Hi Lit friends! It's been far too long, I have missed all of you, and I look forward to catching up!
A brief note about this chapter:
So I've written, scrapped, and re-written several different outlines and drafts for The Keeping of Lena over the last year or so, mainly to see if I could move this story over to the romance category, since I'm truly a sucker for classic HEAs.
Sadly, my attempts were utter rubbish.
As much as I
love
reading and writing traditional romance, it would appear that Lena and Renz want to remain firmly in Non-Con, at least for the foreseeable future. As such, the next few chapters will be more on the rough and dark side of kinky, so consider this fair warning if you prefer your desserts a bit sweeter ;).
Love,
B xoxo
*****
Lena immediately scrambled to her feet at the sound of Ava's scream. She could feel Renz staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak.
But she couldn't bring herself to talk to him.
She could hear him continuing to call her name as she struggled to gather her discarded clothing, fixing herself into something at least resembling modesty, but Lena could not muster the motivation to answer him.
She couldn't even bring herself to look at him.
She could only focus on the mindless motions of dressing.
Lena jumped when she felt his firm touch on her shoulder, immediately struck with a lightning-like surge of inexplicable fright. Overcome by panic, Lena launched herself over to the double doors of the bedroom suite, clutching the gilded handles protectively.
"Lena...I'm not going to hurt you," Renz said slowly.
She swallowed hard as he carefully began to approach her, terror continuing to escalate. She tried to steady her breathing, and remind herself that she had no reason to be frightened. Renz loved her. He'd told her he loved her.
He'd also told her he'd never hurt her again.
But the more Renz approached her, the more fearful she became.
Ava screamed again, and Lena was once more reminded of her purpose. Something had happened to Ava. She needed to go and see her.
She wasn't sure if he'd finally acknowledged her nonverbal cues, but Renz suddenly stopped moving.
"What's happened, Lena?" Renz asked. His deep, powerful voice had softened, filled with concern.
It was too much for her to listen to.
Lena's sweaty palm slipped against the handle as she flung open the door, and she rushed down the hallway before Renz could catch her.
******
******
It was as if it was their first night all over again.
Renz hadn't seen that look in Lena's eyes for months — that expression of sheer terror. She'd looked so tiny and fearful, wordlessly curling herself against the door like a cornered wild animal, retreating from him as if he were some great, terrible monster.
He couldn't understand where exactly he'd gone wrong. She'd
told
him she desired...force. Lena had been so timid, yet so brave, when she'd shared her deepest sexual fantasy, telling him in clear terms precisely what she desired.
The request had at first bothered him, for he knew his own dark lusts were to blame for its manifestation in its innocent host. But it was still an ask he knew he'd never be able to refuse. Renz wanted to be
all
of Lena's fantasies, just as she was the embodiment of all of his desire. He wanted to satisfy her, fully, and indulge all of her wishes.
He wanted her to never feel compelled to seek her pleasure elsewhere.
The night prior, their exploration had been a success. His Lena had climaxed for him more than she ever had, seven sinfully sweet summits that had caused him as much pleasure as his own release.
She'd also told him that she loved him, for the first time.
But tonight, something had gone wrong. He'd fucked her the way she'd wanted, hard, until she was screaming and exploding, her tiny body quivering in pleasure. He knew he hadn't imagined her orgasm, the swelling and pulsing of her sensitive clit, or the way her pussy contracted so tightly, it was nearly painful for him to remain inside of her.
But after their sex, she'd run away from him as if he'd used her against her will.
As if he'd truly forced her again.
Renz replayed their sex, wondering at what point her arousal had become fear. Had she protested? Had he somehow not heard her telling him to stop?
He thought back to the sight of her on her knees, her pretty, curved lips stretched around his cock. She'd looked so beautiful to him, her bright blue eyes staring up at him in nervous anticipation as he'd fucked her small mouth. He'd pumped himself into her deeply, the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat. She'd struggled and gagged against him with delicious wiggles and spasms, further provoking his desire.
