The Novice

Audrey left the small chapel that evening long after prayers had ended. Still she had no answers for the confusion that plagued her. She had tried to erase the memory of what Father Matthews had done from her mind, but her body stirred at odd moments from the sensations his caresses had evoked.

"Audrey."

Audrey stilled as the familiar, deep voice cut across her thoughts. She glimpsed Father Matthews over her shoulder, tall and intimidating as he pushed away from the stone wall and strode toward her. Steely grey eyes met her own troubled midnight blue ones. She swallowed hard as he came to stand before her, his cloak touching her hand. She gazed up at him, at the finely sculpted features, the inky black hair that looked as though it would curl if released from the queue.

Unbidden, the memory of him towering over her, thrusting into her, fluttered through her mind. The confusion and soreness, and for one startling moment, intense pleasure, as Father Matthews forced himself inside of her. It was the last that tormented her the most: that she had experienced shocking exquisiteness from an act forbidden to her.

"Father..." she began. Her thoughts were scattered by the brush of his thumb pad over the hollow at her throat. Fear and something else, something dark, bubbled within her, and she wanted to step back.

"I am greatly displeased with you, Audrey."

"W-why?" This time she couldn't help taking a step back at the cold implacability in those steely eyes. He followed her until she bumped up against the stone wall.

One palm planted itself against the wall next to her shoulder. His head dipped, and she turned her face away. She felt crowded, overwhelmed, feverish. Teeth nipped her earlobe.

"Don't," she whispered. Her lashes swept her cheek as seductive warmth leapt from his skin to hers from where he stood, barely an inch from her. "Please."

His mouth glided down over the side her neck. His other fingers sunk into the chestnut curls at her nape as he tilted her head back. A shiver raced through her. "Do not deny me God's will," he whispered hotly against her damp skin.

"I - I made solemn vows of purity and chastity, I can't..." A large hand cupped her small breast with its hardening tip. Her fingers clutched at his cloak as she fought to keep her knees from buckling beneath her.

"You made these vows to God. And it is in His name I act upon them. Your obedience is owed to me, and through me, to God. Perhaps herein lies the roots of your old Mother Superior's concerns about your suitability of becoming a nun."

Shock raced through her as her dazed blue eyes flew open. "What - what are you saying?" She bit her lip as his thumb toyed with the taut crest, sending frissons arrowing down between her thighs. A betraying whimper escaped her as he pinched the tip painfully.

"You old Mother Superior sent you here to demonstrate your worthiness of becoming a nun, Audrey. Are you capable of doing this?"

"H-how do you mean?" But she knew. The tenderness between her thighs where he had stolen her virginity throbbed in reminder.

"You must show your love for God, both spiritually and physically. You must allow me to cherish your body, and accept my member between your thighs. Only in this way will you become a true Bride of God."

"But...it can't be!" Her old Mother Superior had never spoken of this duty. Audrey imagined the round, elderly priest who had always been a father to her. She could not prevent a shudder at the thought of his heaviness on top of her, doing those wicked things Father had done.

"Bodily love between God and his children is the purest form of expressing devotion. You will find our ways here are much closer to what God intended." He leaned against her, the shocking hardness stirring against her belly doing strange things to her. A hand glided down to caress her bottom. The movement caused her to arch unwilling against him.

His fingers followed the path of her cleft until they rubbed against her most secret place through cloth. Her flesh tingled, and she was tormented by the memory of his shaft moving hurtfully inside of her. A soft moan escaped her as she squeezed her thighs together.

Fingers tangled in the skirt of her habit, drawing it up over her knees. Her breathing was uneven as her small fists pushed against his chest. Yet his hand slid inexorably up her inner thigh. She moaned as the tips of his fingers stroked the sensitive flesh at their apex bereft of their protective curls. He coaxed her velvety lips apart and found the hidden jewel between them. Pleasure whispered through her. Her traitorous body arched into his hand. Even as she pushed at Father Matthew's chest, his finger probed her tender nub.

"Please..." she breathed.

"Tell me what you want, novice." he murmured against her ear. She rose up on her tip toes as his finger pressed against her, before gently massaging her in tiny circles. Her head fell back against the wall, her breasts rising and falling.

