The Reluctant Wife

Naked and covered in sweat, I sat on the Sybian rutting like a bitch in heat. Leaning back on the little chair thingie that comes with it, I pushed myself down as much as I could, wanting to feel those delicious vibrations from the bumpy pad on my aching clit. Inside me the bulbous cock churned in maddeningly steady circles as it massaged my G-spot towards yet another toe-curling orgasm. Reaching forward, I turned up both controls a little. Enough fooling around.

For four days, I'd resisted what I was doing now. I knew what sort of danger it was putting me in, but that first ride on the infernal machine had made a second ride inevitable, one where I could control what it did to me, not my husband. There were subtleties to this a man couldn't understand.

Leaning back even further, I churned my hips forward and up rhythmically, and again got lost in the sensations of another advancing orgasm.

Since I had left work early, covering my tracks with the excuse of an appointment with a client, I had the house to myself for several hours. I knew my second ride needed to be done for me alone. If James were watching, I would be too inhibited, too afraid to let myself go. I would not learn what I needed to.

I wondered what my husband and cousin would think if they could see me humping this machine as if my life depended on it: a bitch in heat. That term was beginning to seem more apropos.

The Sybian rotated and vibrated on and on, tirelessly. I really loved this female pleasure machine.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

In one short week, my whole carefully-planned life had been turned upside down and everything shaken out onto the floor. It became obvious pretty quickly that what I had constructed, the way I'd put things together, had all been based on what I

thought

I should do, and very little of that was actually real and genuine about me.

Naturally, this had come as quite a shock. Basically, with the help of my long-lost cousin, Amy, I'd come to realize that been living in a 1950s dream world. Beaver Cleavers mom, I was not!

That first night, as we sat in her comfortable home in California, she'd looked across the room at me and asked simply, "Laura, describe yourself to me."

"What do you mean? Describe myself how?"

"Pretend I don't know a thing about you. Who are you? What are you? What do you believe?"

I thought for a few moments. "Well, first I believe in a God that looks after all of us, who is watching to see whether we're living good lives. And he will punish us if we don't, either in this life or the one after." Amy looked as if she wanted to say something, but kept silent, so I continued, "I'm good at what I do and have worked very hard to get there. Lawyers can sometimes be very ruthless, and while I work very, very diligently for my clients, I refuse to take shortcuts or bully people or use shady tactics. I play hard, but I play by the book."

"And what about Laura the person?"

"I try to always be pleasant to people no matter who they are, and lend them a hand when they need it. I'm kind. I don't tell lies, but I also don't try to hurt people's feelings by being too honest with them. I work hard to keep myself in shape, try to keep a good home and to always support and cherish my husband whom I love very much."

"Now, tell me about Laura the woman."

I stopped, not knowing what to say. Amy gave me room to think, but her stare made it clear she was not letting me off the hook, either.

Her words cut right to the heart of the problem, the split in my personality that I'd felt had always existed, but which had been getting steadily worse as the years ticked by, like a trickle from a pipe that's slowly rusting away. Sooner or later it's going to break and everything inside will spew out.

I was still very, very angry at my husband, James. What he'd done to me that last night I was home was completely and totally unacceptable. I should have been having divorce proceedings started or having him thrown in jail for rape. Yet here I was, on the other side of the country, totally on the fence, trying to find out what I should do.

The minutes ticked by as I thought about what I should say. I could've probably make up a fine-sounding story about a good, God-fearing woman who tries hard to be a good wife, hopes someday to be an equally good mother, a pillar of the community. But it would all be a fabrication, and what was the good of suddenly booking off work for a week (and I'd told a lie about the reason, too!), leaving my husband and then travelling 3000 miles west to talk to my cousin, only to tell her a pack of lies?

"I'm not a good person."

Amy leaned forward. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm not as good as I pretend to be."

"You do things you're ashamed of?"

"Occasionally, but mostly I think about things that I know I shouldn't."

"Tell me about it."

"You know! You were there when it started!"

"So I started you down the path to hell?"