Renz felt himself beginning to harden again at the recent memory, as the sounds of her high whimpers and moans began to echo in the empty suite. He could picture her before him again like a phantom, her slender, beautiful body naked, ripe, and vulnerable for his taking. He thought of how delicious and helpless she'd looked partially restrained, with his hand holding her wrists as he'd fucked her from behind. He thought of the sharp, titillating arch of her bare back as his cock had stretched her body, and the way her soft, narrow hips rotated and quivered when he'd begun teasing her clit.
He thought of the way her nipples had hardened when he'd held her back against his torso, his hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. Those sensual muscle lines in her stomach had tautened, her ribs pressed against her stretched skin as if in great strain. It was as if he could
see
the pleasure rolling over every inch of her flesh, the faint goosebumps that had risen and erupted as she came for him, while he was inside of her.
But perhaps it had been a different form of arousal rolling through her body. Perhaps it hadn't been pleasure.
Perhaps it had been fear.
It was a complex coupling, the thin line separating excitement from fear, pleasure from pain, and Renz knew that at some point tonight, he had pushed Lena further than she'd wished to go. Renz had managed to terrorize her again, because once more he'd managed to lose control of himself within her.
He could no longer reason that he'd indulged in force simply to satisfy Lena's unique desires.
Tonight, there had been a very real, unmistakable pleasure within him that had quietly manifested directly from Lena's fear, and Renz knew he needed to silence and destroy that impulse, before it could gain life. It was something dark and violent, not too dissimilar from the sick lusts of the men who had paid his brother handsomely to abuse young, poor women.
Perhaps he and his brother were far more similar than he'd suspected.
Or, perhaps he'd inherited much more from his violent father than he'd hoped.
It was as if some demon inside of him had been reacting to Lena's fear, possessing him, causing him to fuck her harder even when he should have known she was afraid. It didn't matter that her body had kept moistening, that she'd kept squeezing around him — her body was simply defending itself against his assault. He'd forced an orgasm out of her tonight, just as he had the first night he ravaged her.
She hadn't given herself to him willingly.
He'd barely begun to earn her trust, and tonight...it had already shattered. He wasn't sure if Lena could forgive him again.
He wasn't sure if he
wanted
Lena to forgive him.
But if she did, if by some, divine miracle, Lena's resilience granted him another gift of mercy he didn't deserve...Renz knew he'd have to tread carefully. He couldn't indulge in rough, forceful sex with her, despite her sweet begs and pleas, for Lena was simply too innocent, too hopeful and trusting, to understand just what she was asking for.
His Lena, his beautiful, sweet, pure Lena, had no way of knowing the extent of the utter depravity of the dormant, monstrous thing she'd awakened within him.
And he needed to destroy it, before it destroyed her.
******
******
"Ava, I can see the baby's head...I need you to keep pushing," Karl said encouragingly. Lena tried to stifle her scream as Ava squeezed her hand again, hard enough to bring her to tears. She felt something pop in her wrist, and it was immediately followed by a sharp, aggressive pain.
Lena bit down on her inner cheek to stifle her cry, until the metallic taste of blood flooded over her tongue. She didn't dare vocalize her pain, for it was insignificant in comparison to what Ava had suffered with for the past several hours.
Lena had dutifully remained at Ava's bedside as Karl supervised the arrival of the newest Wolfenbarger. Despite Karl's urgent recommendations, Ava had vehemently rejected the presence of any of Karl's nursing staff, as well as the staff of Schloss Wolfenbarger.
And to Lena's private joy, Ava had also rejected the presence of Renz, despite his urgent insistence.
Lena knew that it was just a sense of propriety and decency that prevented Ava from allowing another man, besides Karl, into the birthing room with her while she delivered her child. But she was distantly thankful to Ava nonetheless.
Lena couldn't handle being around Renz yet. She was too afraid.
And too ashamed.
"Goddamnit, Karl, how much longer is this going to take?" Ava moaned weakly. Her lovely features were fixed into an expression of pure agony. Her face was tear stained, and her brow was arched in palpable pain. Her skin was ghostly white, as if all of the blood had been drained from her body.
Lena absently glanced over at the pile of soiled towels and linens that had gathered over the last hour, disturbed by the amount of blood that covered them.