"I ..." His finger teased and caressed her silken warmth. Tingles ran up the backs of her thighs, gathering between them. His mouth caught hers, teasing her lips apart.

"No!" Her wide eyes met his stunned ones for an instant before she twisted from his grasp. She backed away from him, before turning and fleeing on trembling legs.

Louis bit back a frustrated oath, allowing her to leave. Again. He had realised too late the day before that Audrey's mind was as innocent as her sweet body when his shaft breeched her. Yet the damage did not seem irrevocable, for her natural sensuality rose easily at his touch.

Soon Audrey would yield to him fully, that much the richer for her earlier opposition. That she did not enjoy her first rites would soon be forgotten once he introduced her fully to the pleasures that awaited her as a novice at St Helen's. But this waiting gave him little comfort. He had been forced to exhaust his lust on young Beth, the memory never leaving him of the bewildered look on Audrey's sweet face as he stole her innocence.

Louis planned to handle Audrey's seduction more delicately in order to overcome her resistance borne of her faith. When he finally spilled his seed in her, she would not struggle, but welcome him. Until then, Louis would have to accede to Margaret's experience in dealing with the young novices in her care and opening their minds up to the pleasures of the flesh. For now.

~*~

Audrey was washing dishes after the remains of the morning meal when Mother Superior came to the kitchens. Her stern gaze settled on Audrey. "Come with me, novice."

Mother abruptly turned without waiting for an answer and strode along the narrow hall. Audrey followed uncertainly at Mother's curtness. The tense silence was only broken when they reached Mother's chamber. Audrey was commanded to sit, and she did so, trying not to be obvious as she glanced curiously around her. The chamber was sparsely furnished, as befitting a nun, but what furniture there was, was heavy and ornate, hinting at a wealthy background. A large, mahogany desk sat beneath the arched windows, nibs and an inkpot resting upon it.

"Audrey," Mother spoke sharply, and Audrey's head swung back to Mother where she had seated herself across from her. "Your behaviour of late concerns me greatly. Answer me truthfully: have you yielded your body to Father Matthew?"

Audrey blushed, her gaze dropping to her lap where her entwined hands rested. "I am no longer a virgin," she admitted shamefully.

"That is not what I ask, yet it is an answer in itself. Either your old mother has been remiss in her teachings, Audrey, or you fail to comprehend what is expected of you as a novice. Which is it?"

Audrey's gaze flew to Mother's in horror, unable to answer. Then it was true? Mother gazed back at her impassively, before rising and turning to face the window.

"If I called Father Matthew's to my chamber, would you allow him to love your young body as God wills, novice?"

Again, Audrey could not answer. Was it not sinful, but instead a ritual she was expected to perform in order to demonstrate her love of God? Confusion, fear and excitement warred within her.

"It is as I thought." The disappointment so evident in her tone made Audrey squirm. "You are beneath my care, Audrey, and it would be remiss of me not to punish you for failing His teachings."

"Punishment?" Audrey's eyes widened.

"Your willful disobedience cannot continue, Audrey. You must relinquish your body fully to Father Matthew's demands, and only in this way become a true Bride of God. Get me my brush from my armoire," Mother commanded, turning to face her.

Audrey lurched nervously to her feet and went to the armoire where the wooden brush rested. Her trembling fingers closed over the smooth brush with its wide flat head. Soft bristles teased her fingers as she placed the handle of the brush in Mother's outstretched palm, eyes lowered. Her thoughts were a whirl of confusion. Was her resistance to Father Matthew wrong?

"Get on your hands and knees on the tea chest." Audrey looked to the low chest nervously, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. At Mother's frown, Audrey did as she was bade. Slowly, awkwardly, she first knelt on the chest and then placed her hands on the cool wood. She held her breath as Mother walked slowly around her before coming to stand at her feet. Audrey was unprepared for the rush of cool air on her limbs as her heavy skirts were flipped over on her back, baring her quivering bottom and thighs. Audrey belatedly brought her knees together to hide her soft flesh shorn of its thatch of curls, her face pink.

"No, spread them apart." A soft whimper escaped Audrey as fingers tapped her inner thigh. "That's it, wider."

