It had been one of the most trying weeks of her life.
But it seemed that finally, the curses had stopped.
The bleeds had been relentless, a seven day purge that had left Lena feeling almost equally as frail as when she'd been thrown in Ludovic's brothel. She couldn't even handle her own standing weight, which had left Dot very disappointed when she'd begged to be carried by her Tante Lena.
Lena hadn't been able to eat anything for the final four days, for the constant blood loss, coupled with the ever-present ripping sensation in her stomach, had left her too nauseous for nutrients.
But that wasn't the most concerning thing about her stomach, for she'd noticed while bathing that the strangest bruises had suddenly appeared around her pelvis and lower belly, shaped like witches' fingers. Karl had told her it was a condition called
atypical abdominal cyanosis
and he assured her it would fade in a few days' time.
So she'd spent her days mostly in her chambers, for she didn't have the energy nor will to do much else. She welcomed the almost constant need for sleep, for it kept her distracted from the aching feeling of emptiness that had hollowed her heart in Renz's absence.
It had been two full weeks, without a single word from him. He could be halfway to the Americas for all she knew, for Renz had left no information about his whereabouts.
She wanted to feel angry with him, as angry as she'd felt on that final, fateful day.
But instead, she just felt empty. Desolate. It was as if something had been ripped from her.
Stolen
from her.
"What would you think about having a dinner party, Lena dear?" Ava said suddenly. They were sitting in the backyard gardens, watching Odette Alexandra as she played in the snow.
Otto was at Lena's feet, his large head at rest upon her knee.
"What is the occasion?" Lena asked. Ava shrugged her shoulders.
"Do we need one? There's so much
sorrow
in this house. We're too young and pretty to be this miserable," Ava whined with a sweet pout. Lena's mouth curved into an almost smile as she reached for her cup of tea.
"Who would we even invite?" Lena asked.
It made her sad to admit, but truly...Ava was her only real friend.
And since she had no idea when, or if, Renz would return, Lena knew she needed to try and find a way to form more friendships.
She wouldn't survive being heartbroken by Renz alone.
"How about the Krügers? Karolina and Edvard seemed to be quite fond of you at Renz's party," Ava offered.
Lena smiled weakly at the memory. It wasn't that long ago, but Renz's party was truly the last time she'd felt perfectly happy with him.
But something had changed that night.
"They are lovely, indeed," Lena offered softly.
"And I can invite my dear sister Valda and her husband Jonas, you will love them! I'll tell her to bring us some of those delectable chocolates from Brussels," Ava added.
"And...Karl will be your escort, I presume?" Lena asked. Ava blushed.
"He doesn't know it yet. But, yes. So what do you say, Lena dear? Wouldn't a party be fun?" Ava asked with a bright smile.
The idea of a party terrified Lena, but the joy on Ava's face, mixed with desperation, was impossible to ignore. It was obvious that Ava
needed
to socialize. She'd recovered so well from her loss, was finally talking and smiling again, and Lena couldn't bear to refuse her.
"Perhaps you can enjoy this party without me? As I'll be the only one unescorted--"
"Nonsense. You are the Lady of this house now, Lena. You must attend!"
"Renz and I aren't married," Lena corrected. Ava shook her head, unbothered by that detail.
"Your union is unmistakable, Lena dear. And unbreakable. That foolish bastard will return to you in due course. He loves you too much to stay away for long," Ava said, squeezing her hand fondly.
Lena smiled to oblige her, but she knew the truth.
When Renz had said goodbye to her...he'd meant it.
Renz had left her.
That strange connection to him, that sensation in her bones that pulled her helplessly towards him, was gone. She'd felt it during her weeks away from him suffering in München, and even when she'd returned to Schloss Wolfenbarger alone to recover.
But she could no longer feel his powerful presence, for there was a new, cold, physical absence inside of her.
"Forgive me, Ava...I have no experience planning dinner parties," Lena offered eventually. Ava squealed a girlish giggle.
"Leave all of the arrangements to me, Lena darling. This is something I'm very good at," Ava said assuredly.
They enjoyed lunch outdoors as ladies as Dot continued to play, and soon, it was time for Dot's afternoon nap. Ava retired to her chambers along with her.
And finally, Lena was alone.
It was a very strange comfort, sitting out in the snow. The gardens of Schloss Wolfenbarger were painted bright white, and the stillness in the air seemed to be a perfect mirror to the stillness in her heart.
Winter was still weeks away, but life was already beginning to perish.
Otto sighed against her lap, and Lena was certain she could see sadness in his large brown eyes.
She reached for his ears and offered him a gentle scratch.
"I miss him, too," Lena said softly.
They sat together in the cold stillness, staring at nothing and thinking of everything.
She wasn't sure how much time she'd spent outside, but suddenly, she heard her name.
"Fräulein! Fräulein Lena!" a desperate voice called.
Lena abruptly stood at the beckoning of the voice, and Otto followed suit, remaining right by her side as she journeyed back to the estate.
The speaker was a man from Renz's personal staff with whom Lena had seldom interacted, for he often kept to himself in his apartments on the lowest floor of the castle. He rose before everyone else, and often retired much later.
"Please forgive me, sir...I don't think we've ever been formally introduced," Lena said nervously. The man appeared bashful and began to bow, which embarrassed Lena even further.
"It is I who should apologize, Fräulein. My name is Diederich Groß, I manage the business affairs of Schloss Wolfenbarger," he said.
He was a slight man, not much taller than where she stood, with thinning gray hair and a kind smile. His spectacles were perched at the end of his nose, widening his silvery eyes.
"Of course. And please, do call me Lena. I insist. I'm pleased we are finally meeting," Lena said politely. With another bow, he gently ushered her out of the snow.
"Forgive me...it is not very common to concern a Lady with such affairs. But due to Herr Wolfenbarger's unplanned absence...oh dear..."
Diederich looked positively embarrassed, his pale skin reddened to crimson, but Lena couldn't imagine why the man would be so uncomfortable in her presence.
Was Renz cruel to him too?
"Diederich...what is it? Is there something I can help with?" she asked, increasingly concerned.
He appeared to struggle to speak for several moments, before finally clearing his throat.
"Well, Fräulein...the household staff has not been paid since before Herr Wolfenbarger's departure," he confessed solemnly. Lena's eyes widened.
"Good heavens! Just how many wages are owed?" Lena asked.
Diederich reached into his pocket and produced a small slip of paper. In tidy, elegant handwriting, the amount was displayed.
