The Pen Name

I hit "submit" before I can change my mind. I don't like to stew over my chapters for days at a time. My readers don't like to wait so long, and besides, it rarely improves my writing. I find that one or two edits are enough or else the writing will be overworked.

However, this particular chapter is different.

For the last two years, I've been posting dark romance stories on a platform called Anonymous Sins. I use the pen name "Evie Sinclair" and have been for so long that sometimes I feel like I really am Evie, rather than Rebecca.

Evie is edgy and hot. Evie is seductive without trying. It's why my stories have found so much success, in my opinion. My writing comes from my own brain, yes, but it also comes from Evie's.

A notification pops up on my computer. I've already received one comment from a longtime reader.

"Yay! I was wondering when you were going to post!" I read aloud. "Saving this to read later tonight before bed."

I lean back in my computer chair, hoping my readers won't be disappointed in the plot twist of this latest chapter. The main character, Xandi, has escaped from the billionaire who's been holding her captive. Most of my stories would end with our darling damsel falling in love with the captor. It's a bit tragic when you think about it. But it's what I write, and that's what my readers adore.

Until Xandi.

I don't know what came over me, but I wanted her to escape. I wanted her to break free and find her happy ending on her own. I never felt so attached to a character until I wrote Xandi. Maybe it's because she's more like Rebecca than any other character so far. She's me.

I go to bed that night feeling uneasy, like I've posted a raw diary entry rather than a fictional story chapter. I wish I could go back and delete it. I guess I still could, but it's already garnered over fifty likes in such a short time.

***

Xandi feels herself soften as Sterling's thumb runs across her jaw. Her blue eyes flicker upward to look into his brown ones, and in this dim light, they almost look black. It makes her shiver.

"You are my very best girl," mutters Sterling, looking down at the woman by his feet. "You know I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you."

Xandi nods. "I know. I know you wouldn't."

The fireplace crackles just beyond where Sterling sits. He takes a big swig of whiskey, and Xandi presses her head against his leg. He strokes her long, dark hair, and for a moment, a feeling of doubt swells up inside Xandi. She could stay here. She could be Sterling's best girl, his pet. She could live in this beautiful home and want for nothing.

Except freedom. It's the one thing Sterling could never give her.

Sterling puts two fingers under Xandi's chin, lifting her face. "Come on up here," he says quietly. "I want to make love to you."

As Xandi's naked body straddles Sterling's lap, her mind replays her plan.

Again.

Again.

Again.

***

I wake up to what sounds like tree branches scraping against my bedroom window. That doesn't make sense. I rub my eyes and sit up. When I look over, I can see something hitting against the dark glass. Pebbles.

I walk over to the window and peer down. He's staring up at me. I swallow the lump in my throat and lift open the window.

"What are you doing?" I hiss into the cool night air.

"I'm here to talk, Rebecca. Or should I say, Evie?"

My throat tightens. I can't read the expression on Andy's face. "Talking at one in the morning?"

He laughs. "What better time than now? I tried ringing your doorbell, but it seems to be out of order."

I sigh. "One second."

I throw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, slide my feet into some sandals, and run downstairs. I open the front door to see Andy waiting for me on the stoop.

"We can talk out here," I say, closing the door behind me.

He takes a step closer, and I can see the fire behind his eyes. "I'd really like some more privacy."

"No. Out here is fine."

Andy pauses and scans my gaze. "Rebecca, please."

Before I can answer, his hand is cupping my face, and his lips are pressing against mine. My instinct is to resist, but it's hard. It's always been hard with him. What Andy and I had was toxic and terrible. But that doesn't mean it's so easy to get a clean break. I hate myself as my tongue slips past his lips. Andy just has that way about him.

"Fine, but you can't stay long," I relent.

Inside the house, I lead Andy into the living room. I don't bother turning on a light, because the combination of the moon and the street lamps fill the space with a dim, eerie glow.

Andy sinks onto the couch and pats his leg. "Come here."

I cross my arms where I stand, shifting from foot to foot. "Andy, what do you want?"

"Come here, and I'll tell you."

I swallow hard. I'm debating what to do. I shouldn't have let him in. I wonder if it would have mattered, if he would have gotten in anyway.

Andy always finds a way.

***

Xandi rocks her body on top of Sterling's lap, her cunt filled by his cock. She's got one arm draped around his neck while he's holding her by the small of her back. The fire spits and cracks, and the warm orange glow casts shadows on Xandi's naked body.

"You belong to me, Xandi," says Sterling, moving one hand to her jaw to keep her looking squarely at him. "Sometimes you have a hard time understanding. But I know what's best. You are a very precious thing, and all I want is to keep you safe."

Xandi nods. "I-I know, Sterling."

