Jim sat at the bar and chuckled as he watched the video on his phone. Ange had pranked his mate, John, perfectly. His face was a picture at the end of the clip. He clearly didn't know whether to cry with relief that it had all been a joke, and Angela was alive and well. Or rage that he had been so perfectly scammed.
"I see you're enjoying Ange's work," came a drawl at Jim's shoulder. Jim looked round to see John standing there.
"She got you properly. You gotta admit it. Your face at the end. Bloody perfect."
"Aye, it was well done. She even got me to film my own view, and I really hadn't a clue... So, you going leave me standing here, or you gonna offer me a drink?"
"Sit yourself down yer tight git. I'll get a round in."
Three pints later, Jim turned to his friend and asked, "So, revenge. How yer gonna get her back?"
"Oh, I have a cunning stunt in mind. Will take some planning, but I have my opening already."
"Well, spill. What are you up to?"
John pulled a letter from his jacket pocket and held it up.
"This here is a letter from Angela's doctor. Seems she has a rash that the vane bint is worried about. Essentially the letter gives her the all-clear. But I found it before she did, so she does not know."
"So... What are you planning?"
"Gonna set up an appointment with a fake dermatologist. She's going to come up with an entirely different diagnosis."
"You bastard!"
"Me? After what the lass put me through. No man, the cow deserves it."
-*-
Angela sat in the waiting room and studied the magazine. She had found it in the pile of reading matter offered on the low table in the middle of the room. She'd rather be on her phone but annoyingly there was no signal in the room, and no public wifi offered either.
She was concerned that the stupid rash she had shown the doctor had landed her in a hospital clinic. That the appointment had been made by the consultant, and had not come from her own doctor, was unusual too.
John sat next to her, looking even more bored than she was. He had given her a lift over, finding himself out of the office, having been told to use up his holiday by his employer. Just two days, but it meant once they were out of here, they had a long weekend together if she milked this as a 'sicky'.
"Miss Attwell?"
Angela looked up to see a tall woman in a white coat standing in front of her.
"Yes, that's me."
"Wonderful, I'm Professor Boult, but please call me Sally." Looking at John, she asked, "Your husband?"
"My partner," answered Angela.
"How do you do, sir?" The professor held out her hand to John.
"Fine, thank you," replied John shaking her hand.
"Excellent," beamed the professor. "If you could both follow me." The couple followed the Doctor into her office. A nurse waited inside and smiled as they entered. Angela and John seated themselves in two chairs facing the desk. The doctor seated herself behind the desk.
The nurse quietly closed the office door and resumed her position to one side.
"So Angela, your GP referred you to me after getting the tests back from the rash that started on your inner thigh. Is that correct?"
"Yes, he said he thought it would pass in time but took samples to be safe. I must say, I was very surprised to get this referral without a second consultation with Dr Jones."
"That's actually my fault, Angela. I'm running a study on a new treatment for a new bug. As such, I've been screening all dermatological samples sent through this lab. When I got a positive from your sample, I contacted Dr Jones directly."
"That sounds very alarming," responded Angela, her face creased with fear, a hand reaching out for John's.
"I'll get straight to the point, Angela. You have contracted a rather serious infection. It is absolutely not life-threatening. But it could cause, if untreated, heavy scarring, disfigurement or in the most extreme cases blindness."
"Oh, my God! What will happen to me? What does it do?"
"I'm sorry, Angela, I really did not mean to scare you. I want to stress that the symptoms I just mentioned, would only occur if the condition was left untreated. I most certainly intend to treat you, and hope that you will remain completely symptom-free."
"I don't understand. Am I going to get sick or not?"
"Strictly speaking you are sick. The condition is serious, but not life-threatening. There is though, a treatment, and I'll not lie here, the treatment is arduous. However, if you follow the treatment plan to the letter, you ought to emerge on the other side of this event scar-free, and in perfect health."
"What is going to happen to me?" Wailed Angela.
"Before we get to that, let me explain your condition properly and then how we are going to treat it."
"Okay."
"You've contracted a new superbug that is resistant to antibiotics. I'm afraid they are getting more and more prevalent, and they are causing us quite a headache in the medical world.
"Your particular bug has yet to be named. It's part of the Streptococcus family and closely related to what the media likes to scare people by calling the flesh-eating bug. But essentially, yours is a photosensitive bacterium that damages arterial walls. It has several weaknesses, that we can exploit to rid you of this infection. Unfortunately for you, they are mostly physical regimes rather than drug therapies."
