'Slave'
One that has their mind, body and soul taken from them without permission.
'Submissive'
One that gives over their rights, desires and themselves, willingly, to another. As a gift.
The thick red line between these two words have blurred. I have confused them and I do not know on which side I stand. I'm not allowed to place one foot on each term. Although my body craves the one, my mind still stands firmly on the other. Could I ever decide to take a leap of faith and cross that thick crimson line?
The General has made it clear that he will be taking my gift weather I like it or not. But if I give it to him, willingly, I will hold all the power. He will never have any power over me.
*
Ever since I arrived at the General's mansion, everyone has spoken about this Bonding Ceremony. So many things have happened and so many things still need to take place.
"What is the point of dressing up like this?" I asked Lilith who was placing the last bit of powder on my cheeks.
"This is a very auspicious occasion Mistress." She said with a bit of excitement in her voice. "You are the last Acadian, thus it will be the last Bonding Ceremony. It is said that you will bring great victory to the Master."
"I don't see the importance in the matter. I haven't peaked yet. I don't think I ever will." I breathed. Memories of the little stories Mamma told me as we sat around the village fire came rushing back. Sometimes it can take 40 years for an Acadian to peak and gain her energy.
"That is why the Ceremony is so important. All the Acadian women will gather and tap into your energy and in turn, they will release it. Mistress." She added politely.
"Than why call it a Bonding Ceremony, why not call it a Power Unlocking or something like that?" I giggled at my strange thoughts on the matter.
"Mistress may I speak freely?" Lilith asked.
"You have been very kind to me Lilith. And in return, I want you to see me as a friend and I too want to see a friend in you."
"I want to see you smile more often Mistress." Something about her made me feel at ease. Her spirit seems content, although she has no say over her life.
"Oh Lilith." I sighed. "How can I smile when my life doesn't belong to me anymore?"
"Mistress. The Master is not as cruel as the rest." She said. "I have seen far worst treatment on the other slave girls." Her tone seemed to sadden.
"The Master has a heart. Although it might not seem that way. He saved me."
"From what did he save you?" I asked curiously.
"I was a young girl when my mother fell ill. I had no home, no family and soon after my mother's death, I was enslaved. I was sold to a bitter man who found an unusual hobby of whipping his new toy."
I could feel the emotion building up in her. Her voice became heavy with sorrow as she recalled.
"One day we visited the General and that is when he saw the lashes on my body. The General payed the King buckets of gold for my deed. "
"So the King was your previous Master?" I asked as I could feel my own heart burst with sympathy.
"No." She said firmly. "The General erased my past. I only belong to him. I owe him my life Mistress." She exclaimed.
The room fell silent. I reached out and touched her. That one gesture held a million words.
"We need to leave for the Ceremony. " She said jumping from the bed.
A loud sigh escaped my lips. I slid of the high bed and stood on the cold hardwood floor with my freshly scrubbed feet and painted toes. I can't remember the last time I felt so clean.
Lilith opened the big double doors and immediately I could sense the First Soldier and other soldiers too. I cringed at the memory of our last encounter.
"Mistress." He said politely greeting me.
"What happened to 'slave'?" I asked confused at his gentleman like behavior towards me.
"You are still a slave." He scoffed. He seemed irritated at my question. I knew the General must have scared him a little.
"How is your neck?" I asked rhetorically. I could feel the anger bubbling up inside him. We both knew I could defend myself.
"Why exactly do we need so many soldiers?" I asked irritated as we walked down the hall.
"Safety reasons."
I counted the number of footsteps I took down the stairs, how many turns I took. I mapped out the mansion in my mind, taking note of all it's characteristics. Hopefully I will be healed soon and I won't be needing it. I wonder what it will be like to see for the first time? It's not like I see pitch black when I open my eyes. I just see blurry images, I can see colours but I cannot see the shape or the tiny details that everyone else can. How amazingly frightening it will be to be reborn and experience the world all over again?
We finally made it to the outside world. The sun touched my skin for the first time in days. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Everything felt so different. People moved all around me. Mumbled conversations, loud stomps of horses. The smell of freshly baked bread filled my senses and freshly picked flowers too. Something was missing. Something lacked in the air.
At that moment the General's sweet scent crossed my mind. That raspberry and mint swirl and even that expensive cigar smell made me tingle.
Lilith and I sat quietly in the leather seats of the couch that was on its way to the ceremony. Lilith grabbed my hand as we came closer. I could hear the whispers of many people. Fear finally sank in my tummy when trumpets went off. I could have guessed that there were many people around me.
Lilith still held my hand in a tight grip. I don't know if it was to lead me through the crowd or if it was out of fear? That fear that I sensed around her only made me more nervous about what was to come. She walked beside me, the First Soldier in front of me and the rest of the soldiers were all around us.
Moments passed until we entered a small room. Many people were there but The General's presence was very noticeable.
"Ah yes Katia!" The General exclaimed from across the room. Lilith guided me towards him. "Thank you, that will be all."
I would have begged Lilith to stay. I needed the support. I know perfectly well that my guard crumbles when I'm around Emeric.