The worst sort of pain is not physical. It is emotional.
Growing up an overweight, disgusting slob of a boy, I was always the target of ridicule and laughter from my peers. I always tried to write everything off and move on but that didn't mean anything to them. I was just a punching bag.
To the guys, I was a joke, that guy you can pull pranks on and get away with. But the girls, they were worse, way worse.
With my lack of social skills, I tended to gravitate towards females as my friends. My best friend through Elementary School was Madison. Madison and I as kids were like two siblings. She always stuck up for me and I always cared for and supported her. Whether it was comforting her when her cat died or cheering her up by giving her some of my lunch. She was my best friend, and I would have done anything for her.
As we both grew older, there came new girls, and new friends that the both of us would become acquainted with. After Maddy came Abby. Abby was a bit of a smart ass and fancied herself as a comedian, with her nonstop jokes and sometimes mean-spirted pranks like pulling a chair from underneath me as I sat and dropping flat on my ass in 4th grade in front of everyone. But I brushed it aside, why be so sensitive?
After Abby was Amber. Amber was the daughter of a former NFL player and cheerleader. She inherited her mother's looks but also inherited her Father's way of treating others. She was a bully as much as she was that typical preppy upbeat, happy fake female. Maddy liked her though and so I did too. Her friends were also my friends I felt.
Shortly came Brianna. Brianna had moved from New York City and was the new girl out of place in this white bread country neighborhood. Maddy welcomed her with open arms and thus I did too. Although Brianna was a bit difficult because as much as I tried to talk to her, she wanted nothing to do with me. So, while we hung out together, we didn't really sit together.
Then there was Phoebe. Phoebe was the most accepted and beloved of the group. She didn't like to talk much but loved to smile and just be there in the moment. More often than not she was the other person in the group I'd spend the most time with because we were both shy and reserved around others and so when the group split, it just was easy to stick with someone like me, though we couldn't be any more different.
Then there was Katrina. Katrina or "Kat" was the final member of the group that had begun with just Maddy and I on the first day of Elementary School and now by the time we had reached 7th grade there were 7 of us. Things though were starting to go downhill though.
As we all grew up, we all grew differently. Maddy became blessed genetically with a figure that allowed her most feminine features to stand out and the attention had inflated her ego tremendously. Abby embraced a Gothic look and appearance all the while maintaining her sarcastic demeanor. Amber found herself genetically blessed as well as being able to maintain a perfect figure to go along with her angel face.
Brianna struggled with the move and started being more cynical and disrespectful, often lashing out at me if something about me bothered her at that moment. Maddy would apologize on her behalf, but it still bothered me.
Phoebe stayed the same. She went through those Middle School years and still maintained her kind, meek, shy, demeanor. Nothing really changed but her age. Kat experienced some changes of her own as she started cutting her hair shorter and working on growing muscle in her arms to impress other girls.
It was on Maddy's 18th birthday that it all came ahead. High School had ending, and things were changing fast. For Maddy's 18th birthday she sought out to have a party that would never be forgotten. I remember being surprised when I arrived to her home and didn't find her parents' home but I did find liquor on the kitchen table.
She had gotten it from an upperclassman who wasn't able to attend but stole some from his brother's liquor cabinet.
"We are going to turn up tonight!", Maddy exclaimed.
"I don't know Maddy, I've never had alcohol.", I said.
"Pfft, it's easy, just have a few drinks and you'll ease right into it.", she replied.
We all gathered in the basement where the girls and I all sat in a circle together as Maddy brought down the drinks. Pouring us all a glass of something different.
"Hey, let's play truth or dare.", Maddy said.
