I'd just received the latest guidelines for punishment for the animals in my school. The children are fine. They don't need more than a firm word and a decent guideline. The animals are something else again. Unfortunately, bureaucrats consider the animals to be children. They wouldn't if they had to try and teach them.
This is not to say that the animals aren't smart. They know what punishments are and are not allowed, probably before I do. These newest guidelines are the best yet.
No corporal punishment as spanking teaches the children that violence is acceptable.
No detention after school, as the education board doesn't want to pay overtime for the teacher who has to stay behind to supervise.
No suspension as it's every child's right to attend school.
Ditto for expulsion. No passing your problems on to another school. (Mind you, that last doesn't stop me suggesting to parents that their little darling might be happier at a different school. If they could find one willing to take them.)
It appears that any sort of punishment that might have a positive effect is banned for one reason or another. We, as teachers, have a duty to cherish the sensitive souls under our care, not letting them be bruised by contact with the realities of life. Direct punishment is bad. Advise and guide are the new guidelines. Exactly what sort of advice is left up to us, but I suspect telling a young thug to leave school and go and join up with Somali pirates wouldn't be allowed, even if appropriate.
As Principal, I'm not only supposed to follow these ridiculous rules but make sure my teachers also follow them. The result of this is that when a teacher gets a problem that they should be able to handle by giving some young brute a clip across the ears, they find themselves powerless, and pass the problem onto me.
Quite frankly, I have had it with these absurd limitations. Any bureaucrat who wants to write rules regarding what teachers should do ought to be made to spend a month in the classroom. Right now I had a real nice problem on my hands and I was seething.
I'd had two young ladies dumped on me, and I'm using the term ladies very loosely. These two young sweethearts had been fighting. I don't know what about and, quite frankly, I didn't care.
By the way, when I say fighting, I don't mean that they'd been calling each other nasty names or passing rude notes. It wasn't even a classical case of hair pulling. These two had got right down to it, with a hard punching, scratching, battle. Sandy had a black eye and Heather had some nasty scratches on her arm. Also their clothes were wet, or at least the top halves were. The teacher who broke up the fight knew better than to try to grab them and drag them apart. She'd turned a hose on them.
Interesting after effect of the hosing was a pair of damp blouses that showed off very lacy bras which I was quite sure were not school authorised. The dress committee was rather old fashioned about the girl's uniforms, and that extended to their underwear.
The teacher had dragged them off to sick bay so that their injuries could be treated and then palmed them off onto me for punishment. Strictly speaking, the girls should have been handed over to the Head-Mistress but someone had tipped her off and she left early. My problem by default.
So here I was, staying back after school, trying to deal with this problem, when I would much rather be at the golf course.
"You do know that we're not supposed to be kept after final bell," chirped Sandy. "It's in the new rules."
"That's right." Heather was now willing to back-up her opponent.
I looked at them and smiled.
"Shut the fuck up," I said. "I'll let you know when you can speak."
"You can't swear at us." That gem came from a highly indignant Heather.
"I didn't. It must have been your imagination. And I thought I just told you to shut the fuck up."
This time they got the message and shut up. I opened the folder in front of me. I didn't need to. I'd already read all the information pertaining to this pair of vixens.
"According to this you're both hovering on the edge of failing. One note here, from an unidentified teacher, says you're both smart enough to know how dumb you can get away with. Someone else has noted that you tend to work together to terrorize other students. Natural bitches, preying on the weak, it says. There are a few other unsigned remarks, but they're not as flattering."
"They're not supposed to put things like that on our records," said Sandy.
"That's right." Heather chipped in her two bits worth.
"Shut up," I said. "I haven't finished."
"Now I'll admit that comments like these aren't supposed to go on your official record but you can take heart. This particular folder is your unofficial record and doesn't really exist. I see that you're both eighteen. How come you're still at school?"
"We haven't graduated yet," pointed out Heather. "We'll never get a decent job if we don't graduate."
"According to this," I said, tapping the folder, "you're both already qualified for the sort of job you'll probably be doing. Mind you, that's one suggestion that will most certainly not be making it to your official record. It also says you normally work as a team. How come you got into a fight? No, don't tell me. I don't really want to know."
"Interesting. Someone has pointed out that the only rules you haven't broken are probably the ones you don't know. Or you've broken them and not got caught. You do seem to chalk up a large number of infractions."
"It's not always our fault," protested Heather. "We just don't know all the rules. We lost our rule books. We obey the rules when we know what they are."
"Uh-huh. And you couldn't find any extra copies of the rule book to replace your lost ones. I could have sworn there was a stack of them in the office, available free of charge."
"We do obey the rules if we're reminded," said Sandy virtuously.
"Really? Does that include the no fighting rule?"
Sandy gave me an irritated look but wisely said nothing.
I gave her an evil smile and she suddenly looked most uncomfortable.
"What about the dress code rules? Do you follow them?" I asked gently.
"Of course," Sandy replied, feeling more confident. "You can see for yourself that we're in proper uniform."
"What I can see is that your blouses are still damp and slightly transparent and the bras showing through are non-regulation."
I could see why they were normally friends. Their minds seemed to work on the same wavelength. The two girls looked at each other, then Heather nodded and the both pulled their blouses loose and reach up for their bras. It was quite erotic watching them wriggle out of them without showing any skin. Perhaps they just weren't really aware of how very see-through their blouses currently were. I could see their nipples quite distinctly. Seeing they weren't looking at each other they hadn't noticed yet.
