"Ha ha ha ha!" laughed prison officer Bella Donna, greatly amused at prison officer Billie Jo's cruel parodying of Ross. And I had to admit: prison officer Billie Jo's imitation of my whinging-voiced cellmate was astonishingly spot on. She definitely had quite a talent for mimicry.
Prison officer Billie Jo went on, "I think after the damn good caning I'd given him a week earlier, he was prepared to massage my feet for me; even reconciled himself to letting me use his face as a footrest. But he was still hung up about letting me put my foot in his mouth. I could hardly believe it, Bel, to be honest with you. I mean, how stupid is he? He'd had a full week to get his head around what was expected of him; that should have been plenty of time to come to terms with it. I was going to have my way with him in the end; surely he had to know that? Is he a moron, or what? Did he actually think I was going to allow him to cherry-pick? Why did he have to make things so difficult for himself - and for me? I thought: 'Right! No more pussyfooting about! If this, is what being nice does! If this, is where being lenient gets me!' Suffice to say, Bel, I wasn't best pleased, with his pointless intransigence."
"I'll bet!" said prison officer Bella Donna, glaring angrily down at my cellmate, who was assuming the position for Foot Service at prison officer Billie Jo's feet. "And neither would I have been, BJ, if faced with such wilful obstinacy."
Prison officer Billie Jo continued, "So, when he defied me that second time; tried to take advantage of my good nature again, I was having none of it. I didn't pussyfoot about this time - oh no! I thought: 'I'm going to bust his slow-learning balls for him!' So I did what I should have done in the first place, instead of being so softhearted: I applied to the Governor for a Written Approval Order, to have him put on the Wheel of Chastisement."
"It's the old 'Be-cruel-to-be-kind thing again, isn't it, BJ? So much of our prisoners' needless pain and suffering could so easily be saved. But they will insist upon bringing it upon themselves. The prisoners are their own worst enemies, BJ. They need saving from themselves."
"I know, Bel. The Governor thinks that Greystone's rules and punishments are strict enough and severe enough already. But I would very much like to see them much further reinforced. A more stringent, tough-love regime could only be good for the prisoners' welfare; could only help them to stay in line, and out of trouble. But we have no say in these matters, Bel. We are just prison officers, aren't we? We don't make new rules, we just ensure that the current ones are strictly enforced."
"I absolutely agree, BJ. The prisoners have much too cushy a time of it here - much too cushy a time! Oh, things would be very different, if we had any say!"
"Yes. Anyway, Bel, as I was saying... The ball was in prisoner Chapman's court, wasn't it? How he played it, was entirely up to him. Simply by doing what I'd told him to do - assume the position - he could have saved himself from all of that pain and suffering, down in the gymnasium. Simply by using his own initiative - obeying my orders to provide me with Foot Service - he could so easily have avoided his harrowing ordeal; could so easily have spared himself his terrible humiliation, in front of an audience of female prison officers. But he chose not to. Instead, he chose to resist futilely. Like I said, Bel, he wasn't thinking straight - thinking coherently and logically... But he is now."
"BJ, maybe that's what the Greystone Prison motto should be: 'Be Cruel to be Kind'. It says it all, doesn't it? It would be such a good policy to adopt. I mean... it does no good, does it, to go too easy on the prisoners? Not in the long run. We'd be doing them no favours, if we cut them some slack. That could only be to their detriment. We wouldn't be acting in their best interests, if we didn't bring them to book - didn't forcefully address the errors of their ways - each and every time they behaved with impropriety, where females are concerned. If we came over all hearts-and-flowers all of the time, and let them make a song and dance about every little thing, well, it would only have a negative, rehabilitation-hindering influence on them, that could only in turn adversely affect their life-chances... And, I remember the Governor was quite amenable to your Ball-Bust request, wasn't she, BJ?"
