Damn you, Billy," she raged. "What do you think you're playing at?"
The answer came with a firm spank on her bottom.
"Exactly what I told you, Sally-Mae," said a laughing Billy. "Paddling your tail for telling stories about me. Such a cute little tail it's almost a pity to paddle it. Almost."
He proceeded to demonstrate that almost meant Sally-Mae got paddled. His big hand came down hard, landing with a loud swat on Sally-Mae's bottom. She kicked and squealed and generally lost her temper. Billy laughed harder and continued spanking.
"Tell you what, Sally-Mae. When you stop wriggling and shrieking and carrying on and just lie there quietly I'll consider calling a halt. Until then. . ."
Sally-Mae told Billy just what she thought of him in no uncertain terms. Billy continued to spank her. It took a couple of minutes but it eventually dawned on her that Billy was serious. As long as she made a fuss he'd continue the spanking. Seriously angry she forced herself to swallow her pride and lie still. A couple more swats and Billy relented.
