The Red Hat Ladies

I really need to get a different job. NO I mean it, I HAVE to get a new job. You see, mine involves flying two to three times per week, and I hate flying.

The crowded, noisy terminals, the bad food, and of course being treated like cattle in the long lines at security.

And don't get started on being in the plane. We PAY to be stuffed into incredibly tiny seats, elbow to elbow with strangers who smell, spill over into my seat, talk to me incessantly, or have to get up to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes.

Want to bet if they wash their hands after? I won't take those odds.

And yet I am in a cab heading to the Reagan National airport, to catch a flight to another God forsaken hole, just to try and sell some more useless things to asshole people.

Do I sound bitter? I hope so; otherwise I would be afraid I was not getting my story across to you.

So I paid the cabbie, camel jockey, no surprise there, and went into the terminal to start another descent into Dante's inferno.

I REALLY have to find a new fucking job.

Curbside check-in, hope they don't lose my samples bag. Wish I could carry it on but it's too big. Fucked up airline rules.

Go to Asshole Air ticket line; stand in line for too long. I look around at the other people in line and notice that most of them are old women with those stupid red hats on.

Great, just what I need, a bunch of cackling old broads. Liver spotted crackling skin, sour old woman smell, and I don't want to imagine the deflated balloons they call tits.

At least the flight is on time.

Stop at Starbucks, pay too much for not that great a coffee, and eat a stale scone. With this kind of business, how do you have stale food? Did they plan it just to piss me off?

Then comes one of my favorite parts, security screening. The long lines, hoping I haven't violated some new fucking rule TSA has put in this week. They must post their job 'want ads' in Monkey Weekly, because all their employees are idiot orangutans.

Finally get to the screening machine, take off my shoes, for fucks sake, and go through the metal detector.

BUZZZZZZZ.

Christ, the machine goes off when I step through. The ugly woman manning the machine asks me in a foreign accent to go back and try again.

BUZZZZZZ.

Shit, ain't life grand? I pat my pockets, take off my belt, and try again.

BUZZZZZZ

"Fuck!"

That got some dirty looks from the other passengers in line. Two more TSA monkeys, a guy and a girl, come take me into the back screening area.

"Sir, we need to do a complete screening of you. Please raise your arms out to the side," the TSA woman said. She used the hand wand and scanned my body.

BUZZZ.

Of course it would be right at my crotch! Shit!

"Sir, we need you to step behind the screen here and remove your outer clothes," the TSA woman ordered.

"What the fuck could be setting off the detector? I don't have anything metal down there, bitch!' I spat back at her.

Not like I have any stupid piercing like the idiot girl I banged last month. Why would you get your nipple and pussy pierced? They think that shit is sexy? Made me want to rip it out, see how that feels bitch. But I wanted to get laid so I didn't.

The TSA bitch was speaking into her radio as I went behind the screen and took off my shirt and trousers. I better not miss my fucking flight!

Both the screeners came into the room, with a third person, a large black woman.

The black woman walked up to me and frowned. "Sir, my name is Ms Brown, I understand you are not cooperating with us. Federal regulations require that you cooperate in the security procedures here at the airport. If you resist, you may be arrested!"

I was standing there in just my boxes, cold and pissed off.

"Look, I didn't do anything wrong, your stupid screeners don't know what they are doing or their machine is broken. I don't have any fucking metal on me!"

She brought out a second wand and ran it over my body.

BUZZZ.

GOD DAMN IT! Of course my crotch again.

"Sir, please remove your boxers!"

"No fucking way bitch! I'm not getting naked for your view, or anyone's view!"

"Detain him!" Ms Brown said

The man and woman grabbed my arms and the black woman lowered my boxers to the floor. They all smirked as they looked at my shrunken cock and balls. The supervisor wanded me again, really concentrating on my ass and groin.

BUZZZZ!

"Lay him over the bench. I will do the probing for contraband," Ms. Brown smiled.

I was roughly dragged over to a padded bench and bent over it.

"Bitch, I will sue your ass off if you touch me!" I tried to snarl, but this was getting out of hand. I pulled my arm away from the woman holding me and turned to the man to fight him off.

I hate fighting naked, so hard to be intimidating.

"Sir! Stop or I will be forced to use the stun gun on you!"

I looked over at the supervisor and saw she had a stun gun aimed at me! Shit, could things get any worse? Oh yeah, the cavity search!

I knew I was about to get arrested if I continued, so I decided to cooperate and see how that went. Couldn't hurt right?

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. It's just been a bad morning. I will cooperate," I said leaning over the bench as the two other agents held my arms down.

The black woman snapped on rubber gloves and put some lube on them. I hate anything touching my ass! She probed my asshole and slipped a finger inside.

