I hit "submit" before I can change my mind. I don't like to stew over my chapters for days at a time. My readers don't like to wait so long, and besides, it rarely improves my writing. I find that one or two edits are enough or else the writing will be overworked.
However, this particular chapter is different.
For the last two years, I've been posting dark romance stories on a platform called Anonymous Sins. I use the pen name "Evie Sinclair" and have been for so long that sometimes I feel like I really am Evie, rather than Rebecca.
Evie is edgy and hot. Evie is seductive without trying. It's why my stories have found so much success, in my opinion. My writing comes from my own brain, yes, but it also comes from Evie's.
A notification pops up on my computer. I've already received one comment from a longtime reader.
"Yay! I was wondering when you were going to post!" I read aloud. "Saving this to read later tonight before bed."
I lean back in my computer chair, hoping my readers won't be disappointed in the plot twist of this latest chapter. The main character, Xandi, has escaped from the billionaire who's been holding her captive. Most of my stories would end with our darling damsel falling in love with the captor. It's a bit tragic when you think about it. But it's what I write, and that's what my readers adore.
Until Xandi.
I don't know what came over me, but I wanted her to escape. I wanted her to break free and find her happy ending on her own. I never felt so attached to a character until I wrote Xandi. Maybe it's because she's more like Rebecca than any other character so far. She's me.
I go to bed that night feeling uneasy, like I've posted a raw diary entry rather than a fictional story chapter. I wish I could go back and delete it. I guess I still could, but it's already garnered over fifty likes in such a short time.
***
Xandi feels herself soften as Sterling's thumb runs across her jaw. Her blue eyes flicker upward to look into his brown ones, and in this dim light, they almost look black. It makes her shiver.
"You are my very best girl," mutters Sterling, looking down at the woman by his feet. "You know I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you."
Xandi nods. "I know. I know you wouldn't."
The fireplace crackles just beyond where Sterling sits. He takes a big swig of whiskey, and Xandi presses her head against his leg. He strokes her long, dark hair, and for a moment, a feeling of doubt swells up inside Xandi. She could stay here. She could be Sterling's best girl, his pet. She could live in this beautiful home and want for nothing.
Except freedom. It's the one thing Sterling could never give her.
Sterling puts two fingers under Xandi's chin, lifting her face. "Come on up here," he says quietly. "I want to make love to you."
As Xandi's naked body straddles Sterling's lap, her mind replays her plan.
Again.
Again.
Again.
***
I wake up to what sounds like tree branches scraping against my bedroom window. That doesn't make sense. I rub my eyes and sit up. When I look over, I can see something hitting against the dark glass. Pebbles.
I walk over to the window and peer down. He's staring up at me. I swallow the lump in my throat and lift open the window.
"What are you doing?" I hiss into the cool night air.
"I'm here to talk, Rebecca. Or should I say, Evie?"
My throat tightens. I can't read the expression on Andy's face. "Talking at one in the morning?"
He laughs. "What better time than now? I tried ringing your doorbell, but it seems to be out of order."
I sigh. "One second."
I throw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, slide my feet into some sandals, and run downstairs. I open the front door to see Andy waiting for me on the stoop.
"We can talk out here," I say, closing the door behind me.
He takes a step closer, and I can see the fire behind his eyes. "I'd really like some more privacy."
"No. Out here is fine."
Andy pauses and scans my gaze. "Rebecca, please."
Before I can answer, his hand is cupping my face, and his lips are pressing against mine. My instinct is to resist, but it's hard. It's always been hard with him. What Andy and I had was toxic and terrible. But that doesn't mean it's so easy to get a clean break. I hate myself as my tongue slips past his lips. Andy just has that way about him.
"Fine, but you can't stay long," I relent.
Inside the house, I lead Andy into the living room. I don't bother turning on a light, because the combination of the moon and the street lamps fill the space with a dim, eerie glow.
Andy sinks onto the couch and pats his leg. "Come here."