Audrey held herself stiffly, her face burning with humiliation at the impossibly open position. The habit was loose, its front drooping to lie on the chest. Audrey knew Mother could see her pale belly and breasts. Audrey flinched slightly as fingers smoothed over her bottom, before lightly pinching her.

When it came, Audrey was unprepared for the flat of the brush smacking her bottom soundly. She bit off a scream. She had barely caught her breath before another blow landed, and another. Never before had another raised a hand to her, let alone spanked her bare bottom.

Audrey squirmed and wriggled beneath the rain of blows, but it was no use. The strike of the brush seemed to instinctively follow her movements, its sound as it connected with her flesh tormenting her.

"Please stop, I...oh please!" Tears trickled down Audrey's cheeks. Yet the torture only became worse as the brush began to smack her mound, forcing gasps from her throat. Her sex began to tingle and warm as the shocking blows danced over her most tender flesh.

"I will now cleanse you, Audrey. But before that, you will make me a vow." Every word was punctuated with a dull smack that made her flesh quiver. "You must take a vow of silence in order to consider your sins. Swear to me, Audrey."

Audrey knew she would say anything to prevent the mortifying punishment from continuing as heat seeped from between her thighs. "I swear a vow of silence to God. Should I break it, so must I be punished."

To Audrey's eternal gratefulness, the physical punishment ceased. She had heard of nuns punished by silence before. Those nuns had been consigned to a lonely existence, unable to speak for weeks, sometimes months on end for their disobedience. One had even declined until she no longer partook of sustenance. Audrey had to choke back a whimper.

"Good, Novice. You will obey this vow until such time as I release you."

Audrey listened as Mother moved around the small chamber, her pink flesh smarting. From between silky strands that had come free from her plait, she saw Mother place a large porcelain bowl on the chair beside the chest. Mother then poured water from the pitcher into the bowl, before disappearing from view. She returned and squeezed drops from a tiny glass bottle with a little stopper. A familiar scent teased Audrey's nostrils. Lavender flowers.

When Mother dipped a soft cloth in the scented water and laid it across Audrey's pink bottom, it was blessed relief. Then soft fingers began to massage her sore flesh through the cooling cloth. Audrey's limbs began to melt. The cloth was removed, dipped in cool water, before gently glided over her abused flesh in circular patterns. Audrey's eyes widened when she felt the damp cloth dip down along the valley of her nether lips.

Again the cloth was removed, only to return to stroke at the throbbing nub nestled between her soft folds that seemed to fascinate Father Matthews. Audrey's breathing turned shallow as she fought to keep still beneath Mother's administrations. Humiliation burned through her as she felt writhing heat grow low in her belly. Mother's fingers caressed her thrumming flesh, making Audrey's back arch.

Still Mother continued, her fingers stroking back and forth along her cleft in shocking intimacy. A shudder raced through Audrey as the fingers wrapped in cloth came to rest against her dewy gate. No! Yet a finger pushed against her, forcing her tight walls to part against its invasion as it eased up inside of her. Mother's whispered words as she chanted the purification and obedience rituals barely registered. The finger slid deep within her channel, stroking, searching. Audrey gasped as it discovered a sensitive spot. The finger rubbed it over and over, and Audrey bit her lip as she struggled to contain the overwhelming sensations building between her spread thighs. She felt as though she quivered on the edge of a tremendous peak, her every nerve ending alive. Audrey could have wept when the finger withdrew.

Margaret couldn't help but be moved by the young girl's distress as she came to stand before her. A gentle finger beneath Audrey's chin lifted her exquisite face, pink and wet with tears. It had been a long time since Margaret had found herself so aroused by these games, and she struggled not to order the young novice to kneel before her and lick her own wet cleft. She could see why Louis was enamoured of the girl, more so than he possibly realised. The mixture of submissiveness, stubborness and wanton innocence would be an irresistible temptation to one with his controlling nature.

"You must go now, and think upon what I have said. You will find it will not be so terrible to have Father Matthews teach your young body the ways of worship. It is only in this way that can you demonstrate your suitability of becoming a nun, and take the final steps."

Audrey swiftly tugged down her habit and scrambled from the chest. She curtseyed before Mother and quickly departed. The unsettling dampness between her thighs plagued her swift flight.

