This story is entirely fictional and any resemblance of any of the characters to real people is purely coincidental.
Now it is up to the reader to decide if the fictional applies to the text above or below...
*****
I had put it off long enough. And her last voicemail had gotten to me. Something of "if you don't fix this, I will get a real painter to do this and short-pay the bill."
Even calling ahead was one interaction I wasn't up to. So I just showed up at the end of my day.
Knock, knock. I rapped on the storm door. The loose door rattled in the opening. A light turned on and the door swung open.
"Oh, you decided to come finish my painting project after all?" She said. She wasn't a bad looking woman. A few pounds too many but what was worse, she never smiled. I can't even think of being married to her.
A witty thought came to mind and I considered playing hardball for a second. I thought better of it. All I wanted is this project to be over, and playing along would probably just be quickest. "Can you show me what the problem is?"
"I would be glad to" and without hesitation she turned around and stormed off to the bedroom I painted the week before.
I watched her walk ahead of me. I took the opportunity to really check out her ass. She was wearing a button down long sleeve shirt and off-white pants. And yes, if she just lost a bit of weight, she might even be attractive. Naaah, I thought to myself. No there is no diet that would make her smile or improve her attitude so you would even want to be around her.
In the bedroom she started pointing at some of the trim. "Now look at this!" she exclaimed. "This finish is soo uneven you'd swear you painted it using a dead chicken instead of a brush!"
Oh, I was already annoyed, and while this wasn't my best work, this was really going too far.
"If I had known you would just take this job for granted, and treat me this way, I would have never had you do this." "What a rip-off" she added.
By now I could feel myself trembling from anger.
She pulled the drapes aside and pointed behind the radiator: "And look at this!" "Here the paint doesn't even cover!" "Were you trying to save on paint as well?"
"You bitch!" I yelled and shoved her. "You told me to do this project as fast and inexpensively as I could since you just wanted the room freshened up a little."
She stumbled backwards towards the bed and caught herself on the footboard. It was one of those Pottery Barn designs which looked more like a fence than a footboard.
My hand was on her neck while I pushed her down some more. Suddenly I was all smiling and said: "I think it is time for you to learn a little lesson."
With my other hand I grabbed the robe that was on the bed and pulled the belt out of it. I draped the belt over her neck and under the top rung of the foot board. In a snap, she was tied to the footboard, bent over forward with her face almost on the covers.
"What in the world are you doing?" she exclaimed. She sounded a bit afraid.
"Oh, this stuck up attitude, it needs some adjustment!" I said angrily, but with an air of triumph. "You fat cow, you are going to change your tune in just a second!" I added.
"Cow??" and before she could say more, I interrupted her.
"Yes, COW!" I hollered, as I firmly smacked her ass.
"Ouch! Stop that!" she almost screamed.
Smack! Another flat hand landed on her ass. "That's not how cows sound!" "Cows go Moooo" I said.
"You are in so much trouble young man" She snapped.
Smack, Smack! "Wrong answer" I said. "Wonder how long you will keep this up?"
"Ouch! That stings!" she said with a sound of desperation in her voice.
Smack, smack, smack! "Go Mooooo" I said laughingly.
"Mooo" she finally uttered, hesitantly.
"Good cow!" and I patted her ass, tapping, like you would a dog.
"Now we need to get you more in the cow costume" I said as I started unbuttoning her shirt.
"No way!" she yelled.
Smack, smack, smack! Was the result.