Oh fuck, that felt sexy for some reason. PLEASE don't let me get aroused with all these people here! She probed deeper, sliding in and out of my ass. I could feel my erection pushing hard against the bench.

"I can see this asshole likes having his asshole fucked."

WHAT did I just hear? No! Couldn't have.

Two fingers went in and out of my ass. My cock pulsed.

"Lilly, look at this pitiful excuse for a man, likes to have his ass fucked," Ms Brown said as she pumped into me.

This was surreal. It couldn't be happening. I struggled but was held firmly.

"Dan, do you want to fuck him in the ass? I bet that would really thrill him."

Both the other agents laughed at me.

"Turn him over on the bench, I am not finished with him!" she snarled.

I was roughly laid back on the bench, hard cock waving in the air. Since I was so scared, why was I still hard?

My legs were pulled apart. Ms Brown sat between my legs and pushed a finger up my ass again as she roughly grabbed my erection.

"Listen asshole. You are about to be dragged, 'handcuffed and naked' with your pitiful weinie waving in the air, through the terminal, for all to see, back to my office, where you will be arrested and jailed. Do you want that to happen?"

All the air left me. "No maam" I said meekly.

"You are an asshole and really need to be taught a lesson. So listen carefully. Do what ever I say, and you will get on your flight without being arrested. Hesitate and you will regret it for a very long time. Understand?"

"Yes Maam"

"Ok Dan, do you feel like a blow job? Asshole here would love to do that for you."

NO, oh fuck, I didn't hear that did I? Please let me wake up from this nightmare!

Ms Brown had removed her fingers from my ass and was holding the stun gun. Dan was unbuckling his belt.

I can't tell you the details of the next 20 minutes, but just say that none of the three people in that room had the best genital hygiene. I felt disgusted and sick. And Ms Brown took great delight in fucking my asshole as I performed on the other two. The pictures she took of my sucking cock were to insure I didn't report them.

As if I would repeat to anyone what happened to me!

They let me get dressed, but Ms Brown kept my boxers for a 'souvenir'.

"And Asshole, take a lesson here. Be polite and cooperate and life will be better for everyone. Be an asshole and get fucked by DA WOMAN," she laughed.

Even though it was morning, I found the bar and got a drink. OK several drinks.

And I still had the flight to enjoy.

Boarded the plane and found my seat. Between two red hatted ladies, on a plane full of red hatted ladies! At least the day can't get worse than it started.

Finally in the air, I settled back and tried to relax. Why I got an erection from having my ass played with kept turning over in my mind. I was actually embarrassed by that. The rest was just disgusting.

Damn, I was getting hard remembering her fingers.

I was snapped out of my daze when the stewardess came to my seat. She was a very attractive, young black woman.

"Mr. Bard? I am Tanya, your flight attendant. I have a message for you, from Ms Brown. She told me you would understand," she giggled.

Oh shit, oh fuck. NOOOOO.

I opened the note. "You will do everything my daughter Tanya tells you to do, or those pictures will be exposed. And remember to be polite! Have a nice day ASSHOLE!" I looked up at Tanya in shock. She batted her eyelashes and left.

I must have looked crushed, because one of the red hat ladies asked me what was wrong. I started to tell her to shut the fuck up, none of her business, when I thought better of it. Didn't want to start any trouble.

"Thanks for asking, but it's just been a bad day," I told her.

Being polite might have been the wrong move because the old lady started in on this longgggg story about how much she missed her husband, how lonely she was and how young people didn't think old people needed affection any more and how wrong that was.

Maybe I could ask for a different seat.

I had noticed an empty row of seats in the very back, and I asked the other stewardess if I could move. She smiled and took me back. I sank gratefully into the vacant row.

Just as I was getting comfortable, Tanya came back to me with a soda and some pretzels. She took the can of soda and poured it over me!

I bolted up and yelled at her, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Mr. Bard, calm down, I accidentally spilled on you, sorry. But please no profanity!"

She smirked as she daubed at my wet clothes. She handed me two blankets and told me to take off my shirt and trousers, that she would dry them as best she could.

I looked at her in shock.

"Umm, that's ok I don't mind being wet."

"Mr Bard, I asked you politely, now do what I said! Don't worry; you will still have your underwear on. Oh wait, that's right, you DON'T, do you?"

Oh shit, oh fuck, it was still going on.

I tried the best I could to remain covered as I took off my clothes, handing them to Tanya. The women across the aisle watched my gyrations and were laughing. Of course they wore Red Hats.

Tanya came back and leaning over to me, whispered, "Remember be nice and cooperate. Or else!"