~*~

That night, Audrey tossed and turned on the narrow pallet, her chemise tangling around her thighs. Her dreams were scattered, her body hot and feverish, a strange, pulsing heaviness between her thighs.

Part of her wished she could go back to the time before she had arrived at St Helen's. Everything had seemed so simple then. She had wanted nothing more than to raise orphaned children like herself, to cherish them with her love. She still wanted that. But something inside of her seemed to be growing, becoming louder, expressing a curiosity and wonderment about the intimate way in which a man fit inside a woman.

Father's words about her suitability came back to her, and so to the image of him and Beth on the pagan altar. Had her old Mother Superior refused to allow Audrey to take her vows to become a nun because she unknowingly failed to give herself to the old Priest?

She remembered the feel of hard flesh moving inside of her, causing a strange thrill between her thighs. Then the memory of Lukas took over, until her skin felt hot and her nipples pinched. No! She pushed the wicked thoughts of the handsome stranger aside. She must forget him if she wanted to belong here.

Yet worry gnawed at her insides. Was her failure to give herself to Father Matthews due entirely to fear and uncertainty? Hard as she tried, she could not eradicate thoughts of Lukas from her mind. The wicked things he had done to her in the forest, teasing her nether lips with his manroot, the way he licked her nipples. Audrey groaned, curling up into a tight ball.

Finally Audrey could take it no longer. She scrambled from her pallet and padded silently down the hall. Pushing open the door, she slipped into the welcoming darkness and let cool air wash over her heated skin. Sleep would be long in coming.

~*~

Audrey waited patiently outside of Mother's chambers the following morning after prayers until she was called upon.

She was no closer to overcoming the confusion that held her. Thoughts of Father and Lukas had become intertwined, until she wanted nothing more than to flee St Helens and return to the safety of St Agatha's. But to do so before her year at St Helen's was complete meant that her old Mother would not accept her vow to become a nun.

"Audrey!"

Straightening her shoulders, Audrey pushed open the door with trembling fingers and moved silently into the chamber. Following Mother's pointed finger, Audrey knelt on the chest in the middle of the chamber.

Again her skirt was drawn up over her bottom to rest over the small of her back.

"Knees as wide as you can." Audrey's face flamed as her creamy inner thighs and bare mound were revealed to the older woman. Hands pressed on her back, forcing her into a shameless arch. She felt vulnerable and open as she waited dutifully for her punishment.

She bit her lip as Mother wrapped a scarf over her eyes and tied it in a firm knot at the back of her head. A tremour raced through her, and she struggled to get enough air in her lungs.

"Do not be frightened, Audrey. I seek to open your eyes to the light, to banish the confusion and darkness inside of you. Will you allow me to give you a taste of the light?"

Slowly Audrey nodded, struggling to dampen her uncertainty. She relaxed slightly as she heard Mother move away from her. She could see nothing, and in some way it was strangely comforting.

A quiver raced through her as she felt Mother behind her. She was close, so close to the heart of her that Audrey could feel her warm breath on her flesh. Audrey tensed as hands rested on the inside of her knees, pushing them wider until she ached with the strain.

Audrey silently prayed this would end before she did something to disgrace herself. She felt the tickling caress of Mother's fingers along her inner thigh, and was unable to control the quiver racing through her. She felt thumbs lightly rub her pink lips, and it took all of Audrey's control not to push insistently against them. It was then that she recognised the danger of the blindfold; every part of her being was focused on what was happening between her legs.

Heat swept through Audrey, consuming her as the fingers held her nether lips wide and teased the throbbing nub between. Her toes curled as the exploring fingers stroked her molten flesh, drawing soft gasps from her and making her squirm. Soon the feverishly dry skin of her sex became dewy with intoxicating sweetness.

She almost bucked off the chest as something warm and insidious slid along her pink valley. Audrey strained against the pulsing frenzy between her thighs, trying to control the sensations washing through her at the wickedness of mother's mouth against her. The intensity of sensation seemed magnified a thousand fold by the darkness that enclosed her. Need for something more burned through her as the tiny darting weapon lashed at her. Her toes curled, small moans escaped her parted lips. Waves of pleasure lapped at her, dragging her deeper into a whirling pool of sensation. Her fingers clutched at the edge of the chest as she felt she would burst.