The story of Vardan Arcanian
The man with the highest score for partnering was also, by sheer coincidence, the most long lived of any of the Test Subjects on the Space Station.
Vardan Arcanian had scored a 770! A 770! That was the highest score which had ever been achieved since the Experiment had begun. Frog had told him that another test subject had scored 750 two years earlier, but it had been a statistical anomaly.
Naturally everyone was very excited as a passing grade was 800. All Vardan had to do was replicate the Experiment again, do just a bit better, and the Experiment would be over! An entire race of human beings would be based off his genes!
Only it didn't work out that way. They reran the experiment an unprecedented five times. He and Donna Sommers generated scores of 760, 750, 760, 740, and 720. They were close, but not close enough! Each time Vardan tried suppressing or amplifying different genotype traits in from his DNA or Donna's. Sometimes he suppressed his creativity to increase Community but that resulted in lower Technology and Art scores. When he tried increasing his creativity the reverse happened. Then he tried increasing his creativity while also increasing Donna's genes associated with humility. That got Art, Technology, and Community increased but Emotionality and Self Awareness plunged. He tried all the different combinations and permutations he could think of until finally after the sixth attempt Graylor told him no more.
"You are an amazing performer, Vardan," he said. By then they knew it was all him, as Donna's scores with other partners had been only middling. Graylor looked at him with solemn reptile eyes. "But we feel you need to try different partners."
Vardan nodded. He hugged Donna and said, "I'm sorry."
She nodded and said, "I understand."
And so Vardan embarked on his own Experiment within the Experiment to generate a passing score.
********
Vardan had been a senior analyst with the World Government Division of Countercultural Norms. For him isolating one psychometric variable to see the effect it was having on the sociological norms of the world was a routine kind of analysis to do. His experience was almost tailor made to help him understand what combination of gene-traits were necessary to get a passing grade.
So he thought.
Donna Sommers, he realized, was primarily characterized by three traits. The first was
lust
. When they partnered they had sex first, which was normal, but after dutifully giving Donna an orgasm off his pistoning cock she demanded another. And then a third, where she cried out as she came. Donna, it was obvious, had quite a strong sex drive.
The second attribute which characterized Donna Sommers was
shyness
. Although Donna had a strong sex drive, she could barely look a man in the eye and mumbled when she talked. She wanted male companionship but she was afraid to seek it out. When they first made love Donna made sure to turn off all the lights because she was hesitant for him to see her naked.
The third attribute which defined Donna Sommers was
selfishness
. There was no money to hoard on the Space Station and there was no need to grab other people's food. No, Donna was selfish in the sense that she only cared about herself. When Vardan talked to her she inevitably steered the conversation to her own interests and concerns, spending a lot of time talking and seeming to lose awareness that Vardan was even a participant in the conversation. And when they had sex, while she demanded three orgasms she never seemed concerned about whether and how many Vardan actually had. In other words, she was inner-directed.
Lust was good for Population Growth but bad for Community. Shyness was good for Community but bad for Standard of Living. Selfishness was good for Standard of Living but bad for Emotionality and Self Awareness, not to mention Community.
And from these traits Vardan had to find another woman who had a slightly different set of traits and hope tweaking them slightly would push him over the 800 scoring finish line.
He started with Lust. After his success with Donna he had no shortage of women who wanted to partner with him. But Vardan was in no hurry, spending a week interviewing candidates. He wanted to see who was best at flirting with him, who seemed to have the strongest sex drive, as well as the other characteristics he sought. He first partnered with Kristi Yamaguchi, who had Donna's lust but less shyness and more selfishness. He got a score of 680 with her. He then partnered with Nancy Kerrigan, who had lust, shyness, and selfishness but also an artistic streak. He got a 690 with her. Then he selected Michelle Kwan, who seemed most similar to Donna in the key traits, which he realized was perhaps was too perfect of a match when he only got a 720 with her, one of his higher scores but, he was convinced, as much a dead end as Donna was.
He tried a succession of other women including Peggy Flemming, Tara Lipinski, Katerina Witt, and Jessica From, each time trying to choose women who were only slightly different from each other in their gene-traits. The scores he obtained, from the mid 600's to the low 700's, made all the girls ecstatic but made Vardan feel depressed.
Where had he gone wrong? Vardan consulted his holographic chart which showed a collection of traits with interconnecting lines labeled with scores. There were just so many variables that it was impossible to be sure what was needed to be done. Finally, his head pounding, he went out to Algeria for some Space Coffee.
He was just sitting down at a table under a redwood tree when Lauren Giancomo and Shelly Rendler double ganged him.
"Hi Vardan," they said.
"Hey," said Vardan.
"How's the work going?"
