There are moments, when ones desires need to be restricted, in order to become focused. Cleared of all irrelevance, in a fleeting state of purity, one can find pleasure of utmost proportions.
Codes: F/m, slow, reluctant, humiliation
Chapter One
Nurturing
She slowly undid another shirt button, feigning a playful indifference, as if it was to merely relieve her of pent up heat. But she knew of the effect her décolleté would have on the young man curled up next to her.
"And there will be times, when I will punish you."
He looked at her with his clear brown eyes, and she could see in his expression that he was uncomfortable with what she just said. She met his inquiring look with her own matronly stare.
"Yes R. I'm going to discipline you. Pain is an essential part in our life. Why do you think we evolved the way we did? Through pain we are reminded of our weakness. But shouldn't we also be encouraged by its potential to correct? I firmly believe punishment is a crucial element in the upbringing of any male. So I'm going to right you, when you are lost. Consider this as a form of maternal guidance."
She waited, knowing this was hard for him to swallow. And when he was about to reply, she continued.
"I told you earlier, that I've always desired to be a mother myself when I was young. Maybe the Lord thought I wasn't ready then." She paused for a moment, overcome with emotions. "Anyway it didn't happen. I never became pregnant. But over time I was able to accept, that this might be his plan for me to fulfill my maternal duties elsewhere. Through his guidance I became involved in community service and discovered my passion for working with needy youngsters. Helping hapless boys gave me a renewed purpose in life. I'm only doing his bidding. But you know that already, do you?"
R. nodded silently. He felt irritated by her speaking of him as merely a boy. It was belittling, making him feel immature, which of course he was, when he considered their difference in age. And he felt uncomfortable about her speaking of punishment.
"As it comes with age, you have a clearer view on things in life, consequently I know that punishment alone is not enough for boys, it has to be accompanied by love and affection. And you know how much I care about you."
R. wanted to tell her, but she silenced his effort by placing a finger on his mouth. Her gesture again stirred varied emotions in him. The softness of her touch made him longing for more, but her words caused concern.
"It gives me great comfort, that you too wished for me to be your governess." She paused briefly and added "... even though I would rather describe my custody as guiding counselor. I will be demanding at times. You will sometimes think that I ask too much of you. But you must never fear me, as my purpose is to support, and if you so choose, to be your companion. I will honor your trust with commitment and love, to provide you with guidelines until you are ready to embark on our own."
She could clearly detect anxiety in his eyes and contrary to her words she enjoyed the obvious apprehension in his face.
"I know people talk about me, when they see me do my work with vigor. I sense the gossip behind my back; can trace the uneasiness in their expressions, when they try to influence my work with half-hearted advice. I have been called a lot of things in my life." Again she waited, observing him, as if she was able to read his thoughts before continuing „How do people call me behind my back, R.?"
He could not answer. Part of him found it inappropriate to tell her what he heard - they called her a dominant, unyielding, sadistic bitch -, but the larger reason was his unwillingness to acknowledge, that there might be some truth in those observations, and the simple fact that she was now his guardian. R. averted his eyes. He could not meet her questioning glance and decided to remain silent.
She continued. "But you know R.; I am able to bear the burden when people misjudge me. Since these are only their own projections, their own anxieties, their own insecurities transferred on me, I'm willing to endure them. See, there is pain everywhere. I promise you, there will not be any vagueness in our relationship."
R. didn't like where this was going. There was no underlying eroticism anymore. He had thought their intimate cuddling in this small bedroom after the incident earlier, would lead to something. He didn't really know what he was hoping for, but it sure felt nice. He had been enchanted by her. She radiated so much femininity. She had weakened his renewed resolve just as easily, as she had given him comfort in his trauma. But the lewd sexual tension her mature sensuality had stirred in him, troubled him the most. He was a still tense when he finally looked at her.
She had seen it all along, known it from the beginning. It's all been so easy. He was so eager to please. So eager to make a good impression and yet so easily manipulated. She relished the tension. She kept looking into his eyes until he lowered them, torn in ambivalence, between his obvious desire for her and his natural shyness. She observed his glance slowly moving down her neck, and again trying to secretly peek at her bosom.
They had both stretched out comfortably on his bed. R. simply couldn't stop glancing at her large breasts, while she relaxed by his side. She wore a delicately designed brassiere underneath her shirt, which still covered most of her voluptuous décolleté. John could almost anticipate the hidden treasures behind the decorative design and swallowed uncomfortably, once again overcome by the prickling feeling caused by her intimacy. Time seemed to have come to a stop. She didn't say anything for a while. She smelled nice; mature, saturated womanly, a very different kind of smell, compared to the young girls R. has met. There was glowing warmth radiating from her body.
She savored his youthful arousal, his obvious interest in her caused by their sudden intimacy. Again she waited, watching him as he tried to shift his position to conceal his growing excitement underneath his pajama. She had been delighted earlier to discover the small wet spot in his nether region, so obviously caused by fluid leaking from his craving member. She preferred male who could not hide their emotions, that's why they had be young, more likely to accept her rule.
All the while, during their one-sided conversation, she had - little by little - opened most of the buttons on her shirt. Her brassiere was now almost fully visible to his longing eyes. As she undid the last button, part of the shirt opened up, revealing an exquisitely embroidered bra. His eyes greedily took pleasure in her revelation, piercing the fine material for the mysteries beneath it. She always liked the effect her ample bosom had on men. She made a mocking sound. R.'s face immediately colored, as he had unsuccessfully tried to hide his voyeurism.