"Yes...um, you did..." I bit my lip. "No, not really." I paused to gather myself further. "That time with you was the first for me physically, but I've had a lot of shameful thoughts about sex since then. It was like it started a chain reaction in my head."

My cousin nodded thoughtfully.

We hadn't seen each other in over ten years, not since the day our parents had made us by sleep bound and naked in a filthy pigpen. I still couldn't help but blush in shame when I thought about what Amy and I had been in the middle of when they'd walked into my bedroom.

"Have you only had shameful thoughts, or did you go further than that?" Amy asked.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

James was a little later than he'd said, having got caught up in traffic. He looked as if he'd had a tough day, and judging by the sheaf of dockets he'd brought home with his bulging briefcase, it was going to be a tougher night.

He took me in his arms and I tried hard to be like the old Laura: afraid of the touch of his warm lips, but even more afraid of my response.

"Tough day, too?" he asked.

"The client from hell. I did get home early, though, so there's a nice dinner."

"That's great. I'm starved."

As he went to the sink to wash up, I looked down at the casserole I'd just taken out of the oven.

"You can do this," I told myself sternly.

Inside my jeans, I could feel myself getting wet. The rides on the Sybian I'd snuck over the past two weeks, not to mention all the loving James had been giving me had certainly had an effect on my libido. Tonight was going to be another step forward in my liberation -- if I could do what I had planned.

We'd had to take four days off due to my period, so I knew James would be pretty horny. I was sure I could pry him away from work for an hour or two. Afterwards, we could work together to complete whatever he'd brought home from the office. We made a very solid legal team.

I'd kept dinner light and had served no wine so James wouldn't get sleepy. While I cleaned up, he went into the study, closing the door. My cunt was tingling now in anticipation.

A wry smile crept onto my face as I put the last of the dishes into the washer and turned it on.

Cunt. What a deliciously naughty word. Over the past three weeks I'd learned lots of others: pussy, quim, box, slit, clit, hot button, cock, dick, pecker, love pole, johnson, and my favorite: fuck. For years, I'd resisted even acknowledging their existence, much less deigning to use them. I still didn't utter them out loud, even when making love to James, but I was screaming them inside my head nonetheless.

"Honey, would you like a small glass of scotch or some port?" James called out.

"Not tonight, and you shouldn't have any either if you want to get your work done."

"A little one won't hurt."

"Don't do it if you know what's good for you."

"I'm a big boy," he laughed.

"All right, big boy," I said to myself, "let's see if you're still laughing an hour from now."

My hands were shaking as I went up to the bedroom to get changed into the outfit I'd ordered online.

As far as everyone around us was concerned, the recent changes in my outlook would always remain a secret between James and me. To that end, I'd bought my own laptop, rather than use my work one. The company didn't monitor what the salaried lawyers did on our computers, but I didn't want to take the chance that someone I worked with might hack it, or even take it. I'd worked hard to become the Ice Queen, and I didn't want to deal with the hassles that would arise if someone found out I was now anything but. The new laptop was loaded with all kinds of information I did

not

want to share with anyone, except with James -- eventually.

In the ensuite off our bedroom, I had my stuff in a plastic box, ready to go. I quickly stripped, put on the studded belt which I shoved down jauntily over one hip. The matching neck band went on next, then I pulled my knee-length, high-heeled boots from the bottom drawer of the vanity. It took only a few more minutes to apply my make-up, much heavier than what I normally used, but far from slutty. Tonight, I wanted to be totally sexy, not cheap. This girl would never do cheap.

Looking at myself in the full-length mirror, I liked what I saw. The most exciting thing to me was that my pussy was red and puffy with desire. That gave me the extra confidence that I needed to go through with my plan.

Stopping at the bedside table on James' side, I removed the handcuffs from the top drawer and the rest of the stuff from under the bed.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

For the remainder of high school, I truly believed that the treatment I'd received at the hands of my relatives and Reverend DeWitt was thoroughly justified. I

had

behaved like some common whore. What Amy and I had been caught doing was a perversion to God and everything I'd been taught. I deserved what had happened to me.

Anytime an impure thought entered my head, I'd punish myself immediately by doing some sort of chore I really hated, and around that farm, there were plenty of those -- starting with mucking out the pigpens.