Vardan had made no secret of his analysis. In fact he often talked about it with others, in the hopes they could spur him into seeing the secret of the winning equation with a new, fresh perspective.
"Slow," said Vardan.
"I know," said Laura. "You've been fucking every girl in every direction of your space compass."
"Laura, that's cruel," said Shelly.
"Yeah, it is," said Laura. "But that's what Vardan needs."
"What? Someone to be cruel to me?" said Vardan.
"Yeah," said Laura, with a smile.
"What she means is, you need to try something different," said Shelly. "What do all these women have in common? You've been trying to get someone almost like Donna but not quite. Why not go for someone really different?"
"I...." Vardan felt so tired that clear thinking was an effort. "If I go too far from the Donna mold, I also stray from the formula for success."
"Except you never quite succeeded with that formula, did you?" said Laura. "Maybe you need to try something different. Very different."
"The two of you."
"Only one of us. Me," said Shelly.
"Actually, I mean me," said Laura. "I'm a much better fuck." She leaned forward to emphasize her ripe melons, as if Vardan needed help in seeing that her breasts were much larger than Shelly's.
"I'm not interested in a fuck," said Vardan, wiping a hand over his face.
"What kind of man are you?"
"He's dedicated," said Shelly. "He's a scientist. He wants to unlock the winning equation. He has his eye on the prize." She smiled at him.
Vardan paused. "You know, maybe you're right."
"Of course I am!" said Shelly.
"He's referring to me," said Laura.
"You two are substantially different from Donna," said Vardan. "Donna was selfish, but you two are
really
selfish, real egotists."
"I could resent that!" said Laura hotly.
"But maybe that's the new approach I need," said Vardan. "Supreme selfishness could solve the Standard of Living problem I've been having with my descendants. Of course, to prevent it from affecting Community, I'd have to overemphasis some of my own traits, like obedience to authority. It just... might... work...."
"Great! When do we start?" said Laura.
"She means, when do we start?" said Shelly.
"Well, ladies... you're both so similar. I really only need one of you."
"Me," said Laura promptly. "If we're both the same, why not do it with the girl whose body excites you the most?" She thrust her chest forward again.
"She's a lesbian," said Shelly, making a face. "When you kiss her, you're kissing another woman's vagina. Is that what you really want?"
"I'm not a lesbian," said Laura.
"Angelika would be surprised to hear that."
"We're just friends."
"The kinds of friends who mow each others' lawns," said Shelly.
"You're just trying to compensate because you have no breasts."
"I have breasts but you're confused because I've never let you see them."
"Liar! That time we got hot and heavy with Craig-"
"Ladies!" said Vardan. "There is another way to solve this."
"Really? And what is that?"
Vardan took a deep breath. "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten...."
********
Vardan and Shelly scored a 680, Shelly's highest score ever but a score which only made Vardan sigh and shake his head. It was plain as day that he could elevate the scores of any woman he paired with but couldn't find a woman who could push him over the top.
And then Vardan became aware of the passage of time. He found that he had been on the Station for nearly 11 months.
11 months!
No one lasted for 11 months. The median time before sudden cellular degradation occurred was between 3 and 6 months for 90% of all Test Subjects. Some Test Subjects powderized in just a few weeks. Some few lasted eight or nine months
But Vardan was the only one who had lasted nearly 11 full months.
The reason why was glaringly obvious. By now few except the most devoted followers of Ajuba believed that Sudden Cellular Degradation occurred at random times. Most believed that the Federationistas only kept those around who were useful to them. That was why they had kept Vardan around for so long.
But now it seemed that Vardan was no longer so useful.
******
"We should terminate this test subject. He has been given more than enough time and test subjects to prove his worthiness," said X.
"He's the best test subject we have ever had. Can we afford to discard him so easily?" said F. "What is the hurry?"
"The hurry is that he is taking up space which could be used by another Test Subject," said M.
"He has had multiple partners with the current Test Subjects and produced noticeable results but has not been able to improve his score," said C.
"Well, then maybe that means he just needs some new subjects to interact with," said F.
"What do you propose?"
"Let me go over the manifest of the Test Subjects we already have in cryogenic suspension here on the Station. Let me unfreeze three of the most promising women and permit him to partner with them."
C gave the electronic equivalent of a sigh. "If we agree to this, then will you terminate him if he fails."
"....yes."
********
Their names were Patty McGregor, Sandra Gaines, and Megyn Reilly, a redhead, blonde, and brunette, all sexy beauties, all in their early 30's.
Their awakening and orientation was a little unusual, a little different from the standard script. Frog and Vardan were there to greet and orient them when they were awakened. They listened with various degrees of stunned expressions as Frog explained the situation to them.
"Let me see if I understand this," said Megyn. "You have kidnapped us from Earth-"
