Chapter 1: Gangster Shit!!!
Except for fucking his principal and sometimes some of her family members, Jay usually stayed inconspicuous at school, as far as the academic staff was concerned.
However, one morning, he had trouble with his history Professor, a gentleman by the name of Atkins. The Prof was a tall, lean, man of 55. He was of Brit parentage, and very proud of his Anglo-Saxon heritage. He had short reddish hair, a handlebar mustache, a goatee, and wore small, round specs in class, like a character from a Charles Dickens novel. With his pronounced English accent, and wacky, witty humor, he really gave off a convincing figure of an English man, as far as his students were concerned. He was well liked.
He had given Jay an assignment to explain the causes of WW1. When he was called to the front of class, Jay said,
"Well, sir, I can best explain WW1 using a model of LA I mean, these are the major gangs in LA, right?"
He wrote on the board,
"Bloods, England, & Belgium- Crips, Germans and Austria-Hungary, Essays, Russia, France & the Slavs."
The other kids started to laugh and a couple even flashed gang signs, like , "West side Bieeetch!!!".
"Jason, I am warning you, if you..." Professor Atkins' brow furrowed. He did not like a smart ass.
"I am getting there sir. What I mean is, Europe was like a neighborhood with several gangs, all fighting for the upper hand. Instead of drugs, street corners, however, they were fighting for territory and colonies, so they could rob natives of raw materials and sell them their products at inflated prices, to boost their home industries and develop their countries."
"Now, they were all rolling deep, and armed to the teeth, filled with greed and lust for power. So the inevitable happened and things got popping. The Essays, as in the Serbs, blew up the Austrian Heir to the Throne. The Austrians wanted to kick the Serbs ass, right. But Russia was like, "No way son. Touch the little homie, I'll touch you!!!" But Germany and Austria were down, so the Huns threatened to blast on Russia. But France and Russia were banging in the same gang, so France got involved. Austria went off to Serbia to kick ass and and mass murder some Serbs and Russians. Germany marched through Belgium to cut off France from Russia. But England and Belgium were banging in the same gang, so the Brits declared war on Germany, right? That is WW1. You see sir, its a Gangster fairytale."
The students clapped and laughed, but Mr Atkins was annoyed.
"Are you stupid? You cant compare the cradle of civilization to some stupid gangsters in LA!"
"Come on sir, I mean, even the government is a bunch of gangsters. I mean, taxes are just another form of protection schemes. Like, you work hard, earn your money, and the government says "Pay me son, and I will protect you, but if you don't pay me, I will send my boys the police to deal with you."
"What! That is incredulous Jason. First of all, the government isn't some gangster institution, they are elected, in a fair and free way..."
"Like how Bush beat Al Gore, you mean. Al Gore had 2 million votes more, sir. How come Bush was declared the winner..."
"Well, its the electoral system! Democracy isn't perfect, but its the best system we have got." Mr Atkins insisted.
"They are glorified gangsters sir. Nobody even trusts politicians. Everybody thinks they are crooks." Jay said with a smile and the students laughed and clapped in agreement.
"Look, the government does a lot of things for you. They protect you..."
"Exactly," Jay smiled. "Protection."
"They build schools, roads, hospitals..."
"Sir, without Medical Aid you cant go to a Hospital. Without tuition, my kids cant study, though I paid my protection money, I mean, my taxes. Now, that's Gangster! The President is an O.G."
The students hooted in agreement and laughed heartily.
Mr Atkins did not even have to say it. He just pointed at the door. "I wont let you in unless you apologize for your truant behavior"
"Oops!" Jay thought, picked up his books and walked out.
Ms de Vries had Librarian written all over her in block letters. And indeed the 45 year old spinster with long, red hair worn in a bob, plus a long, thin, freckled face disfigured by over sized specs, was the Librarian at Jay's high school. On this particular afternoon, she sat behind her desk and quietly observed the students that were reading.
Ms de Vries kept her face severe and stern, so that they knew not to mess around. Well, they had better not make any noise or drop books, and they definitely better not fall asleep, coz Ms de Vries would damn sure kick them out, like all the men she had kicked out of her apartment, for trying to kick base. Though some young buck might have told her, "Thanks for nothing ho", for being a childless spinster whose pussy had long grown cobwebs from disuse, Ms de Vries was so proud that she had led a virtuous life.
One student in particular held Ms de Vries attention. He was a young black man. Ms de Vries knew that there were several of those in the school, but they usually never graced the Library, for they were sports students. Jason, she had noted his name, however, came by regularly. He would take out heavy volumes on European History, sit apart from everyone else, and reading, exclaiming and laughing to himself. Ms de Vries didn't like people who mistook the Library for a comedy show.
The ringing of the siren ripped Jay out of the book he was reading. Reluctantly, he closed it and picked up the three volumes he had been perusing through that afternoon. He handed them to Ms de Vries. Out of curiosity, the spinster checked the titles. One was Machiavelli's, "The Prince", the other was titled, "The Conquests of Alexander the Great" and the third was "The Rise and Decline of the Roman Empire!"
For a second, Ms de Vries felt like hitting him on his black head with the books. How could he laugh whilst reading on such great men, who had achieved so much for humanity. The spinster could not contain herself.
"You might wanna try out "Twelfth Night" next time. Or you could buy yourself a copy of MADD at the next newspaper stand," she said cheekily.
"That shi... I mean, that stuff is funnier than anything MADD ever came up with," Jay responded. He liked verbal fencing.
"This is not comedy yunno, these are some of the greatest men in History,"