Chapter 1
If depression is merely anger without enthusiasm, then anxiety is merely fear without reason, and this fear comes with an additive effect for those who are infected; for the greater the mystery that surrounds its source, the more pronounced the effect becomes. And unfortunately for her, Tracey was among the most qualified to showcase this truth.
Tracey couldn't understand why she felt so anxious; considering the number of times she had accepted new clients she felt like she should have been used to it by now. Though maybe she had that all backwards; perhaps the build up to every new encounter would only serve to intensify with time -- for the longer that nothing bad ever happened to her, the greater the chances were that something finally would.
Either way she could still feel her heart pounding rapidly as her demons tormented her with wave after wave of all worst possible outcomes, and so she did what she always did: recited to herself what they had told her to do.
If he wants you to be happy, then act happy. If he wants you to be sad, then act sad.
Such simplicity marred her reflection in the mirror; she wore what they told her to wear, painted her face like they told her to paint it, styled her hair like they told her to style it... and she did so because her life was better when she complied with their wishes. Thus, in that moment she was as complacent as she was presentable.
She was so transfixed with these ponderings that the knock on the door genuinely frightened her, and she wondered why she was so often cursed with such fear. Was it her punishment for not being happier with all the prestige and luxury?
The knock came again.
Shit I'm late
, she thought. She grabbed a few ice cubes and placed them very specifically underneath her shirt, a trick that they assured her would help communicate enthusiasm with respect to third party interest. She couldn't understand why she had to mimic these indicators of excitement, or why they always insisted that she should do everything she could to augment certain physical traits that the clients found so endearing. Not that she gave it much thought... because after all, life was far better when she didn't think too much and simply complied with their wishes.
Ready at long last, she finally opened the door. "Welcome," she told the stranger with a weak smile. "Won't you please come in?"
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Marshal was nervous as he waited; should he knock for a third time or would that just make him seem like the rude and pushy type? Just as he was wondering if he should try contacting the intermediaries, at long last the door finally opened.
"Welcome," she told him with a weak smile. "Won't you please come in?" Not only did he want to accept her invitation, but he also didn't want to frighten her any more than he had to and so he made sure there was plenty of space between them as he walked past her and into the dining area.
The money he paid did not disappoint; he was in a presidential suite on the 50th floor, thus offering him one of the finest views there was of the city below. He helped himself to the scotch that was on the stand beside him as he marveled in awe over the visual, and for the briefest of moments he almost felt like he was part of the bustling activity and vibrant nightlife that was on ready display before him.
My goodness
, he thought to himself.
Whoever gets to wake up to this view must be one of the happiest people in the world.
"Incredible, isn't it?" she asked. And just like that he was brought back to reality, and he wondered just how long she had been there with him.
"I hope you can forgive me," he told her. "For any discomfort I could ever hope to cause you would surely just be a manifestation of the intense and everlasting jealousy that I'd naturally feel towards anyone who got to appreciate a view such as this on a regular basis."
She wasn't sure if she understood him and so she just smiled and nodded.
Don't worry about being smart or clever,
they told her.
Your compliance is far more important than anything you could ever hope to tell them
. As he continued to just stand there while not doing anything, she started to second guess herself. Was she doing something wrong? Was he merely a hostile actor exploiting the moment before inflicting upon her a sinister fate?
"You know I can always leave if I've given you cause to feel uncomfortable," he told her. Ironically, his offer only served to frighten her even more
. Was that a lucky guess or am I making myself too obvious?
she thought.
"Please, that's really not necessary," she assured him. "Feel free to stay as long as you'd like, and in the meantime," she said as she placed her hand on his shoulder, "please let me know if there's anything I could ever do to help make your visit a more agreeable one."
Marshal was always extremely sensitive to even the slightest touches that beautiful women extended to him, as they often induced an endless series of possibilities and potential which unfolded rapidly in quick succession.
"Well, there might be one thing you could do for me," he told her softly.
And here it finally comes,
she thought as her heart raced quickly against all the flashbacks of her previous requests.
Take off your shirt, get on your knees, come sit on daddy's lap and if you're soaking wet then it might mean that you need a spanking...
"Help me solve a mystery," he told her at last.
"A m-mystery?" she stuttered as her flashbacks continued.
How large are your tits, what size bra do you wear, do you really prefer men, what position do you cum the hardest, do you like anal...
"Perhaps you could help me figure out how it all came down to this?" he asked.
It was clear that she didn't understand what he was getting atg and so he elaborated. "I dress well, I'm polite, I'm well-spoken, I'm gainfully employed and educated... and yet regardless, here I still am today, universally decried as undesirable by all women everywhere and forced to pay for my affections like a lowborn ruffian possessing the most unruly of all possible characters."
Flustered by the strange and incoherent monologue, she proceeded with caution. "Sir?" she asked. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Personally I think you're quite handso..."
Visibly agitated at this point, he didn't let her finish. "So that means you won't tell me why you or any other woman would find me so unattractive? I must say that if this request is too much for you to handle then you really should rephrase the wording of your advertisement, which clearly stated an express willingness to accommodate all sorts of unorthodox preferences."
If his goal had been to alleviate any fear or anxiety she might have possessed, then in a way he had succeeded. For in that moment she felt nothing but bitter contempt towards the highly unusual newcomer. The way that he had said "too much for you too handle" was especially irritating, because after all, who was he to presume just how much she could handle? Despite having no desire to participate in whatever game that he wanted to play, she still took a few moments to look at him and make an honest assessment, something that she never really did with clients.
Normal height, scrawny build, oddly shaped eyes, lengthy hair that probably appeared more untidy than it actually was... although she would never be the one to tell him, he was as unremarkable and as easy to overlook as they came, and coupled with his queer manner of speech, snide commentary and rather ghostly complexion, she wasn't surprised in the slightest that he was suffering from the affliction that he so readily described.
"I really have no idea why they'd feel that way about you, sir. I on the other hand though..."
Again, he interrupted her. "Well then, why would you charge me for your affections if I wasn't so undesirable?" he rudely demanded.
She was really starting to lose patience with such an absurdly ridiculous question, and at this point she genuinely felt that he might be suffering from a mild form of mental retardation.
"Sir, I can assure you that it's nothing remotely personal. The plain fact of the matter is that I charge everyo..."
"If you charge everyone then does that mean that you charged for your first time as well?" he interrupted again.