My name is John... Hello.
Now, I'm not here to sit and tell you that I'm some sort of genius, but I'm not a complete idiot either. That being said, when I was in my early twenties, people probably saw me as a first-rate moron. Back then, my behavior was legendary for its absolute stupidity.
You see, somewhere around my 20th birthday, I decided the best way to spend my life was going to those warehouse dance parties that we used to call raves. I went to those things as often as possible, and of course I got as fucked up as possible.
I mostly drank and did a lot of E when I went, but I didn't necessarily limit myself to just those two evils. I was up for anything as long as it promised some cheap thrill or an altered state of mind. On top of that, I thought that drinking and using drugs somehow made me the coolest of the cool.
These days I can admit there just isn't anything cool or special about getting fucked up all the time. Back then though, I really did think I was something special. Yup, I really thought I was mister cool and smooth who could move with the groove. But in reality, I was just another fucking addict who needed some serious help.
The worst part of the whole thing was that something changed inside me whenever I got fucked up. That's when my stupid fucking brain tried to convince me that the pills I was popping magically transformed me into the god of romance. Yeah... So, whenever I got high, I'd constantly hit on women. Any woman, anywhere, any time.
Most of the women I would hit on were completely out of my league. They were smart and pretty and smelled so good. A lot of them were even married, but I didn't care. As I said... any woman, anywhere, any time. Needless to say, I got turned down in every way imaginable and got slapped more times than I care to mention. It seemed whenever I was high, nothing could stop me from making a total ass of myself.
The absolute height of my stupidity came when I was at yet another rave. It was Halloween night, and I went to this dance party called the Rave-N's Conspiracy. It seemed like everyone in town was there, most of which were in costume. I was dressed as a pirate captain, which seemed appropriate considering what I was up to.
As usual I was stoned out of my gourd, and since I was high, I was plying my wares in the romance department. Captain Romance, as I referred to my alter ego whenever I got stoned, was my wing man. My costume fit him perfectly, and he was on fire that night. The Captain had found not just one... but a total of three sexy ladies wanting to spend some time with me.
So I played it cool, splitting my time between these three willing hotties. I'd dance with each one while the others were taking a potty break or getting a drink. It was quite the juggling act to keep them from knowing about one another... But that night, the Captain had it covered.
As the evening went on, I started making out with one of the three hotties. She was the curvy dark-haired one with giant-sized titties wearing some sort of leather witch costume. She said her name was Corvus, but that I should call her Raven, and she kept lifting her skirt and rubbing her ass on my crotch. She even let me feel her up.
It looked like I had this Raven chick in the bag, so to speak, but the fucking Captain wasn't quite ready to let loose of the other two fine young ladies. I mean, who was I to deny any woman that rare opportunity to be with the Captain? So I kept working my game with all three of them.
Yes, sir, the night's events were playing into the Captain's hands. Every little bit, Raven would go off to talk with friends, powder her nose, or get another cocktail... You know, like girls do at these things.
As luck would have it, this blonde chick in a bodice would be right there to dance with me as soon as Raven was gone. Then when I was done dancing with Blondie, this taller gal in this sexy roman soldier outfit would be waiting to spend some time with me.
I was as smooth as silk that night. These women had no idea Captain Romance was playing all three of them. I'd never danced, kissed, or been groped so much in my life.
Eventually, I'd find my way back to Raven, or maybe she would find me. I have no idea which. Then we would continue our make-out session. Of course, if someone made me choose between the three, Raven was the one I wanted to go home with. Damn, she had some big tits.
As the evening went on, things got crazy and my little game started to backfire on me. Of course it did. How could it not? The whole thing started going to hell when I saw the blonde talking to the tall soldier girl. At that point, I was sure I'd been caught. There was no doubt that I needed to get control of the Captain before things got completely out of hand.
If there was any chance of me scoring. If I was going to get laid that night, I knew I needed to concentrate all my efforts on Raven. It wasn't easy, but I finally got the Captain to agree with me and I stopped dancing with the other two hotties. Then I patiently waited for Raven to return after she left to tinkle.