She then leaned over to the two red hat ladies and had a long conversation with them. Their eyes kept shooting in my direction with shock and something else in them. Lust?

One of them came over and sat beside me.

"Hello young man, my name is Sylvia. From what that nice young stewardess told me, you need to be taught a lesson. She also told me you like to get it in the ass. Is that right?"

My shock and confusion must have been obvious. Did this old lady just say that to me?

She shook her head and said in a louder voice, "I asked you if you like to get fucked in the ass young man! My husband liked it too, so I know what that is about. I am waiting for an answer!"

I heard many whispers around me as the little old lady's hand gripped my cock. This was surreal.

"If I don't get an answer, we will just find out for ourselves. Agnes, Doris, come help me!" She had tugged off one of my blankets, but I clutched the other to me tightly.

Her two friends, also Red Hats, came over to my seat and giggled. Tanya shot me a look as she came down the aisle.

"Is he giving you ladies any trouble?" Tanya asked .

"Well, he didn't answer my question, but no matter, we were about to find out for ourselves. He does seem attached to that blanket. Could you take it away for us?"

Tanya looked sternly at me and held out her hand.

Oh shit, oh fuck, why was I such an asshole to people?

I handed it to her and everyone looked at my nakedness, with my old lady still holding the beef.

Sylvia, who had my cock in hand, told me to stand up and face the front of the plane. I saw a sea of eyes, topped with their red hats, staring at me.

"Give me some hand lotion Doris, I don't want to hurt him, too much," Sylvia said.

I jumped as I felt a cold bony finger probe at my bottom. A few forays around the rim and then a deeper delving. Her now lotioned other hand re-gripped my hardening cock.

"See girls, he DOES like it. I am getting a reaction already. Oh this is a sensitive one. We will have fun here."

In spite of the embarrassment and who was doing this, I was now fully at attention.

"Wait a second Syl, I thought we were punishing him, not rewarding him. It looks like he is enjoying this too much. I have an idea," Agnes laughed.

She whispered in both the ladies ears and they giggled and blushed.

What were these old women up to?

Sylvia still had that slow stroke going on both sides of me, when she ordered me to lie down on my back across the three seats. I admit I was very aroused and at this point just wanted my orgasm, no matter who gave it to me.

But the ladies had a different idea. Agnes had bunched up her long skirt and was tugging her wide cotton panties down and off. She moved over to me and looked down. I could see her gray pubes, sparsely covering her flapping pussy.

"It has been a very, very long time since I had someone lick my pussy, so you had better do a very, very good job young man!"

Oh shit. Oh fuck! I only dated women at least 10 years younger than me. I liked them slim and fit, no sags, no lumps. Only tight 20-something pussy for me. Until now....

I think the expression is 'did a train' on me. Who knew that old women still liked that sort of stuff?

I never ate so much pussy in my life. My jaw ached, my tongue was about to fall off. The smell of stale talcum powdered pussy invaded my brain.

Enough! PLEASE!

I looked up at the next woman in line. Her dress was pulled up like the others. My eyes were closed as she squatted over me. Then a cock slipped into my mouth!

Oh shit. Oh fuck, not again.

Of course someone had to pick that moment to fuck my ass again. HATED having that in my mouth while I had a rock hard erection.

Hoped the red hat tranny was too old to have an orgasm. Looked up to see Tanya was the one fucking my ass. Like mother, like daughter. She was laughing at me with the slowly hardening cock in my mouth.

Tanya picked that time to really start stroking my cock as she ass fucked me.

"Gather round for the big finish girls! Get out your cell phone cams. Come on I know you girls are modern women."

Sure enough, I could see and hear the clicks of pictures being taken.

I was getting close to cumming, so I stopped sucking. The Red Hat took her cock in her hand and stroked it in time with Tanya. Her cock slapped my cheek with every stroke.

Tanya must have taken lessons from mom, because she had me on the brink in a minute. Red Hat was getting close too.

I came first, my hot goo spurting out in the cold cabin air, burning my skin with shame.

Then Red Hat orgasmed, her cum adding to my mess and humiliation.

I awoke with a surge out of bed. As I fell to the floor, joyfully realizing it was all a dream! Not a dream, a nightmare, a fucking nightmare of epic proportions.

Where had that crazy dream come from? What had possessed me to think those disgusting thoughts? I needed therapy or something.

Then I remembered, I have a flight today. The airport, the crowded plane, all that was ahead of me still.

Then I laughed. I would be the most polite motherfucker in the world. TSA would never get cooperation like they got from me. I didn't even wear a belt to the airport. The cabbie got a great tip.

Say one thing for me, I know how to learn a lesson!