Many thanks to
Guinahart,
my wonderful editor, whose advice was priceless and without whom it would have been impossible to finish this story.
*****
She's wearing the pink-white chemise, which he thinks is astonishing. Hasn't Marie - a sophisticated as well as good looking graduate student in her final year - just made it clear that it is
over?
It wasn't a nice scene. Of course, it wasn't the first time in their 2 month relationship that, like a hailstorm out of the blue sky, a plethora of accusations and insults lashed down on him.
As usual, her allegations sounded somewhat confused and had no basis in reality. Nevertheless, they were directed at him with an explosive energy that made him feel chilly inside. He knew that in these situations it was useless to appeal to her common sense. When she had one of her fits she was inaccessible to any kind of logical reasoning. At the end there was only one thing that was certain: never,
ever
again could there be anything resembling a relationship between them. She isn't talking to him anymore; and naturally, sex is
totally
out of the question.
Nonetheless, fifteen minutes later she comes out of the bathroom, and of all things she is wearing the pink-white chemise. The pink-white chemise is the most flimsy garment she possesses, a kind of T-shirt which is so short, it doesn't even properly cover her bum. Plus, she is well aware of its effect on him. It just drives him crazy with lust when she's wearing this thing! Especially when, like now, she isn't wearing anything underneath. He couldn't help noticing that when she emerged out of the bathroom and strutted directly past him, ostensibly ignoring his presence. Right now she is lying quietly in the bed, as if there had never been any disagreement between them. She appears to be waiting for him.
He's unsure what to do. She looks at him with this melancholy and analysing gaze of hers, watching as he hesitates to accept what he perceives as an unspoken invitation. His hesitation is short-lived. Her slender body with its pale skin, smallish breasts and long legs, has always attracted him like a magnet. To him, she is the embodiment of female-provocative sexuality; and she knows it.
He thinks of her lying under the sheets practically naked. It's enough to make his longing for her stir. Ignoring the flashing warning lights in his head, he slowly and deliberately undresses. He makes sure she can see him take off all of his clothes, so there are no doubts about his intentions. Then he joins her in the bed, naked as he is. He cuddles up to her and puts his arm around her shoulder in a placatory gesture. She permits it but doesn't react. She seems distant. What is going on in her mind?
He has often asked himself that question during those last weeks. Frequently he has been at a complete loss to explain her behaviour, especially when she has one of her unpredictable fits of rage. More often than not, these fits result in her declaring the end of their relationship; something she usually seems to forget after a short while. In short, their relationship resembles a perpetual roller coaster ride. He has never experienced anything like this in his life. He has a feeling that being with her has not only turned his every day life upside down but also is having an effect on how he behaves as a person in general.
Oh dear God. If only he wouldn't be so besotted with her. She could be the most charming, imaginative woman he had ever met. Their impetuous affair had carried him to previously unknown emotional and sexual heights; only to be crushed down to earth with all might. These crushing moments were the times when he wished he had never met her. He has come to realize that with her, he couldn't be sure of
anything,
ever. Occasionally, he has quietly been asking himself which one of them actually
was
of sound mind. Was it her, or was it him who was - well, crazy?
He lifts up the duvet, supports his weight on his elbow and stretches one of his legs across her. He looks at her musingly and starts running his hand slowly across her. He traces the shape of her torso, feels the delicate skin under the thin fabric of her chemise. She does not resist but she keeps her legs fiercely crossed - as if to emphasise that these legs are never again going to open for
him.
He's now doing his best to seduce her by way of tenderness; he strokes her hair, delicately touches her small breasts through the soft cloth. She turns her head sideways and stares at the wall. Her expression is that of the silently suffering martyr. Her mind seems to be in a different world - a world that no one except her has access to. He pushes his hand lightly between her knees. She responds by emphatically pressing them together. All the while, she does not look at him and doesn't say a word. She demonstrates that she is refusing his advances, but something is wrong.
So she doesn't want to be shagged?
Well yes, she said as much, didn't she. But then why is she, right now, lying in bed with him? How can she
not
realise that her chemise is less of a garment, but rather an invitation to jump on her and just fuck her? Doesn't she notice that this flimsy thing has already ridden up to her navel, and that her uncovered
mimi
is only inches from his hard cock?