The lines at the ladies' room must have been pretty long because Raven was gone for a while. I wasn't worried. I knew she would come back to me. I knew she could never fully resist Captain Romance.
It was pretty late when Raven finally got back from whatever she was doing, or she may have only been gone for five minutes... I was so fucked up at that point I really didn't know. But this time when she came back, she looked at me with a devilish grin and said, "Hey, I scored some VE... You want a hit?"
"What's Vee Eee?" I hesitantly asked, as if I was suddenly picky about the drugs I took.
"It's kind of like Sexy-X. You are going to love it." She grinned, pressing her tits into me as she put this odd-looking pill on her tongue.
VE?... Sexy-X? I didn't have a clue what she was talking about... But when she fed that pill to me with a deep sexy kiss, I swallowed it. Then she took me by the hand and hauled me off to the dance floor.
Now, no matter how hard I try. No matter what I do. The only thing I can remember after taking that hit of VE is being led out onto the dance floor. After that, everything was a blur at best, with most of what happened at that rave being a full-on blackout.
The next thing I knew, I was no longer at the rave. Instead, I found myself sitting in what looked to be the living room of this strange old house. I had no idea how I got there or even what time it was.
The furnishings in this place were as odd as the house itself. Yet, they were kind of sexy. The chairs and sofa were curvy, soft and sensual, but in a creepy sort of way. I mean, what kind of furniture has leather belts on the armrests?
The walls in this room were painted exceptionally dark, and I swear the goateed man staring at me from the portrait above the fireplace had horns. The rest of the room's décor was done up by someone who obviously had a thing for stars and candles, but they had hung every one of those stars upside down for some peculiar reason. Oh my god, I was so fucked up.
In my mind, the place looked more like a dungeon than a place to live, but that was probably just my fucked up brain's interpretation. As my fucked up brain tried to make sense of it all I spotted the shawl I'd seen Raven wearing draped over a chair, and decided this house must belong to her.
"Success!" I silently said to my totally fucked up self. Then after a bit of foggy time passed, I slowly thought... "Looks like the Captain had actually managed to pick up the hottest one of the bunch."
Now I had no fucking clue what VE was or even Sexy-X for that matter, but whatever Raven passed to me in that kiss had my senses firing on all cylinders. Everything in the room seemed to be moving like a thick viscous fluid. The eyes of the man in the portrait kept looking at me with evil intent, and the walls pulsated with this horrible new-age coffee shop music as if they were alive. Worst of all, that horrible music was forcing its way into my ears, making me want to fuck.
That VE stuff didn't stop at my ears. That magic drug was making me tingle and shiver with hot and cold sensations, all at the same fucking time. Everything I touched felt strangely textual down to the weave of my clothes, which I could actually hear bending and rippling with every move I made. On top of all that, I had this intense erotic sensation coursing through my entire body, making me feel like I was about to cum.
Adding to all the other weirdness, I had this strange feeling that my body was so light it could float like a feather on a pool of bubbles. Yet my feet were so heavy I couldn't move them. It was almost as if my shoes had been glued to the floor. At one point, I actually thought some prankster had indeed glued my feet down. But with what seemed like a herculean effort, I managed to move one of them. Imagine how relieved I was.
Now whatever that VE stuff did to speed up and sharpen my senses, it seemed to do the exact opposite to my brain. Everything I did seemed to be going in slow motion. I mean, I just couldn't think.
My brain was so messed up that it felt like every single word, thought, and movement had to push its way through a bucket of jello to get out of my head. I wanted to ask one of the three Ravens standing in front of me if she wanted to make out, but at that point, forming a coherent sentence just wasn't possible.
It took a bit to figure out that I wasn't hallucinating. But my brain finally informed my stupid ass that there was only one Raven standing in front of me. She was the one holding a riding crop dressed in some kind of leather sex outfit. Well, maybe that's what she had on. For all I know, it could have been the same costume she had on at the rave.
Without a doubt, I was more fucked up than I'd ever been, but I wasn't about to complain. This stuff Raven had been calling VE was giving me one hell of a hard-on... and even though the evening had become a bit of a freak show, it looked like I was about to get laid.