"The Governor was as good as gold about it, Bel. Once I'd explained my case; made her fully aware of the nature of prisoner Chapman's repeated noncompliance, she immediately approved my request to have a Ball-Bust. She was absolutely all for it. She told me that such obdurate noncooperation from prisoners was intolerable, and can never go unchecked. She said: 'Officer Billie Jo, whatever needs to be done, must be done. We can't have prisoners saying 'No' to us!' She said she was rather surprised that prisoner Chapman's first course of treatment hadn't done the trick, but that, unless he was one of the rare breed One-in-a-hundred category of prisoner, the stronger medicine I was now prescribing for him would be sure to cure him. She even fast-tracked the Written Approval Order for the Wheel of Chastisement so that I could administer prisoner Chapman's remedial therapy without delay... And, as you can see, Bel... he's been all the better for it. The results speak for themselves, don't they? Oh, it did him a world of good, his little ride on the Wheel. He's never said 'No' to me, since."
"Yes, BJ, and that's exactly what I'm thinking... That a ride on the Wheel of Chastisement will do prisoner Lightwood the world of good, too. That it will clear his head. That it will get him wearing his thinking-cap. That it will make him see reason. That it will get him thinking straight - thinking coherently and logically."
"Oh, I think it will, Bel... prisoner Lightwood doesn't look like a One-in-a-hundred to me."
"He doesn't to me, either... I think he's just being stubborn. Just being obdurate. In disrespecting me, in disobeying me, in defying me, in not bowing to my authority, he must know that he is letting himself in for a world of pain and humiliation - surely, his cellmate must have warned him? I think he's just showing token resistance, that's all. Pseudo macho bravado. That's why he said 'No' to me. He's trying to save a bit of face. He doesn't think much to the consequences of his noncompliance."
"Yes, Bel. Just like his cellmate - and we all know what happened to him!"
"Right, BJ. I'm going to radio Control, and do exactly as you did: I'm going to ask Natalie to see if she can get the Governor to fast-track a Written Approval Order for the Wheel of Chastisement. So that I can get things in motion for the Ball-Bust now, straight away, and administer prisoner Lightwood's remedial therapy without delay."
"It's all for the best, Bel. You'll see. Prisoner Lightwood is obviously every bit as stupid as his idiot cellmate, and he needs his retarded mind making up for him as well. Absolute imbeciles, the both of them. Talk about slow learners! What a pair they make. Obviously they were both right at the very back of the queue when the brains were given out, and they've had to make do with what was left."
Turning to me, prison officer Billie Jo said with malicious glee, "Did you hear all that, prisoner Lightwood? Eh? Officer Bella Donna is going to have your balls! She's going to bust your balls! And it is going to really, really hurt! And, do you know something? I hope I get to watch it. And not just the Ball-Bust itself, but also what happens to you right after. In fact, with any luck I might even be assigned to the caning-party. The Wheel of Chastisement is a sure cure for prisoners' defiance - just ask your cellmate. I soon crushed the resistance out of him - not that the little worm was much of a challenge... And look at him now, prisoner Lightwood. Just look at him now..."
I looked at him now... As far as my cellmate was concerned, there was no arguing with prison officer Billie Jo's grasp of the state of affairs.
"Just five minutes on the Wheel of Chastisement. That was plenty of time to sort prisoner Chapman out. More than enough. By the time I'd finished with him - finished administering my five barefoot kicks to his fully exposed testicles - he was all nice and clear-headed. Oh yes. He was certainly wearing his thinking-cap! All of a sudden, lo and behold: he was thinking straight - thinking coherently and logically. At last, he'd seen the errors of his ways. He was suddenly seeing reason: he'd knelt at my feet, grovelled with apology, vowed his future obedience, and literally begged to provide whatever manner of Foot Service I might wish to avail myself of him - he'd do anything, he told me, to avoid another Ball-Bust."
My god! I thought. What sort of woman was she?
"Yes: he'd finally managed to cross his stupid 'line'. You know, the line he'd told me he wouldn't cross? But, believe me, he crossed it the hard way. So hard, he cried himself to sleep that night - and for nights after, too... And, prisoner Lightwood, by the time officer Bella Donna has finished with you, you'll be all nice and clear-headed, too. Oh yes. You'll be wearing your thinking-cap. And then you'll be thinking straight - thinking coherently and logically: You'll see the errors of your ways, at last. And then you'll start seeing reason. You'll be grovelling with apology, vowing your future obedience, and literally begging officer Bella Donna to let you provide whatever manner of Foot Service, for her! And, prisoner Lightwood, when you are crying yourself to sleep tonight - and for nights after, too - remember: you asked for it!"