"What do I have to do? I'll do anything."
"First, we need to understand how it works. Light, almost certainly ultraviolet wavelengths, triggers the bacterium in your blood. This typically will happen when it passes through the skin or the eyes."
The professor continued, "Once active, it attacks the arterial wall. It is not active in the venal system nor, and we are not sure why, it does not attack the brain, heart or lungs. So the first treatment is simple; you must stay away from strong sources of light."
"Once it has caused a lesion in an arterial wall, the bacterium multiplies in the wound, causing puss-filled swellings and further ruptures. To stop these from developing, we need to keep your skin under compression. Typically a latex rubber membrane is used to do this. We can do this either post-rupture to minimise the damage or throughout the lifetime of the infection to prevent any outbreaks in the first place.
"To stop lesions occurring within your ears, mouth, rectum and vagina, these spaces will need to be kept under pressure similarly to the outer skin. Typically inflatable intrusions into these orifices will suffice, though the rectal item will necessitate a low-volume diet.
"Finally, to protect the aorta, kidneys and liver, the abdomen must be kept under as much compression as does not interfere with respiration or circulation. Also, the lower leg and foot will need extra compression due to the increased pressure when in an upright posture."
"This preventative rubber membrane... are we talking a rubber suit of some sort?"
"Angela, do you play kinky games in the bedroom?"
"What sort of question is that? Erm, no. John and I are not perverts if that's what you mean. Is this some sort of venereal disease?"
"No, Angela, it's not an STI. I asked as your treatment may have been easier to cope with if you had a latex fetish. This condition is so rare that much of the equipment used to treat it is sourced from specialist suppliers, that cater to those sorts of tastes.
"So I do have to dress up then?"
"Yes, Angela you do. Along with not going out during daylight hours, you will need to wear a tight latex suit twenty-four hours a day. You will also have a latex helmet or hood with heavily tinted lenses. The easiest way to compress the abdomen is with a corset. Plus, I will issue you with some specialist boots, that compress the foot and lower leg."
"Oh, my God! How bad does it get, if I don't do this?"
"I have here some pictures." The professor wordlessly handed over the pictures. Silently Angela looked through them. As she handed them back she was trembling.
"So obviously, I'm going to go through with the whole treatment. How long does it last?" She mustered.
"Angela, I am afraid the idea is to keep you under this regime until the bacteria have died. This will take some time. At least six months, perhaps a year, depending on how many lesions we detect."
Angela broke down in tears. "Okay, show me these clothes. We may as well get on with this."
"Angela, I had no intention of commencing your treatment immediately, you'll need to get ready first. Inform your employer, perhaps cut your hair. Plus, it would not be fair to send you home from the hospital looking like a cast member for a sex scene in a fifty shades movie."
"I don't care about that. After seeing those pictures, I don't want to go home unprotected."
"I quite understand Angela." Professor Boult turned to the nurse. "What do we have ready to go with straight away?"
"Nothing now, I'm afraid, Professor. However, I personally have a scarf and shades Angela could use on the journey home. Also, while I technically finish my shift in three hours, I could measure the patient now and be ready for a home visit in about six hours."
"Will that be acceptable, Angela?" Asked the professor.
"Why don't you have anything ready. If you had a diagnosis, why did you bring me in if you're unprepared?"
"Angela, try to be calm. I know this is all very unsettling news. We have nothing ready as the equipment needs to be made to measure. You have been walking around normally up till now. Twenty-four hours are unlikely to make much more difference. Especially as I suspect you're going to go home and stay there."
"I'm sorry, you're right. It's just those pictures are pretty frightening."
"There is no reason to apologise. Really." Sally smiled at Angela. "I'm just glad you are willing to proceed with the treatment. I was worried that you would be unwilling as you are asymptomatic so far. Not everyone is as sensible as you are."
"I'm very happy to be symptomless. I don't want even one of those... those pustule things in the pictures."
"Quite right too. Now, if you can just sign these consent forms. Then you can go with Nurse Vicky, she will measure you and tell you what you need to do to be ready."
Nurse Vicky had opened a side door through which Angela could see an examination table. Angela signed the forms with the offered pen.
Sally continued, "While you two are doing that I'll go over your care with your partner here so he knows what's involved and how he can help care for you at this time."
"Thank you, Sally," responded Angela as she stood and entered the examination room.
As soon as the door closed behind the pair John made a comical face of exaggerated surprise and vigorously fist-pumped the air. Sally just grinned back.
"That was awesome!" Enthused John.
