"Sana, I cannot do anything else. There is just no interest," I heard Akshay my agent say over the phone in an exasperated manner.
I had made a name on a Pakistani web series before I took on Akshay as an agent in Mumbai. My real break came on the back of this move and I landed my first role in Bollywood 36 months ago. I was still only 26 but I soon felt my star beginning to fade. I had come with a buzz around my name but now I was rarely spoken of. I was hot off the back of the successful web series and the offers were rolling in. My first year was successful but one bad decision turned into then 3 and soon my name became associated with movies that spectacularly flopped.
Once I had a taste of stardom, I craved it more than anything. I was not interested in television roles or another web series that I had been offered. The idea of returning to Pakistani TV or cinema filled me with dread and I desperately wanted to cling to the bright lights of Bollywood as this was where I belonged.
"What can I do? I have been to all the auditions. Danced and acted my ass off," I said in exasperation.
"Look, this is not about talent. It is politics. You need producers willing to take the risk on you," he paused and took a sigh.
"There is a party tonight and I will get you an invite," Akshay said. He was always working angles and ways to get you in. It was what made me choose him in the first place.
"But who will take the risk? I have tried to build relationships with all the big stars. Come on Akshay, help a girl out," I asked in my flirty manner.
"Don't try that with me but between you and me someone that will take a risk is Ajay Gupta. That is your best hope," Akshay said.
I had met Ajay a few times and he had been pleasant enough but he always put me on edge. He liked to put his arm around you and this made me uncomfortable. There were also many complaints that I had heard about him. I was silent for longer than expected.
"Sana?" I heard Akshay query.
"Yes. Yes. You got it. Ajay Gupta. I will be there tonight," I said a little flustered.
The party was in the evening, I wore red salwar kameez as I liked to dress in the traditional dress. It gave me an elegant look and it was an image I tried to culture. It was trendy and form fitting. Instead of a loose salwar I chose to wear leggings that clung tight to my skin. The kameez was tight and clung to my body revealing my form to any eager eyes and I hoped it would get Ajay's attention.
At the party I made small talk with people from the industry but I kept my eyes on the lookout for Ajay.
The party was the usual drug and alcohol fueled affair but I had to be careful around this. As a Pakistani actress it would harm my reputation irreparably if I was caught taking part in drugs or alcohol. I enjoyed cocktails and since moving to Mumbai I enjoyed attending parties but ensured I would not be photographed.
Tonight was a night for a cocktail as I dreaded the idea of getting Ajay on my side and what it would take. I was determined more than ever to ensure it happened.
I saw Ajay enter accompanied by an entourage and I sighed in disappointment. I did not want to wade through people to speak to him. Ajay always made me feel insecure and intimidated. He was an older man in his 60's and he had a way of playing on your insecurities.
I waited for my opportunity and I approached him when he was alone.
"The lovely and elegant Sana. I was wondering if you would come over to say hello. You are looking particularly seductive tonight. It makes me wonder why I have never had the opportunity to cast you," he said as he placed his hand on the small of my back as he leaned in to kiss me on my cheek. I smiled and giggled with him. It was important to play nice today despite his creepy comments.
"Well I did audition but you never called," I say reminding him that he was in control of whether I worked with him.
"Hmm. Perhaps. Shall we get some drinks?" He says as he directs me towards the bar with his hand still on the small of my back. I can feel his pinky finger trail the top of my panty line and I take a deep breath.
I swallow the saliva in my mouth and put on a smile for him. His over familiarity and obviously perverted nature disgusts me but tonight I must play nice. He is my once chance to stay in the industry or be another forgotten starlet.
He orders me a cocktail and himself a scotch. He takes me away from the crowd to a secluded corner to talk. We are stood beside a table and a wall behind us.
His hand is slightly lower than before and his finger is playing with the top of the crevice of my ass through my clothes. Even through my clothes he seems to know his way around my body. It is subtle and I try to justify it in my mind.
"He is just being a gentleman," I lie to myself despite his actions obviously being perverted. This was the part of Bollywood I absolutely despised.
"Sana, I must cast you before they pack you off to Pakistan and I never see you again," he jokes but it is closer to the truth. The mention of returning fills me with a great dread. I hated the idea of losing my freedom. I laugh in response despite knowing the truth of it.
"I have always wanted to work with you. I don't usually fawn over directors or producers but when I came to Bollywood I told Akshay, my agent. Please do whatever you can to get me a role in Ajay's movies," I said lying through my teeth to compliment him. I did respect him and enjoyed his movies but I always avoided him as I was told he was a creep.
There was no humility in his smile and his hand went lower to grope and squeeze my ass cheek. I bit the inside of my lip as I fought the urge to pull his hand off and slap him.
I smile and take a sip of my drink.
"I am due to cast my new movie next month. There is a role you will be ideal for," he says as his hand moves over to my other ass cheek and he squeezes it through my clothes.
"Oh, really?" I ask sounding intrigued as I ignore his groping touches.
"You are very beautiful and I can imagine you playing the female lead. Your talent is undeniable," he says as his hand slides into the slits of my kameez. His hand is on my naked back and I just smile in response to his words but it is clear between us that I am also accepting his advancing touches.
"Thank you Ajay. You are too kind. What is the role?" His hand is rubbing the small of my naked back and I once again swallow the saliva in my mouth. His touches are creepy and grotesque but I sense myself growing moist from the anticipation of what he will do next. My sex life had been lacking the last 6 months and even these touches were causing me to respond in an aroused manner.
"The character's journey in this role is fascinating. You will love it. She is fierce and strong. This could finally be the role that gives you something other than a flop. You should definitely audition," he says. I am a little cut by this as his hand moves lower and squeezes my cheek over my leggings. He has a much tighter and firmer hold now and I can feel his fingers in the cleft of my ass.
"But if you like me for the role, can we not skip the audition?" I ask revealing a little of my desperation of the role but also opening up a quid pro quo scenario.
I see his eyes light up at my words and he takes this as my willingness to play his game.
He raises an eyebrow to me and I feel his hand play with the waistband of my leggings. I swallow the saliva in my mouth as a nervous tension builds inside me. I sense he knows just how powerful he is at this moment and the power dynamic is making me feel very aroused.
His hand goes inside my leggings and I down my drink in response. His hand now firmly gropes my ass.