But I'd also kept Amy's book secret and hidden deeply away for some reason I couldn't explain.

The next time I ran up against my parents' will was when I decided that I wanted to study law at university. They weren't against that, but I know they worried about me living on campus. I finally sat them down and explained that I had learned my lesson. I would be in a girls-only dorm, I would not date and my life would be focused completely on my studies. They had nothing to worry about.

I was as good as my word. I threw myself completely into my classes, stayed away from any social situations, kept to myself as much as possible. I dressed down, too. Still boys and men constantly hit on me, and so I cultivated my "don't touch me" persona. It became my shield and I radiated it everywhere I went until it was almost second nature.

The downside was that my existence was also incredibly lonely. Most weekends while everyone was enjoying the social life of an active university campus, I was either in my room or the library, working hard -- and alone.

My roommate was a lot like me and also came from a very strict family. For the first year, this was great. I had someone I could talk with and I didn't have to eat by myself in the caf. But at the beginning of the second year, she met a boy and soon began to go downhill. At first, it was just dating on weekends and occasionally studying together, but soon Pam and Brad were going to parties and she was staying out later and later. The girl talk between us stopped, too, and I knew there were things she did not wish to tell me.

After Christmas holidays, Pam came back with an engagement ring. She and Brad would not be getting married until they graduated, but their relationship had moved to a new level. I started having to run interference for them on the few occasions that her parents would call, since she also started staying out all night occasionally. That made me really uncomfortable. I've never liked lying.

Then one night, long after I'd gone to bed, Pam slid into the room quietly, but she wasn't alone. From their whispered conversation, I gathered that Brad's roommate had an overnight guest, so out of desperation, she'd snuck him into our room.

"Don't worry," Pam told him. "Laura sleeps like a rock. If we're quiet, she'll never wake up."

"I wouldn't mind if she watched," he answered. "I'd love to get her to join in. She has a hell of a body!"

Pam snorted. "Not our Miss Purity. She's as good as a nun, probably would be if she were Catholic. Anytime sex is mentioned, she blushes furiously and leaves the room. I think she's frigid."

"You were sort of like that, too."

"That was before I got a taste of that cock of yours."

Pam leaned forward and reached out. Unfortunately, Brad's back was to me besides the room being pretty dark, so I couldn't see what was happening.

But I could imagine.

Down came his jeans, then his boxers and Pam knelt in front of him. "This is what I've wanted all night."

For several minutes, I couldn't hear anything but Pam and Brad's moans and slobbering noises. Then he turned a bit, so he could steady himself on the chair at her desk and now I could clearly see her mouth sliding up and down his penis, sucking as if her life depended on it.

I couldn't really leave the room at that point, and what I should have done was roll over to face the wall, but I didn't. I couldn't. I had to see what was going to happen.

Brad was panting hard, telling Pam what a good little cocksucker she was. It was hard to believe she had turned so far away from the righteous path. Here she was behaving like a total slut. It further reenforced to me how dangerous sex could be.

"Pam stop. If you keep doing that I'm going to cum. I want to fuck you."

"Brad! Keep your voice down. You'll wake up Laura."

He came over towards me, shuffling because of the pants around his knees. "She's out cold. No worries."

I'd had my nearly-closed eyes on his bobbing penis the whole time, amazed at the way it looked. His was the first I'd ever seen in the flesh.

They kissed for a bit, then the clothes started coming off. In a matter of minutes, both were naked. Pam was a bit broad in the hips and small on top, but she carried herself well. Brad was a real bean pole, over six feet. I remember thinking that his penis was as thin as he was.

They lay down on the single bed, Brad on top and kissed and stroked for awhilelonger, then he got to his knees between her legs. She drew them back and up.

"I want you inside me. I've wanted it all night." I could see him fumbling around, then she propped herself on one elbow and reached down between them. "Here, let me."

"It's hard to see in the dark!"

"Right. As if you haven't speared my hole in the dark before!"