"That's a good girl." Sterling caresses her face.

Xandi's hips move back and forth, waves of pleasure moving through her slowly and deeply. She lets out a stuttering sigh. It's been two years. She can't deny there is a love for him. She can't deny this feels good, that for all his terribleness and all his control, Sterling isn't entirely bad.

"Start bouncing," Sterling says suddenly. "I want to fill that cunt with cum."

Xandi obeys. It's second nature by this point. All she needs is another hour or so. The sleeping pills are ready. When she brings Sterling his next glass, she'll make sure he can't taste them. It won't be enough to kill him. Xandi clenches at that thought. No, it will knock him out and allow her enough time to sneak out. She's seen where he keeps the keys. She has a plan.

All she has to do is obey Sterling for another hour, so he doesn't suspect anything unusual.

***

"Rebecca," says Andy, reaching for my wrist. He grabs it and pulls me toward him until I'm standing right in front of where he sits. He pushes down the waistband of my shorts. "I've read your latest post. Little Miss Evie is certainly a deviant, isn't she? She's so creative."

I shudder. "How did you even know about that?"

Andy's pulling down my panties now, and his fingers slide across my pussy. He chuckles. "Are you serious? I knew the entire time we were together. You don't think I kept tabs? I thought it was amusing. It was almost kind of sad. But then I saw that latest chapter of yours, and I realized..."

"Realized what?" My voice comes out strained as Andy begins to massage my clit.

He looks up at me with a fresh flash of anger in his eyes. "I realized how deluded you really are. How you view me. How you think I'm Sterling."

I shake my head as Andy pulls me into his lap. I tremble uncontrollably as he pulls my sweatshirt off, exposing my naked breasts. I look down as he squeezes them together, his thumbs running across my hard nipples. I can feel them tighten. My pussy is aching and needy.

"Our relationship wasn't right," I whisper. "You know that, Andy. But it's okay." I pat his chest with two hands. "I'm not angry. It's in the past."

Andy pulls my body closer to him, his hungry mouth latching onto one breast, and then the other. His tongue swathes my nipples as a low growl gathers in the back of his throat.

"It's not the past, Rebecca." His hands run up and down my spine. "You're mine. You always will be. Why can't you accept that?"

His hands are now caressing the front of my body, sliding up my stomach, across my breasts, and to my mouth. I part my lips as he sticks two fingers inside, gliding them over my tongue.

In one quick motion, Andy stands up, keeping me against him. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me upstairs.

"Andy, please," I mutter in his ear. But I can't resist how I feel right now, how much my body is longing for him. "You know we can't do this. It's not right, it's not right."

Andy sets me down gently on the bed and begins to rip off his clothes. "Rebecca, nothing is more right. No matter what happens, we always end up together. Don't you think there's a reason?"

I think back to our relationship, how it started off on such a strange note with Andy showing up at my job, how I couldn't get rid of him, no matter how much I tried. He crawls on top of me now, and I close my eyes. When we were together, Andy was so fiercely protective. It was hard to separate myself from him, both physically and emotionally.

"I know I'm no billionaire like Sterling," says Andy into my ear. His body is heavy and hot on top of mine. "But I've got plenty to give you, darling."

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that when I broke up with Andy, he wouldn't stay gone for long.

I squirm underneath him, but my body seems to be reflexively arching up toward him. Andy slides his hand between my legs.

"Your cunt is wet for me, Rebecca," he says, his gaze holding mine. I see a satisfied smile crawling up his lips. "I think you missed me."

I shake my head.

"Oh, no?" Andy takes his wet fingers and brings them to my lips. I lick them clean, feeling both aroused and disgusted. "Your body missed me. Maybe your mind just needs to catch up."

***

With her pussy dripping cum, Xandi pours Sterling another drink. She peeks her head around the side of the bar to make sure his attention is still focused on the TV. It feels strange knowing that this won't be her home anymore. Xandi looks around at the sprawling basement area of Sterling's mansion, with all its gleaming fixtures and beautiful touches. Something close to sadness tugs at Xandi's heart, but she shrugs it off. There's no time.

Quickly, Xandi drops the sleeping pills into the bottom of the rocks glass and watches as they dissolve into the amber liquid. Her heart starts pounding in her ears. Once she gives this drink to Sterling, there is no turning back.

"What's taking so long in there?" Sterling calls. "I don't like to be kept waiting."

Xandi braces herself and hurries back to Sterling's leather chair.

"Come on then, doll," he says, taking the glass from her. "Why don't you crawl up into this chair with me?"

Xandi obeys him and curls up into his lap while she tries to focus on the movie playing in front of her. Silently, she pleas for Sterling to drink the whiskey quickly.

While they lay there, Sterling's hands wander across Xandi's naked breasts. It will feel good to be able to wear her own clothes again, clothes that she picked out.

