Kurt was in a fragile state when he met Kim. Newly-divorced, he was lonely and starved for good sex. He found it with Kim - and he found out things he didn't like about himself. Part 1 of 4. All characters are adults over 18
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I felt awkward during my first session with the therapist.
"This is hard to talk about," I told Dr. O'Connor. "I feel very disappointed in myself when I remember my relationship with Kim. I didn't act like I should have. What I remember seems like something done by a different person."
The doctor looked unperturbed. I suspect she has a lot of experience keeping a straight face while listening to bizarre things. "The fact that you feel this is something you need to discuss with a therapist is significant," she said. "Coming to see me signifies your willingness to take responsibility for your actions.
"We know there's a great deal of benefit associated with simply telling another person about a traumatic event. Your story might be hard to discuss, but it's the best way to process your unresolved feelings. It's how to get closure."
Closure sounded good. I haven't dated anyone since I stopped seeing Kim. I'm afraid to. Thinking about the things I did without Kim's consent makes me very uncomfortable. If the only way to move forward is to dredge through the story, I guess I have no choice.
"I was introduced to Kim by a coworker," I began.
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The guy who set me up with Kim told me later he had a reason. "I wanted to get you laid," he said. "After your divorce, I figured that you needed some pussy, and I knew Kim would give it to you."
He wasn't wrong. On our first date I decided that Kim was a charming and beautiful woman I wanted to know better. When I took her home, she invited me inside. Things were going so well I pulled her into a passionate kiss as soon as she closed the door behind us. It didn't take long for us to go upstairs and have the best sex I'd experienced since before I married my ex-wife, who was a bit of a dud in the bedroom.
Kim liked me as much as I liked her, and we immediately began having a hot affair. I spent a lot of nights at her house. She liked sex more than any girl I'd known. It was exactly what I needed - at first. I'd been deprived of good sex for so long that I was hungry for it, and Kim was happy to appease my appetite. We'd have sex, take a break, have sex again, take another break, and continue for hours at a time.
"I'm so glad I met you," I told Kim. It was true. She was a smart, fun woman who didn't make a lot of demands - at first. But what I really liked is that she never grew tired of having enthusiastic, energetic sex. It was marvelously uncomplicated for a long time.
Our relationship took a wonderful turn after an unexpected development.
During the first few days, we had sex over and over, but Kim never had an orgasm. Not once. Every woman I'd known before Kim would climax if I just stayed hard long enough and paid attention to her clit. That wasn't enough for Kim. My male ego didn't accept the idea that I couldn't make her cum, so I finally asked what I was doing wrong.
"You aren't doing anything wrong, baby," she said, smiling sweetly. "I love what you're doing. It feels fantastic. I just don't have orgasms. It doesn't bother me, so don't let it bother you."
The story Kim told was sad. She hadn't experienced an orgasm of any kind until she was over 30. She'd been sexually active since she gave up her virginity at the age of 18, and she had lots of boyfriends over the years, but none of them could make her climax. She grew increasingly dissatisfied with this situation and decided to fix it. She read feminist literature about the topic, and she realized her boyfriends weren't giving her clit nearly enough stimulation.
Long story short, she eventually figured out a way to climax during sex. Sort of.
"I'll show you!" Kim said with a big grin. "You'll enjoy this!"