Then Pam laid back and Brad moved his hips forward. Within moments, they were both moving, kissing and moaning into each other's mouths in an effort to keep quiet. It was too dark to see much of the action, but the sounds and smell of their lovemaking had me hotter than I'd ever been.

I was frozen, scared to be watching and not wanting to miss a thing. I'd begun sweating and there was a tingling between my legs. I knew what that meant and I was determined to resist it.

I lasted a whole 3 minutes before my hand stole into my PJs, finding my own slit, and discovering it very wet indeed.

Brad rutted with Pam through two orgasms without stopping and I was with them all the way, feeling both guilty and exhilarated to be watching. My own orgasm was a strong one and I had to bite the back of my free hand to keep from making noise. I don't know if they would have noticed if I had.

Pam never came with Brad's penis inside her, so when he'd had enough, he rolled to the side and stroked her between her legs, much the way Amy had on the fateful day. Pam came quickly, but not very loudly. I wondered how much she'd enjoyed it.

Shortly before school ended that year, Pam and Brad broke up. She quickly took up with someone else, and I wondered whether that had been the reason. Now she made no secret of being sexually active and was quite often naked in our room. I tried hard to be cool about it, but she knew I was watching and listening when she talked on the phone to her guy. I think she made the conversation racy on purpose just to see my reaction, same with the nakedness. It was a relief when school ended.

She never brought another guy back to our room, though, and as I took the bus back home for the summer, I couldn't decide if I was happy about that or not.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

James was at his desk, completely absorbed in his work. I walked up behind him as I'd done many times before (although always completely clothed!) and leaned over, putting my hands on his chest.

"Tough case?" I asked.

"Oh man, this merger has more potholes than a back country road. I've got a meeting first thing in the morning with them and I don't know how I'm ever going to get it ready."

Rising up a little, I made sure my left breast rested on his shoulder. It took him a moment, but sharp man that he is, my husband quickly figured out that I was at least topless.

He groaned. "Not tonight. I have too much to do."

"How about some fun first? Afterwards I'll help you."

As I'd hoped, one hand went up to my breast and the other reached higher to stroke my face. I was ready. With one pull on his left hand and two quick snicks, I had him exactly where he'd had me a month earlier.

"What the---"

I patted his cheek as I pulled down on his wrists, forcing his arms behind his back. "Relax, baby doll. You won't come to any harm."

With the way I had his arms, he didn't have enough strength to pull them back up. I had a rope ready and used it to pull his arms down further, fastening them to the center support of his desk chair. Another rope around his waist, and he wasn't going anywhere.

Next, I went out to the hall where I'd left the leg irons and the riding crop I'd also bought. I walked in front of James for the first time. He sucked in his breath as he saw my outfit. I knew I looked fantastic and to have him like this gave me a surprising sense of power. Looking down at his crotch, I saw a gratifying bulge as I tightened the leg irons around his ankles.

Picking up the tumbler on his desk, I held it up and sniffed. "Scotch. I said you shouldn't have a drink." I caressed his cheek with the riding crop. "You should have listened to me."

James was struggling to keep the smirk off his face. "What's gotten into you?"

I rubbed his cock thoroughly and lasciviously with my left hand. "Since Sunday night? Nothing, lover boy. But tonight? That's another matter."

I was feeling increasingly schizoid almost like I was outside the room, watching myself do these outrageous things, that as recently as a month ago, I would have believed repulsice and completely beyond me. Here I was prancing about in a bit of black, studded leather with a riding crop and a trussed-up husband. Part of me felt incredulous at how depraved and wrong this was, but the part now in ascendency was incredibly turned on, although equally incredulous at my newfound audacity.

Retrieving something from my handbag in the kitchen, I came back into the study with a glass of water.

"What's that?" James asked as he looked at the little blue pill in my hand.

"Guess."

"I'm not taking that!"

"Oh, yes you are." I answered, grabbing hold of his nose and squeezing. "I'm going to need you good and hard for more than your usual."

He barely lasted twenty seconds before his mouth opened. I was ready with the Viagra and had it in before he could respond. A full glass of water sent it down his throat, causing him to choke and sputter.

"Damn you!"

"No, James. You started this. All I'm doing is turning the tables on you."