"You're shaking," says Sterling, his brown eyes welling with concern. "Are you okay, doll?"

"I'm fine," Xandi replies. "I'm just a bit cold."

Sterling pulls a blanket off the back of the chair and throws it over Xandi's nude body. His hands remain underneath, tugging at her nipples. It makes Xandi's pussy throb with arousal, and she has to keep herself from squirming. She doesn't want Sterling to get any ideas, because then he might want to fuck her and then he won't finish his drink.

"I'm so content right now," sighs Sterling, running his fingers lazily through Xandi's hair. He takes a big swig of his whiskey.

***

Andy guides the thick head of his cock into my wet slit. There's no hesitation, no teasing. He just plunges inside, and my pussy stretches to accommodate him. I let out a yelp, my mouth widening at his intrusion. I hate how good it feels.

He lowers his face to kiss me. His hand holds my face steady while his tongue moves against mine.

"You're mine, always, Rebecca." His face is intense as he looks down at me. "I love you so very much." His hips buck between my legs, sending his cock even deeper into my pussy. "I love your softness, I love your beautiful smile, and I even love those silly little stories you write.

I groan and try to shift positions under his weight. "If you loved me, then you'd...hnngg... you'd let me go, Andy."

"I can't just let you go," he growls. "Because then someone else might have you. You don't want that, do you? I've got everything you could need. Move back in with me, darling."

I don't answer him, and that makes him fuck me even more urgently. He slams against me in quick, deep thrusts.

"Tell me," he says, his voice punctuated by his movements between my thighs. "Tell me you love me, Rebecca. Evie. Naughty little Evie."

I start to roll my eyes in annoyance, but they end up fluttering to the back of my head as Andy starts picking up the pace now. The bed creaks underneath us as he sends his girthy cock deep and fast inside me. Pleasure ripples through me, weakening every group of muscles.

"Your cunt is mine." Andy lets out a big exhale. "No one else's. Do you understand me?"

I am sopping wet now, with sticky strings oozing out of my pussy and coating my inner thighs with each thrust. Andy's balls swing underneath him. He lays his entire body down on top of mine and begins to fuck me using only his bottom half, while his hands reach up to cup my face.

"Darling girl," he says quietly, and I can feel myself melt inside. "Don't be like Xandi. Don't be dumb. Be mine, Rebecca. Now, be good and tell me you love me."

"I love you," I murmur into his ear because it is the truth. It's the sad, fucked-up truth, and right now, all I can think about is my looming orgasm.

"Very good." Andy's breath is hot against my face. "Cum for me, Rebecca. Give yourself over to me. That's right..."

My whimpers come out stuttering and loud. Andy's cock sinks past my folds and into my cunt at just the right angle, just the right pace. He knows me too well. His eyes stare deeply and intensely into mine as I cum. It's the sort of climax that starts off small and swells and swells. My body clenches with arousal, and my pussy tightens around Andy's shaft. He fucks me through the entirety of my orgasm, grunting along with the sound of my own moans.

"Fuck," I whisper. "Andy. I can't."

"But you did."

***

Xandi watches as Sterling's head lolls to the side. There's only a small sip of whiskey left at the bottom of his glass. She lowers her face to his parted lips and kisses him. Tears prick her eyes, and for a horrifying second, she wonders if she's making a mistake.

She tiptoes out of the basement and up to their bedroom. He doesn't know about the money she's been putting aside. Xandi grabs her bag from the closet and hastily throws in some clothes and other essentials. She didn't want to risk packing sooner in case he saw the bag.

"I've got everything," she says to herself. "I've got to do this."

She shoves half of the money into her bag and the other half into her pants pocket. She takes one last look around the bedroom and her mind replays all of the time spent here, all of the hours spent bent over for Sterling or curled up next to him while he read a book before bed. No, it wasn't all bad.

Her stomach churns, and she knows it's now or never.

***

"Lilah? I'm sorry to wake you."

Lilah's voice is scratchy with sleep. "It's fine. What's up? Are you okay?"

I swallow and look over my shoulder, making sure Andy isn't standing in the doorway. I wouldn't put it past him.

"I'm fine, I just... I wanted to tell you that I'm ready. I'm ready for your plan. And I'm sorry to call you in the middle of the night, but--"

I can hear the sheets rustling on her side of the phone. "Rebecca, you don't have to say anything else. I'm on it. I'll send over the details."

My heart is pounding so loud when I get back to bed that I worry I'm going to wake Andy up. I crawl under the blankets and turn my head to the side to look at him. He's so handsome right now, his face halfway in the shadows. I want to touch his scruffy jaw.

But I'm so close to freedom, I can taste it.

Now or never.