I peeked my head over the bushes. Sneaking around in the brush was more difficult in fine clothes, I was finding out, but I was Vigo the Rogue, the best two copper thief money could buy for two copper pieces. Had the king known I was young and inexperienced, he would have for sure recruited someone with talent and a resume. Having stolen some bread and a piece of fruit, my history was less than colorful. And yet here I was, staring into the party of giants.
The town of Gertudo was as robust as I was told; massive walls and bright lights concealed massive bodies, about 6 feet tall on the short side, the taller warriors towering over ten feet tall. The money was calling my name for this job, otherwise I would have hightailed it. The giants had taken the Princess of Eramor captive, and tonight they were celebrating a wedding, where she would be the guest of honor. It was a huge to-do, with all of the biggest names all gathering here to dance and eat and generally make the earth shake. I knew these giants spoke English; Hell, I could hear them from here. Their tenuous grasp of the English language seemed more focused on swears than anything else. They must have considered 'fuck' to be an adjective, noun, verb, and article.
As I continued to scan the area, a bright spot appeared. Humans. Normal sized, not freakishly large humans. I'm not racist, I was excited to know that I may not be entirely out of place in this wedding. I rolled to one of the other bushes closer by, to eavesdrop on their conversation. I'm sure I was completely silent.
"We're Julia and Roberto from Polinsia," the male human said. "Here are our invitations." In front of them, a massive, eight foot tall giant took the paperwork. He grunted.
"Will there be more of you from Polinsia?"
"No," the man replied. "There should be a party showing up soon. If they claim to be from the House of Roberto Polini, let them in please."
"As you wish, sir," the giant replied. He nodded and let them pass through the massive doors behind him.
I waited a good ten minutes, so as not to be too obvious. I was paranoid. Sneaking into a giant's lair in the hopes of stealing a princess while being five feet tall and inexperienced would make anyone scared shitless. The money would be enough to keep me off of some company's payroll for the rest of my life though, so there's that. I strolled up casually to the same guard.
"Halt, human," he said, holding out his big hand in front of me. He was a beefy fellow, probably weighing about 800 pounds. He could smash me into nothing with one swing. I looked around nervously, but then realized I shouldn't do that, so I looked straight ahead normally, then realized a human probably wouldn't do that, so I looked around nervously again. What are humans like again? "What business do you have here?"
"Oh me," I said. That was stupid. "I'm here to join the wedding. I hail from House Polini."
"I see," he muttered. "Go on ahead, good sir." He pointed me towards the doors, and I strolled ahead.
As I pushed open the last of the doors, a huge party broke out in front of me. Lights strung on cables lined the skies and tents with tender boar meat stood on the ground. It looked like more of a carnival than a wedding. It was a somewhat hot summer night, and the stars were out for the show, the moon full and beautiful. Giants danced and frolicked here and there, dancing as couples and as singles looking for a one night stand. I walked carefully so as not to get stepped on. I managed to look up while walking and saw a large spire. Atop the spire was a window, and I could see a woman in the window. That must have been the princess. Even from this far away, I could tell she was no giant. I would need a way into the tower. Unfortunately, I had been looking up for too long.
I crashed into a solid mass and staggered back. In front of me was a huge, round, white wall. As I tried to recollect myself, I heard a voice. "Lulu, zat mini boy just walked into your tushi!" The voice was clearly intoxicated, and as my vision came back, I looked forward at the biggest woman I had ever seen. Standing 8 feet tall and probably weighing over a thousand pounds, this girl was wider and taller than a large door. She was wearing a white gown that couldn't hide how immense her ass was, though at least it was completely covered up. Even among giants, this was a truly big girl, at least as far as width went. Clumsily, she turned around to face me and looked down. Her white gown had a plunging front that showed more cleavage than my entire village back home. Two massive breasts sat uncomfortably in her dress, and as she leaned forward, they looked like they wanted to jump out. Easily the biggest breasts I had ever seen, and easily the biggest breasts in the party.
"Oh my goodness! He's so wittle and so cute!" She grabbed me by my arms and was able to wrap her hands all the way around my upper torso. Lifting me high into the air, she gave me some baby talk. "Aren't you just the littlest little thing ever?"
"Careful, Lulu, you're gonna crush him!"
