Are you a vampire, a demon, or a ghost? Maybe you're the devil himself? You must be. How could you do this to me? How could you take me like this, all for yourself, so selfishly, with no remorse? Look what you've done to me.
I feel so wrong when I think about you, but I want it so bad that I don't really care. I tell myself that I don't feel anything. I convince myself that I am numb and can't feel the pain you inflicted on me, in me. But as soon as I get a moment alone with my thoughts, I can't stop. It's like a guilty pleasure.
I just want you out of my head. You consume my mind with your dark, twisted, selfish need for me. I know you're not good for me and I am not good for you. Am i? This hunger you feel, that only I can satiate, will only grow if I surrender myself to you. Surrender my soul. My body.
Trust me, I hate myself for wanting more, but I do. I want more. You confuse me immensely. You pull me in with your words and your mind. I got captured by the fantasy you were dancing in front of my face.
You gave me all the magic I desired and then just pulled it all back. Took it all away from me. Like sucking the life out of my poor soul.
You teased my heart. Tickled my soul. I thought it was love, the way you effortlessly said and did all the right things. Little did I know you were fighting your own devilish desires. You forged them when you laid eyes on me, focused like that of a predator on its prey. From that moment on, my body and soul were yours to sacrifice, to satiate yourself with. You salivated at the thought of my holes dripping with your cum, while the smell and taste of mine lingered on your thirsty lips. You were no ordinary devil. You wanted so much more. You wanted to milk my soul and body of every last drop.
You're a vampire. And you haunt me. The moment I'm alone, the moment I strip my body of my clothes and walk around in my ignorance, just trying to live my life...you lurk in the dark and wait for me. Wait for my most vulnerable moments, like I'm your prey. And then you show yourself. You haunt me. Like a ghost. Like a demon. A vampire in the shadows, I swear I feel you.
I see you in the corner of my eye, and then as soon as I look up, the shadow is gone. I'm scared.
I'm scared at the fact that I ever trusted you; opened my heart for you. Why was it that when I showed my naked, vulnerable self to you, that you decided to see all my flaws and throw them back at my face? I loved you. I didn't want to hurt you or ruin your life. I just wanted to be one with you. Couldn't I have joined you in immortality?
And now I close my eyes and instead of seeing the magical, passionate, sweaty, romantic sex we had together...I see you hovering over me, using that charm and mystery to pull me back in.
You stand tall in your brave handsomeness, basking in the fear that fills the air from my shaking body. Waiting and watching as I quiver for you. You see the struggle. I want you but I can't.
Stop watching me. Stop grazing your fingers up and down my body. Stop inhaling big breaths of my scent as you shove your face into my neck. Stop forcing your facial hair to scratch my sensitive skin. Stop using all my weaknesses against me. I don't want your lips on my neck, licking the sweat from my skin. I don't like it. I don't want it.
I don't want these images in my head. Please.
I can't do it anymore. You make all my awareness disappear. I'm a puddle. You could bathe in me right now. And you would.
I know you would. You knew how much I got off to you. The thought of you. Every. Damn. Time.
You forcefully took me the way you wanted. The way you needed. You watched as my body oozed for you. The spell was cast. No exorcism or healing ceremony was going to free me of you. You swarmed my mind, forever filling me with the grotesque desire we shared.
Everytime I succumbed to the consuming thought of you, like an avarice for your cock, I had to announce it to you like it was a headline in a newspaper. As your rightful slave, your forced follower, it was an order to comply with.
Your eyes swam in my words. They indulged. Didn't you ever feel guilty? Guilty when you revealed your identity and played the devil, engaging in my fantasies. You fuelled them up. You filled them up. You filled me...up.
God, how many times did I beg you to breed me. I wanted to give you everything. My intelligence, my kindness, my empathy, my love, my attention, my wisdom, my care...my mouth, my hands, my boobs, my belly, my pussy, my ass, my tiny virgin butt hole, my hips, my thick thighs...my soul.
I wanted it all, for you. I believed...I believed my body was created for you. And it was. I was made to be a slave to you, my body a sacrificial lamb to your cock.
The way you fit into me like a puzzle piece when you fucked me on the kitchen counter, in my house, with no mercy. You appeared out of nowhere. You decided that was the night to take me. You had my heart that night and you knew it.
The food was getting cold. Our clothes are in a heap on the dining chair. Wet puddles dripped down the edges of the counter. Sweaty hand prints everywhere, like graffiti around us.
There was an invisible box surrounding me, I couldn't move. Your spell on me was captivating my freedom. You injected that spell into me and took advantage when I was at my weakest.
Our bodies did so well, clashing together, bracing for impact before letting go, only for a brief moment.
I feel shackled. I feel like my mind and body are tied up in your mind. I'm stuck here. I can't move. I can't breathe. I am being suffocated by the massive impact of your fantasy.
Fuck me again. Yes, I said it. Just once more. I need more. I can't help it. I don't want to, want it. I don't want it. I want to run. This is force. But I love it. Like an itch from a deadly bite that will never get better if touched, but the burning pleasure of scratching it is too tempting.
I'm soaked. For you.
I can't help it.