Audrey raced along the leafy path toward the safety of the convent, her way lit by thin fingers of moonlight. Her shift fluttered against her thighs as she ran, her trembling fingers clutching the torn edges of her bodice together. She felt breathless, her skin dewy and hot, pulses of tingling heat curling through her belly.
She knew he was back there, intensely masculine, terrifyingly seductive. All she had to do was turn around, to surrender herself to the madness he so easily evoked inside of her.
And destroy any chance she had of becoming a nun.
Even now Lukas's words still echoed in her head. "Go now, before I take what it is you seek to deny me."
She gave a soft cry as she stumbled and fell to her hands and knees on the uneven path, her ankle screaming in protest. She sat back on her heels and brushed her long chestnut mane back from her face as she drew gulps of air into her lungs.
She gave a squeak of horror as long fingers wrapped around her upper arm and dragged her awkwardly to her feet.
She gazed up, unaware of how her exposed breasts with their tender rosy tips glowed in the moonlight as she focused on the shadowy features of Mother Superior.
"Novice," Mother said coldly in greeting. "How is it that I find you in a state of dishabille," Audrey winced as Mother's long fingers flicked her tight nipples painfully. "After curfew?"
Audrey hastily drew the folds of her bodice together, flustered at being caught and unsure how to begin to confess the multitude of her sins.
Even now, her body still throbbed where Lukas's fingers had stroked her lush folds until she melted, the feel of him as he probed against her tiny entrance, sliding that shocking thick male part up inside of her and stretching her uncomfortably until he came to rest against the evidence of her chastity. Audrey shuddered, a guilty flush staining her cheeks as she gazed up into the shadowed eyes of Mother. "I-"
"Save your lies, Novice. Father will no doubt wish to see you after prayers tomorrow morning."
Audrey barely held back a moan of horror. She would be forced to confess her wickedness to Father Matthews, and the mere thought of it scared her rigid. Would he discipline her? Would he lock her up? Would she be banished from the convent?
Audrey had known no other life than that within the confines of the convent. She had been raised by nuns who had cherished and loved her, and it was her sole wish to become a nun too so that she follow in their footsteps and help raise orphaned or unwanted children like herself.
It was only her old Mother Superior's belief that Audrey would in time come to desire a husband and children of her own that led her to refuse Audrey's wish to take her vows like the other novices. Eventually Mother had agreed that upon Audrey fulfilling a full year as a Novice at the convent at St Helen's, if Audrey still wished to become a nun, she could do so with Mother‘s full blessing.
Audrey had arrived at St Helen's a little over a sennight ago, and found herself struggling to cope with the many differences from the convent in which she had been raised. In many ways St Helen's was freer, without the rigid codes of dress and conduct expected by the elderly Father at St Agatha's. However, St Helen's was in other ways stricter and more demanding on the person. At St Agatha's, the body was viewed as a mere vessel, its functions to be tolerated and ignored. Yet at St Helen's, Audrey had found that shame of the human form was discouraged while purity was carefully monitored.
Audrey had never felt so conflicted as she did in those moments when she had witnessed Father Matthews towering over Beth as she lay on the pagan stone altar in the forest clearing, his hard straining flesh thrusting between her quivering buttocks as Beth moaned and writhed beneath him.
She had been warned all her life against the sins of the flesh, of the depravity and wickedness that would result. Yet how was she to resolve this with what she had seen Father Matthews do the other young Novice?
As she was marched back to her cell by Mother Superior, Audrey realised that before coming to St Helen's she had led a life sheltered from the sins and temptations of the flesh. She now wondered if she would ever be free of this yearning to have her young body caressed and to feel the hard press of male flesh between her melting thighs, and feared that her faith would be tested deeply in the coming year.
~*~
The kitchen was silent as Beth and Audrey washed the dishes after the breaking of fast the following morning. Audrey had not breathed a word to her friend of the intimate acts she had witnessed in the forest, and Audrey hated herself for the deception.
Audrey dried and put away the dishes as Beth washed, and together they wiped down the benches and put the chairs to rights. Audrey couldn't prevent herself from yawning, feeling immensely tired and weary. She had been unable to sleep, her mind in a turmoil of guilt and discovery. The mere thought of what she had done, of what she had seen, had filled her body with a restless yearning that kept her on edge and needing, wanting, something more.
Had this been what lay behind her old Mother Superior's refusal to allow Audrey to take her vows and finally become a nun? Had she wanted Audrey to discover the exquisite pleasure of a man's touch before she finally chose to live her life in the convent, one of chastity, poverty and duty?
Father Matthews had told her upon her arrival at St. Helen's that their ways were different. Had her old Mother known of this before sending Audrey to St. Helen's, and intended perhaps for Father Matthews to take the same liberties with Audrey as he did with Beth?
Audrey was dragged from her whirling thoughts as Beth placed a hand over hers.
"Do not torment yourself so, Audrey. I know."
"Y-you do?" Audrey gasped, blushing madly.
Beth merely smiled, looking suddenly older than her nineteen years. "I had hoped that you would follow me. I wanted you to see for yourself what it was like, to not feel frightened when your time comes. Father Matthews treats us all as his own."
Audrey trembled, her lashes lowering as she remembered the feel of Lukas moving inside of her, of the exquisite pleasure he had coaxed from her innocent body. Yet at the same time she had felt a burning uncomfortableness, as though he were tearing her apart.
Would it be the same with Father Matthews? Oh, god, the mere thought of it sent a bewildering quiver between her thighs.
"B-but isn't it wicked for a nun to lose her chastity and fornicate with a man?"
"There is no wickedness, Audrey," Beth assured her. "Father Matthews vowed before God to love, cherish and educate the nuns and novices under his care, and he does so with the full assent of the Lord."
"Oh," Audrey murmured, chewing on her bottom lip.
