*a note on pronouns: no disrespect intended
I was walking through a mall food court, still in awe of how malls had died in the last 20 years. When I went into prison, all the kids hung out there which inevitably caused problems in a town where the only other thing to do was drink and get high. But now? The whole place is a ghost town.
That's how I noticed the college kids at the far table, eating greasy pizza. Like any real man, I assessed whether or not the kid was a threat. His hair was doing some kind of punk rock thing with pink and purple dye jobs and there were a lot of piercings. Nose, ears.
He's with his girl, so he might want to act big and bad to show off. But he was tiny- no more than 120 pounds, somehow petite. I knew I could take him. He said something and stuck his tongue out, it was pierced.
And then he caught my eye. He smiled, and it told me everything I needed to know.
One thing you learn in prison that the movies don't show you- sometimes that "feminized prisoner" thing is voluntary.
I know, it sounds absurd. The truth is 20 years is a long fuckin time. People say they're not gay, and it turns into a bedrock belief deeper than any religion. Really it's all about context. When your cell mate is a skinny little tight bodied trans whore who is also doing 20 years, and your other choices are murderers and skinheads- you might end up doing some stuff you said was gay before you went in. Turns out, fuck it- in for a penny in for pound.
That introduces you to the real sluts. Not the ones you call themselves sluts to each other in the clubs while getting drunk on a Friday night. I mean the sluts who would happily live in a Viking warlord's harem if they could. Drinking and getting high and constantly naked and fucking every second they could. Just to feel safe about being such a cock whore.
They're in porn, of course- but not all porn has real sluts. If you're a man, a REAL man, you know them when you see them. It's in the eyes. Woman or man- it's the same look.
What happens in prison sometimes is that a skinhead will rape a cell mate and that cell mate will turn into a real slut. You'd have to see it to believe it, but it happens. They'll be dressing up as women as best they can and telling other prisoners they'll suck them off if their skinhead daddy allows it.
I heard a neighbor do this multiple times over the years without fail. No snitching in prison, so it stays with you. And now imagine your cellmate already had it happen on his last stretch.
They'll get out and keep going. Street whores, clubbing scene- the proof is out there.
But sometimes you meet one in the wild. Someone who went down the rabbit hole of being a slut for a different reason than being turned into one. It's another part of the world outside prison that I loved- internet porn.
Now the sluts could understand without being taken. Now they could have a choice, and embrace it willingly.
I stopped in my tracks and the petite little food court slut stopped smiling.
Fear set in for him, afraid I had misinterpreted his smile. His head dipped and he said something to his "girlfriend", but by then I had already walked over and stood like a mountain.
I had gained a lot of weight in prison, all muscle. After about 20 minutes of different sizes of jeans earlier in the week I said fuck it and grabbed some sweatpants. Not a good look when you're trying to find a job, but great for these situations.
I stood next to them and rubbed my stiffening cock against the edge of the table. I didn't even look at his "girlfriend", I locked onto his eyes and clenched my jaw. He saw my eyes.
"Where are the bathrooms?", I said from a thousand feet up.
