Another shell blast forces me to take cover. And another one. The other women with me are running around screaming. A sniper shell hits Sarah in the back and she falls in front of me. I scream for everyone to lay down and cover their heads. Sarah is screaming in pain. I wish there were something I could do for her. She just turned 20. I hold her hand and try to comfort her. It's hopeless I know. She's lost a lot of blood. She looks up at me with a tear-stained face and whispers, "thank you." With that, she rolls her head over and dies.
There is no time to mourn her. The shell blasts keep coming. We are innocent victims. Well, not totally innocent, but we only did what we had to do to survive. Sarah's death was the one thing that made me strong enough to do what I had been contemplating. I pull the bedsheet off the bed with a little bit of help. I then go to the window; taking a deep breath I open the window and hand hang the sheet out. Perhaps, they will see it as a token of surrender. Perhaps, they will offer us mercy. Anything would be better than what we have had to endure for so long.
The shooting stops. Bravely, I shout out the window, "We have no weapons. We don't want to fight. We want to leave here." There is a lot of talk, and then a voice calls saying we can walk out of the building, but we must walk out with our hands visible. I don't blame them for that. We have done many terrible things for our captors.
I gather the girls up, some younger than Sarah, but most 18-20. I'm the oldest at 36 and have been here the longest. I pick Sarah up and carry her out with us. I want her be buried properly and pray these people will do that. This really is the only way for us to be free, really free.
The soldiers take her from me, promising she will be taken care of. For some reason, I trust them. The other girls are loaded onto the backs of jeeps. I'm the last to step up. We don't look back. The soldiers notice this and begin to question me. Their commander stops them saying there will be plenty of time for questions once we get to headquarters.
The girls sleep on the long trip. I watch over them as a mother would her small children. I've always tried to protect them. I never felt like I did a good job of that, until today. While I don't know what will happen to us, I feel safe with the soldiers. A lot safer than I have in 25 years.
A soldier sees me still awake and looking at each of the girls. He takes his jacket off and offers it to me. I thank him and take it, instead of wrapping it around me, I lay it over Janet. I pick her head up and lay it in my lap as she sleeps, stroking her silky blonde hair. Janet is one of the youngest at 18. The soldier looks at Janet, not the leering look I'm used to seeing, but one of caring. He genuinely seems to care about us.
He offers me some jerky, telling me to let her sleep and for me to eat it. He also said there would be plenty of food for all the girls once we reached headquarters. This man already knew I wouldn't eat it while the girls were hungry. I took the jerky and started to nibble on it. He sat looking and Janet and me curiously, as if trying to figure out why I let her lay her head in my lap instead of one of the others.
I trusted this man, and I have never trusted any man my entire life, since that day 19 years ago. It must have finally registered with him. He looked up at me with knowing eyes. I said, "Yes, she is my daughter. Sarah was also. Twins." I saw compassion in his eyes at that moment. It was finally sinking in that Sarah was dead. I held Janet close to me and started to cry. I hadn't cried in many years.
The soldier, not really knowing what to do, put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. This scared me and I pulled away. He apologized and handed me a handkerchief. A short while later we pulled into headquarters. I saw the soldiers start to help the girls off the jeeps. The soldier next to me said, "Don't worry, I'll take care of Sarah personally." I smiled as best I could as he climbed off. He offered me a hand and helped Janet and me off. He then walked over to Sarah and picked her up gently and carried her into the building. No one had ever shown me such kindness before, not without wanting something in return.
The girls and I were led to a big dormitory style room. Shown the showers and fresh clothing to wear. Since I was obviously the oldest, the commander spoke with me briefly while the girls took their showers. He told me to shower and eat and he would send someone to escort me to his office shortly. He also stressed for us not to try to escape because if we did, we would be caught. I gave him my word that we would not escape and thanked him for the meal.
Lieutenant Anaxandros, the soldier from the jeep, smiled at me a couple hours later. I was glad that he was going to be my escort. Janet held onto me begging me not to leave her. I told her I would be back soon and not to worry we were all safe now. She was scared of all the men and I don't blame her. Rhonda came over and took her hand and led her away. I could hear her screaming for me as Lieutenant Anaxandros and I walked towards the commander's office. He looked at me knowingly.
I asked him if he was a father. He said no, but his eyes told me differently. There was no time to question further, because we reached the commander's office. I wanted him to go in with me, but he wouldn't. I felt safe with him and told him so, almost begging him to accompany me. The commander saw this and told him to come in. A change in protocol, but a necessary one. The commander thought I would be more apt to tell him everything if Lieutenant Anaxandros were there with me.
My defenses were up naturally. For 20 years, I had distrusted men and their motives. After several tense moments, the commander spoke, "The deceased girl has been taken to the morgue to be prepared for burial." Tears started running down my cheek. Anaxandros noticed and handed me another handkerchief. "I understand how you feel. Soldiers are lost in the line of battle all the time."
"You don't understand. Sarah wasn't some soldier. We weren't fighting. You and your soldiers were fighting." I retaliated. I did not want my daughter's death to be trivialized in that way.
"Sir, with all due respect, the deceased girl was her daughter." Anaxandros said. You could almost hear a quiver in his voice as he spoke. He was afraid of what the commander would do to him for his insubordination.
"I see," was all the commander said. "I'm sorry for your loss. However, we must continue this interrogation." He looked at Anaxandros with eyes as cold as steel. His look told him that he had better not do that ever again. "Now, tell me why you have engaged yourself and these girls into a life of prostitution and drug dealing. Including your own daughter. Also, tell me whom you work for. If you corporate, your sentence will be light."
I didn't know where to begin. I should've guessed he thought we did all this because we wanted to. He didn't have any idea. I sat there a moment and let my mind go back to the time when I was a young girl. It seems like a lifetime ago.
My father had lost his job. Mother couldn't work. There were so many of us children. I was the oldest; it always seems that way with me. Father became desperate. The crops were failing as well. Mother had planted some vegetables as a way to help with the costs of raising 11 children.
One day, a man in a fancy car and a fancy suit came to see father. They walked down the path so they could talk alone. I didn't like the looks of him. I had to help mother with my siblings. My father came back up and the man stood beside his car. My father told me that I was going with him and that I had to do whatever I was told. I started to protest. Mother protested saying she needed my help with the younger children. Father told her that the man paid a huge sum of money for me and it was more than enough to hire someone to care for the children. I couldn't believe what I had heard.
I tried to run away, but father was too fast for me and soon caught me. He picked me up and carried me to the man's car. The man handed father a suitcase after he put me in the car. I was kicking and screaming. The man hit my face so hard I thought my head was going to break off. He told me that if I didn't stop, he would tie me up and gag me. I belonged to him and I was going to behave myself. I whimpered a little, but kept quiet. I looked back to see father open the suitcase; it was full of money. I cried.
We stopped at a warehouse. I was pulled out of the car so hard my arm hurt. There was nothing else I could do but follow him. He threw me into a small room and locked the door behind us. I was scared before, but now I was terrified. "Take off those clothes, girl." I stood there trembling. "Take them off now or I'll rip them off and beat you afterwards for not obeying me. You will do whatever I tell you to do, or you'll be beaten." I still stood there; too terrified to do anything.