George, my husband, asked for a divorce. I wasn't able to hear him. I was yelling at Ridley. "You stole your sister's shoes? They don't even fit you?"
"He sniffs them, Mom. I think he gets off on them."
"Hey, I don't do anything to them!" My son shook both of the narrow, canvas shoes at Peg his sister. "Mom! She acts so goody-goody but she torments me when you and Dad have a date night."
"I do not - unless you cross me first!" Peg eyes trembled at me. "He's lying!" She plainly lied. She was fourteen. Ridley was thirteen. George and I had planned them to be close in age, so they would get along. My womb served them up on schedule, but there was no joy in the Fairchild family. Our children had fought over which tit to drink from, before they'd said their first word.
Instead of Mommy or Daddy, she spat her first word at her brother, "Dummy!" A few weeks later, he called her, "Baybee," Mangling and drawing out the word.
George and I had to pry them apart several times a week. That was the scope of our joy of parenting - for fourteen and thirteen exhausting years. George ran out of joy first. "Leen! I said I can't take this marriage anymore!"
I'm Colleen, but what used to be a charming nickname had become a bitter sound that scraped my ears! I turned from our terrible teens and calmed into utter coldness. "Oh, no, George Fairchild. I took your name. I promised to love and care for you. It may have been a two hundred dollar ring and the ceremony was in your parents' backyard, but it meant something to me! You don't get to back out until I kick you out."
He instantly got defensive. "My folks backyard is a freaking National Forest!"
"Then I guess it was just our luck that the Forest Service leased the property to the local paper mill, a week before our wedding. The ground was covered in dying branches, except for the hundreds of holes where trees used to be!"
"Don't you take crap from her, Daddy!" Peg encouraged. "She probably pretends to have orgasms."
"Shut up, you teen witch!" Ridley barked at his sister.
I wanted to run from the room and cry, but I didn't have the energy. I trudged past my suffering husband. Peg said something stupid to Ridley. I rounded the corner to the front entryway when I hear my husband sigh. I plucked my keys from the hook and barely remembered my purse. Our children kept yammering at each other.
I was careful to the lock the door behind me. Reaching our old Volvo, I slunk into the driver's seat and let the dam break.
The drive to the shoreline is lost to me. I cut the engine in the park's lot and resumed crying. George and I had decent jobs, a failing marriage, and two psychopathic children. I rolled down the window to catch the ocean breeze. It stank of dying fish and decaying seaweed.
You ran away again. My mind scolded me. You yelled at your husband and ran away. I rebutted myself. Only because he didn't run away first. George had actually stood up for himself. Right in the middle of a normal fight between our kids, he'd stood his ground and declared he wanted a divorce.
Well, I wanted one too, but the numerous complications which arise when a married couple with children contemplate divorce are like a landslide on your soul. I had to pull a fresh tissue from my purse, but when I blew my nose, it escaped my trembling fingers and flew out of the window! Snot soiled empty hands.
"Hey, Lady! Don't be throwing garbage out of your car." A deep voice scolded.
I looked up from my grossly coated hands and looked across the parking lot. A grey haired, black man glared back at me. "Pick that up, Lady. I don't care if you have to chase it into the ocean and drown. I may be down on my luck, but I put my trash in a can."
"I-I'm sorry. The wind-" I started, but the large man's eyes held no mercy. I unlocked the door with gooey hands and climbed out. The tissue had caught in a small bush, fortunately. I stumbled over to it and bent down. He strode up to me like a park ranger. Seeing me shrink from his imposing presence, he grinned an awful grin. "Nice tits, Lady."
"Hey!" I grabbed the neckline of my top. Snot soaked into the frayed cotton. The blouse was old, and I only wore it around the house. The top button had popped off long ago, but I never found the right time to afix the spare. I did pluck the tissue from the bush, but a little piece tore off. I straightened. Where was the trash can? I looked around. I managed to wipe a little goo off of my hand.
"You didn't get it all."
I faced him. "I will. I just need a moment." That first moment I spent sizing up the bold man. He was tall, maybe six feet something, taller than George, wider too. He claimed to be down on his luck, but his clothes were clean enough for a walk along the shoreline. The stench of the shoreline masked whatever he smelled like. I thought he had been muscular once, but his arms and legs were puffy. He wasn't very fat. His tummy bulged somewhat though. His gray, kinked hair was balding. I guessed he was in his early fifties. I was forty three, and I wished my skin was as smooth as his which was black like milk chocolate. Mine might have been peach, but stress made it look whiter.
"You've been crying." He observed.
"Leave me alone. I'll get the damn shard." I bent down. A large hand grabbed my right elbow.
"Let me look at you." He threatened. At least I took it as a threat. His voice remained strong without anger.
"Let me go." I asked.
"First tell me why you were crying. I got all day." His hand loosened a little but George wouldn't have had strength enough to escape the black man's grip.
I wanted to tell him off, but I had no strength in my heart. "My husband wants a divorce."
"Tell him no." He replied instantly, firmly.
"Please let go of me."
His eyes flashed at me. His hand opened. "Stay right there."
I didn't dare budge.
He bent down and combed the shard of tissue off the bush. He ground it in his hand and put it in his mouth. He stood while chewing on it. "You got any food?"
"No. Do you want the money in my purse?" I hoped that by offering cash, he might take it and go."
"Yeah, but I want to talk more. This way." He started walking to the trash can. I fell in behind him.
Reaching the can, he opened the lid. I dropped the soiled tissue within, and he covered it. He hadn't said anything. Turning around, he walked to my car. "How long you been married?"
"Seventeen years."
"Got kids?"
I couldn't tell him that. "No."
He halted and spun around. "Let me check." His paws tugged the top of my blouse open without ripping it. "Just a sec." He reached in, and with incredible dexterity for the size of his fingers, he unfastened the front clasp of my bra.
"Hey! I'll scream."
"You got nothing to scream about. I'm just checking." His meaty fingers hefted both of my somewhat sagging breasts. "If you do scream, I'll act all innocent and everyone will think you're a fucking Karen."
I sputtered a nothing word.