It is 1811. I have been sitting in debtors prison for almost a year now, trying to raise the money to pay my landlord all the back rent I owe. I couldn't help but get behind. A single woman in this day and age can do very little to raise money for herself, but I'm a religious woman and won't prostitute myself. Someday, maybe I will marry - but that seems unlikely, wasting away my best years here in prison.
I was born in 1792 into poverty, and my parents died when I was a teenager, leaving me nothing. I had no prospects, and tried to find jobs in restaurants and shops, but it is difficult to keep a position. After being unable to pay my rent one month, my landlord had me thrown into prison. Now, I rely on the alms provided by passersby who see my outstretched hand.
"Woman!" The gaoler was yelling at me. I raised my head and looked at him silently. "This man is here to take prisoners for medical research. He picked you. Go on, now."
"I choose not to go," I answered.
Turning red and stomping toward me, the gaoler grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me forward. "You have no choice. He is paying me for prisoners, and you are one he wants." He flung me toward the awaiting doctor, who proceeded to put handcuffs on me.
The doctor smiled. "You are an intractable one. Collins, the ether, please."
Another man came forward with a rag, reaching toward my face. Unable to use my hands, I tried to resist by moving my face away, but the two men held me close as the rag was forced over my nose and mouth. Soon, things went dark.
***
When I awoke, things were a bit hazy. I could see men looking down on me in two tiers - some were in seats before me, and others were in a balcony. The ones on the ground floor were all in white aprons and had notebooks. The doctor saw me open my eyes.
"Hello, I don't believe I have your name. I am Dr. Kraus," he said to me.
"Ann," I said, still groggy. I tried to scratch my nose, but could not lift my arm from my side. I looked down.
I was completely nude, lying on a table that was tilted slightly up at perhaps a 20 degree angle. My arms were restrained by straps at my side, and my feet were tied into stirrups, held up in the air apart. I was completely exposed with a room of perhaps 40 men staring at me.
"It's nice to have you with us in the operating theater, Ann. The men above are paid spectators, and the men below are students that will be learning from you." He turned to the audience. "You see that I have shaved the patient. She is a virgin, which makes her particularly agreeable for this session."
Dr. Kraus now took his finger and traced it around my vaginal entrance. "This is where the hymen is visible. You probably cannot see well from where you are, so I invite the students to come forward to take a closer look."
The students stood and began to file down. As the first one leaned over and took a good look at my most intimate parts, I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. He touched the rim around my hole.
"Which part is the hymen?" he asked.
"This filmy tissue just inside," the doctor answered, taking his own finger and pushing it slightly into my vagina. "You are all welcome to come and feel the hymen for yourself. You'll need to know how to establish that one exists, when the men in the balcony ask you to check the purity of their fiancees." The balcony rippled with laughter.
One after another, the students, about twenty of them, came and peered closely at my vagina, then felt gingerly inside for my hymen. One of them spent quite some time with his finger feeling inside my hole, claiming he couldn't find it, which led to the Doctor again pointing out the hymen by carefully tracing my hole with the student. Having both fingers inside was painful as they vied to both fit inside my tight vagina. Finally, the examination was over.
As the students sat back down, Dr. Kraus continued with the lecture. "Of course, the hymen isn't the only part of the vagina worth studying. There is also a clitoris, sitting just within the two lips of the labia. The clitoris is a useless organ, but during intercourse it can become engorged, as can the breasts." He again touched me, pulling on my labia. "This is the labia," then he touched the senstive bump above that, "and this is the clitoris." He then moved to my side and started massaging my left breast. "You also see how the nipples of the breasts become hard when handled. This can also occur during normal intercourse."
Dr. Kraus took off his apron and unzipped his pants, removing them. He folded his jacket and shirt up, revealing his flaccid penis.
"I know you've all seen one of these before, gentlemen," he said. The crowd laughed. "You know how they work, no doubt. I will now show you how a woman reacts during normal intercourse, and how it changes her body afterward, so that you will be able to identify a used woman readily." He began to stroke his cock, getting it hard. When it was standing out from his body, he took a cloth from a bucket and wrung it out.
"No, please, don't!" I exclaimed. I valued my purity! I did not want to give it up!
"Collins? Please gag the patient." The man who had administered the ether at the prison came forward and tied a cloth around my face. I could not fight him, restrained as I was. I tried to talk, but only muffled noises came from my throat.
"A woman will usually, upon first intercourse, be too dry to admit a penis into her vagina, so for that purpose we have here a soaked rag." Dr. Kraus began to wipe my vagina, leaving my wet in the drafty room. He then positioned his member up to my hole and pushed it in. I screamed, but the gag muffled my voice. His penis pushing in and out of me burned me deep inside.
"You can see that the woman does not enjoy intercourse. This is true of women for most of their lives. You may have to instruct a frustrated husband that he will have to restrain his wife by brute strength or by other means."
At this, Dr. Kraus began to move in and out faster. I squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear the crowd whispering and coughing, and some laughter here and there. Finally, he pushed himself into me hard, and gripped the table I was laying on to steady himself. He shuddered a few times, then stood up straight and carefully withdrew.
As he put his pants back on, he began lecturing again. "You can see that, in confirmation of our examination of the hymen, the patient is bleeding vaginally. She was in fact a virgin. You can also see that not all of the semen remains inside the vagina. This is an indication of obstinateness, an unwillingness to bear my child." Dr. Kraus began to wipe me off again with the water soaked cloth.
"For the remainder of the lesson, each student will perform intercourse with the patient. You are instructed first to examine the vagina and confirm that you see no hymen, so that you can contrast the two states. After you have performed, you should wipe her off for the next student, out of consideration." The audience laughed. "Be sure during intercourse to observe as much of the reactions of the patient as possible, and share those observations with the other students. I will call each student down alphabetically. Mr. Ashdown, please come forward."
A student emerged from the gallery. He removed his apron and pants, as Dr. Kraus had, and began to stroke his penis as he moved toward me. He stood before me, still stroking, and peered down into my vagina.
"You can see that she is missing the tissue that was earlier covering her vaginal entrance," he said aloud. Then he inserted himself. I began to sob for the loss of my virginity.